Blighted Ovum - My miscarriage.

 

I was ecstatic to find out we were going to become parents for the second time, even though it was unexpected as we weren't trying and didn't think we would be able to fall naturally after concieving Anthony (our first) on clomid almost 2 1/2 years earlier. Shayne

on the other hand was a little hesitant due to financial reasons and a number of other personnel issues at the time.

The first sign to me wasn't even apparent. it was an off the cuff remark a friend made that made me think I could possibly be. I had just told her how I had been sick earlier in the day when I had my cuppa, and it tasted extra creamy and just sat funny in the tummy. I had felt "off" for the rest of the day. This was the beginning of my all day sickness. All in all I lost 11kg the first 8kg within a week. I went and saw a doctor who prescribed medication to help prevent vomiting. She also sent me for a dating scan, (the blood work I had done 2 weeks prior to the scan indicated I was 5-6 weeks)

The scan revealed an empty sac and had there of been a yolk or embryonic pole would suggest I was 6 weeks gestation. Not the 7-8 weeks my blood tests would of put me. I don't remember driving home that day. Luckily it was a Saturday, Shayne had Anthony and was waiting for me at home. I was an emotional wreck. The worst thing I did was google it....... Gestational sac but no baby.  and Empty gestational sac. Everything indictated blighted ovum.

Blighted Ovum is a very common form of early miscarriage and alot of the time the women don;t even know. When the fertilized egg has implanted itself within the uterus, the Embryo either stops developing and is re- absorbed back into the body or doesn't develop at all. Blighted ovum will still give a positve pregnancy test and the gestation sac may continue to grow for sometime. You may even show early signs of pregnancy (as I did). Eventually the pregnancy hormones will subside (along with the symptoms) And you may begin to miscarry. Signs of this are spotting/bleeding with or without cramping. In some cases the cramping may begin first. This is because your uterus has stopped growing properly and this will be the beginning of a miscarriage. If it is not known that the sac is empty by this stage or a 12 weeks your doctor can't hear your babie's heart beat, you will be sent for an ultrasound, to find out the reason. If it shows a blighted ovum (or as doctors prefer these days early pregnancy failure) depending on the your indivudual sitiation, you may decide to let nature take its course or as a miscarriage can take some weeks, it may be too emotionally draing, physically uncomfortable or medically inadvisable (prolonged bleeding runs a higher risk of infection) a dilation adn curettage (d & c) may be done. You should get your period back within four to six weeks after you have the "tissue" expelled or removed. Most doctors say you can start trying to concieve after this and some recommend you wait for another cycle. Contraception is recommended as you can ovulate as early as 2 weeks after a early pregnancy loss. But most importantly wait until you are emotionally and physically ready to start trying to concieve again.

The day after which was a Sunday I started bleeding very lightly and Shayne and I made a trip up to the hospital where we were confronted with the rudest Triage nurse I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. I told her I had a light bleed and was between 6-8 weeks pregnant. I had a scan done the day before and it showed an empty sac. At this point she interrupted and informed me, if it was a miscarriage there was nothing the doctors could do to help at this stage and if I had an empty sac there was never a baby there any way. It's just the same as a phantom pregnancy. At this point I was bawling my eyes out and everyone was looking at me. I didn't care, I felt like in an instant this women had just ripped my heart out and threw it in the bin. As far as I am concerned, once fertilisation and implantation has occured and the hormones that drive a pregnancy have begun, then there is a prenancy and a "baby". All though medical terms do not allow this to be true. I ended up going through to see a doctor any how, and the intern I had was absolutly lovely. She had blood taken done an enternal exam and took a look too. Unfortunatelly, as alot of people who have been in this situation would know, there is not alot that can be done other than bed rest just in case it's not what we were about to go through.

I was sent home and told to have a follow up with my doc and request 2 beta hcg blood tests to confirm they were still on the rise possibly suggesting that the bleeding could be a  normal first trimester bleed. And another scan to check my dates weren't wrong for the scans and I could possibly be 4-5 weeks prenant. So in 2 weeks I have gone form 5-6 weeks to 4-5 weeks. Hello something not right here! Not to mention my all day sickness had suddenly ceased. I had the blood tests done along with a few other (to rule out any other issues of course)  and the scan done a week later. Beta hcg on the rise but still only 6 weeks pregnant with an empty sac. So I was possibly 6 weeks for three weeks. The cramping had continued to increase and as did the bleeding. After I had seen the doc about the second scan. I knew what it was and that my wishes of having another little bub were over for the time being. But the doctor of course wouldn't let me conciede defeat so easily and wanted to do more beta hcg blood tests and get my hopes up again. This was the Wednesday, I made an appointment to return Friday and as I st in his room looking at my feet, he said how sorry he was that it wasn't the news we were hoping for and my levels had begun to drop significantly. I burst into tears and he kept apologising. I had told him on the wednesday, I aready knew and he didn't want to listen to me. He said he wouldn't be able to get me in for a d &c that day as there would be no aenethesists available. I left the surgery and was putting Anthony in the car when he came out and told me he may possibly be able to have it done and I agreed. This was at about 11.30 am. I had to call Shayne home from work. I went home to wait and layed on the couch while Anthony slept with the pain getting intensly worse. The same as labour pain really. And I guess that is just what it was. Shayne called and I had to go pick him up from the train station, we organised a baby sitter and I was at the hospital by 3 pm and admitted. I was put in labour ward as the hospital is having renovations done. At about 4.15 I was asked my pain rating as I had complained on admittance and was in obvious discomfort. 9/10, so she got me pethidine, but befor she gave it to me, I went to the loo and passed a tennis ball sized clot, which I presented her with when she returned to drug me up. The bleeding had gotton signifigantly worse to where I was changing pads every 45 minutes. At this stage iwasn't allowed out of bed as the pethidine had kicked in and I become groggy. I fell in and out of a light sleep, up until I was taken to theatre. As I waited out side the theatre (shayne was still allowed with me) and I asked him for a hug. He teared up and truned away and just said I'm sorry I can't. This absolutely shattered me. In a couple of minutes he returned to hold my hand and then I was taken in and next thingI am having a mask put on my face then I am awake in recovery. i was let home at about 9:30 with very little instruction on after care and what to expect in general inclunding mental health. So that was the Friday night. Sunday night I left and went on my holiday as it had been paid for for about 8 weks or so.

I never dealt with our loss the way I needed to and not a day goes by where I don't think about what had happened and wish it had been dealt with better. I will always miss my baby that I never got to see or hold but I need to try and move on with my life and not let this be the end. Moving on does not mean forgetting because no matter what else life throws at you, the loss of  a baby will always be with you, even though the hurt does eventually subside. Believing this is what keeps me going.