Potty training advice

Everyday I read about parents online who  who are struggling with potty training.  More often than not it sounds like most people are trying to rush and force something that is actually something that I feel cannot be controlled through bribing, stickers and candy.  Here is my official/unofficial take

on potty training:

 Contrary to what you might believe a child cannot learn to potty train until their bodies are ready.  This exciting change should happen around their cycles not your calendar.  Parents are there to support and encourage the concept of potty training but until their bodies are actually capable of holding their stuff no amount of bribing and force can make them learn this.  It is also very important to remember that you little darling might pee on the potty for a week straight,  you will have stars in your eyes gleaming visions of being diaper free, and then guess what?  They back track and stop doing it.  I hate to be the bad messenger here but she might start up again weeks later or it might be years.  You must have patience and have an understanding of how this all works.  Again I will stress that you cannot force their bodies to do something if they are not ready.

My oldest son was not diaper free during the days until he was 4.  By 4 he was diaper free everywhere except preschool.  We didn't push the issue and soon enough it happened and he was out of diapers all together.  Overall "potty training" took us years.  From the first time he ever showed interest until he was actually diaper free.  I think too often parents have unrealistic expectations of their children.  My son is now almost 7 and he still has to wear a pull up at night.  He is a heavy sleeper and for whatever reason his body is not yet holding the urine through the night.  He doesn't wake up if he has to go and so he wets himself.  Many people would tell me to take off the pull up and let him wet the bed.  They will say that this will teach him not to go anymore because he will be waking up in a wet bed.  I disagree.  I don't understand how waking up in a wet bed is going to teach my son's body to hold his urine and or wake up if he has to go.  He is not doing this on purpose.  I know soon he will outgrow this phase as he has every other one.

All in all as with many stages and phases with children I think parents need to chill out a little bit and let things happen.  Be a gentle guide but don't pressure.