Thank Goodness For Mother's Group

Being the eldest child, cousin, and grandchild by a significant number of years there has always been babies in our family to love and care for. I can never remember a time when I didn't want a baby of my very own. But like many twenty-somethings with a career and

waaaaaaay too much of a fascination with trashy mags I may have had a slightly romanticised vision of what it would be like. Sure, I knew I would be sleep deprived, but being an insomniac prior to my pregnancy I thought I could handle it. And yeah, I knew it would be super hard work, but being an ultra organised control freak, I thought I could deal. I also had a vision of myself exactly as I was prior to pregnancy, doing my thing, catching up with friends, being the same old person, just with a tiny little uber cute mini person on my hip. I even thought Maternity Leave would be sort of like a working holiday. Just like Hollywood right? WRONG!

Let me start by saying that my son is even more beautiful than I thought he would be. He's a tiny, cuddly, happy little dynamo who makes me laugh every single day. He's good natured, loves his food, and while we are currently experiencing some sleep *blips* I really cannot complain.  So why did I feel like such an incompetent when I brought him back from the hospital?

Fast forward to the 10 day in home visit by the Infant Health Nurse (this woman is a saint, by the way, one of the most excellent people I have met). She checked him out, all was good. She asked me a few questions, I cried, which I almost never do, but got over it pretty quickly. She then broached the subject of Mother's Group. Obviously my apprehension showed (expose myself to strangers???) "Not a joiner, hmm?" says she "Uh...well, it's not that," says I "It's just that when we had pre-natal at the hospital I just had nothing in common with the other people." You see, they all seemed really nice, but most of them were not currently in the workplace, and their husbands had manly, tough guy jobs involving heavy machinery and other such bloke-y stuff. I'm a career Public Servant and my husband is a musician- it's a different world. Still the Infant Health Nurse convinced me that this would be different as her health centre was closer to home and catered to a different demographic. I wasn't convinced but when my son was 15 days old, I was in the throes of cabin fever and it was time for the first session. What had I to lose?

We've never looked back. I've heard all the horror stories of competitive mothers, horrible children, and complicated dysfunctional friendships and I have to say I have experienced none of those. All the babies are beautiful angels and the mothers are a delight to be around. I am pleased to say we've all become fast friends and I for one have had my sanity saved many times by this great group of mothers. Everyone has been refreshingly honest about their experiences and more than willing to help out with advice, a cuppa, or a sympathetic ear. And cake. Everyone loves cake, right?

When one baby does something new and awesome, everyone stops and praises them. None of that 'oh well my baby can do that too' guff that I've heard about- actually honest delight in the achievement of others. Sure, we are all different ages and professions but all of us seem to fall into the moderate, well balanced parenting mould and happy to be there. And no judgement either- someone wearing trackies to a gathering doesn't garner a sly 'oh dear, hasn't so-and-so let herself go' but rather a 'wicked, I'm going to wear my comfy clothes too!' Plus there are so many fun things to do which are only more enjoyable as part of a group. Park visits turn into picnic parties, mother and baby movie sessions are a blast and baby shops love it when you bring the whole group in and often reward you with a big discount.

For anyone who is umming and ahhing about whether to go to one of these, I urge you "just do it". It's one of the best decisions I ever made. Thank goodness for Mother's Group!