One of the things you might like to think about when you are pregnant is how you plan to feed your baby. It is a very personal choice and there is a lot of information out there, and a lot of Minti discussion on it as many people have strong
feelings about it. I am not going to go into that here as I don't believe here is the place. What I thought I'd do is share some of the things I learned in my struggle to breastfeed so that mums who want to are better prepared to give it a go.
Firstly, breastfeeding is a skill - while "Natural", it does not come naturally. You need to learn how to do it from someone who knows how. Like any other skill it takes time to learn - my first hard lesson!
One of the best things you can do is find out as much as you can before giving birth - either at antenatal classes, through your local Breastfeeding Association or through a good book. If you have some idea what you are doing and back up plans for when you have problems, then you are well on your way.
Talk to your partner - how do they feel about the issue? One of the main reasons for women not breastfeeding is lack of support from their partner. So, negotiate beforehand, let them read the same information you have. If they feel uncomfortable about it, try and find out why. One mum I know has successfully breastfed her child even though her husband did not want her feeding in public or around his friends and family - once they negotiated this he was happy for her to feed her baby.
To give your baby the best chance at breastfeeding, a relaxed, stress free birth really helps. A baby who is given skin contact with mum from birth can latch on naturally and follow instinct. This is quite amazing to see. Sadly for many of us this doesn't happen - whether interference from drugs, from surgery or medical issues - this time is lost. For me, after a caesarian, I did not get the chance to feed my son for hours and when he did we were both so groggy it did not go well.
To remedy this try to get lots of skin on skin time - whether you have baths together, bare cuddles or just carry your baby a lot (I carried him in a pouch for the first few months). I found this really helped with that disconnected feeling. You can also try and limit contact with outsiders during the first few days - and just let mum & dad hold the baby so baby knows your smell and your voice - and you'd be amazed how well they know you in a short time. For this reason I was careful about using scents during those first few weeks.
My son had health issues - he was small (2.4kg), was very tired (he had been distressed during birth) and had a tongue-tie - and he struggled to feed. At various points I was told he would not be able to feed, at the same time as I was seeing posters in the hospital saying that size didn't matter and anyone could breast-feed - confusing! So, if you are told this, get a second opinion and ask someone who knows and has experience in this area, not just any nurse that happens to be on duty. Ask them to get a lactation consultant for you and make sure you see them before you leave hospital.
I found so many conflicting bits of information that I was confused. Finally someone explained to me that the baby uses their tongue to feed and needs to have the nipple right at the back of their mouth to suck properly. Once latched on properly their mouth is big and wide and covers your whole nipple. Once I understood this I found a way to latch him on so that the nipple was at the top and back of his mouth. This made a huge difference - no more cracked nipples and no more pain!
I also discovered that there were different positions to feed from and the one that suited us best as he was so small was the football hold or twin hold. This is where a lactation consultant should really be able to help as they can give you these tips. If you cannot get onto one you can contact the Australian Breastfeeding Association or La Leche League and find out if there is a group local to you and someone you can contact. If not, they can send you information or talk to you over the phone.
So, have these numbers handy, and if things go wrong, you are in pain or don't feel right then ask for help. Most women can breastfeed given the right help, so persist in trying. However don't be hard on yourself and if it is causing you great distress then there is no shame in giving your baby a bottle. I struggled with this and for me the desire to feed was stronger than my struggles (probably because of the disconnection and distress I felt from the caesar) but I learnt that it can be a struggle and it can be devastating to keep trying when it is not working. It can be less traumatic all round to find another way to feed your baby - and it will not be the end of the world, merely one step in a lifetime journey of parenting.
For me, I used a bottle for the first few weeks until I learned how to breastfeed, then I used it to top him up until he was on solids. He then breastfed past his first birthday - not bad for a child who I was told couldn't breastfeed. For baby number 2 it all came naturally and she never had a bottle at all, largely because I was more prepared this time (and she had a far more relaxed pregnancy and birth). I really hope that helps someone who may want to feed but is struggling, or who is planning to down the track - even if it didn't work the first time, don't assume it will be the same with each child. Here's to all you great mums out there!
(July 18th) (
