All the questions about birthing lately have made me remember (with joy!) the births of my beautiful children.
One thing I tend to gloss over was the pain I was in after my second birth. After a long labour, I was so relieved when the contractions changed to urges
to push. It was a huge change and not only was the pain easing, but the joy of knowing that it would not be too much longer to meet my baby.
I had planned a calm birth and aside from a few issues such as monitoring had got my wishes. One of the issues I had specified was that I wanted to breathe her out naturally, as my body urged and to not have an unnecessary episiotomy.
However, due to rising blood pressure and the long labour, the midwife told me that I was going to have to push her out, and the dr advised unless she was out by 7.00 he was using forceps. So, at 6.55pm with a few huge pushes, my little girl slipped out.
In all the joy of the moment and the relief, I hardly noticed the dr getting out his needle and thread. He advised I had torn (in his words, God had given me an episiotomy) and would need stitches. It didn't hurt, contrary to my fears, and in all the excitement I did not really take in what he said.
IN the coming days I was more aware of it and it became quite painful.
So, if you are contemplating childbirth, or have just given birth, here are my tips:
- if you are allowed, breathe the baby out rather than push, as this will mean no tearing. It may take longer, but without a medical reason for pushing (as above) it is easier on you and the baby
- you will need to keep the area clean. I was told salt baths were good, but as we didn't have a bath, I took the shower head off its stand and used that to wash with warm water. I then used the hair dryer to dry it thoroughly (again, warm not hot)
- At the hospital they made long thin ice cubes and wrapped them in face-washers (or flannels) which you then put in your undies, so I kept this up at home. You can even just put a wet face washer in the freezer and use that - just don't put any ice against teh skin as that will make it even worse.
- I also found I needed something to help with bowel movements as I was too scared to push, so ask your midwife or your chemist for advice on this one - something to keep you regular and smooth
- I know you can also buy some oils and supplements that help with healing, maybe ask at your local health food shop, or ask your midwife
One last thing - after my tear I was very wary of intimacy with my husband. It took a while to gain that confidence back that it would not hurt or do damage. In the meantime ensure you have time together, even doing other affectionate things and be honest with your partner about your fears.
At the time it felt like it took forever to heal, it was over a month, which I didn't expect. So, be patient and be gentle on yourself. It will heal eventually and just be careful about that area in the meantime, after all it has been through a lot (and so have you!)
(July 17th) (
