i had this experience first hand with my last baby i found out i was pregnant on my 2nd daughter's birthday, 8 days later my nan died and then 5 weeks later i find out i lost the twin to my daughter, life really wasn't the same there for a

while but i got through it with much needed support from my family and especially my husband.

i had a scan and nothing was mentioned to me or my husband and then when i took the results back to my dr he failed to inform me of what any of the mumbo jumbo meant, and it wasnt until we got home and my husband seen i had a 5.6cm cyst on my right ovary and a so called peri sac bleed, i freaked out not knowing what it was or what was causeing it so i rang my dr and he said the cyst will go away, ok no problems but "what is a peri sac bleed"? he said it was another fetus, uhh excuse me and he failed to inform me i was pregnant with twins, i was not happy and so confused i just lost my nan who i seen as a mother figure in my life and then i had to trace down that i had twins and only one survived, what was going on?.

well i was sent in for another scan a week or so later and the sonographer told us it was "vanishing twin syndrome" it's where the baby is being formed and for some unknown reason my body decided to "re-obsorb" the fetus back in, it's not a nice way of thinking about it and i still have trouble when i sit there and think i could have had twins if things had been different but it's the facts.

i cried alot about it and was told not so nicely that it didnt matter because it wasn't even a baby yet but it was apart of me, and at one stage this baby was alive i had so many questions with no answers and no one to help me understand so i thought i would research it up for myself and when i came across the sites i was amazed on how many other women had had this happen to them also and felt the same way as i did, and then i didnt feel so alone anymore.

through out my pregnancy i would often just sit and think about the baby as i didnt miscarry as such the baby was still inside me and would be until i delivered my live baby, but that was not the case when i delivered tennessee i was supposed to have delivered the placenta and stuck to the placenta would be a blood clot which was the twin but when i saw the placenta there was no sign of anything relating to the twin and now almost 5 mths on i am still bleeding and have been for so many tests to find out why but i do strongly believe it has something to do with the twin i lost but the dr's don't take anything i say seriously and don't even acknowledge this even happened and for thaty i actually feel sorry for them being so nieve to the fact this does happen and there are women out there that do need answers and guidence in times like this so they need better bedside3 manners as far as i am concerned but that is for a later date.

my advice to others out there who have experienced this or may in the future is to not let those sterio type poeple get to you, you have all the right to grieve for your baby/s and don't let anyone stand in the way of that because it only makes things worst for you.

and to anyone who knows of someone who has been through this sort of thing try and be compassionate until you have been through something like this you don't understand and i hope you never have to but maybe think about what they are going through to get a better understanding of the situation.

and last but not least make sure the tests are preformed by your dr or midwife don't let them get away with making it out to be nothing this is your child you have to be it's voice!

all the very best