its so important to listen to people.
listening takes up a lot of energy. your mind and brain should be focused totally on the subject and not wondering off to other elements.
this is so important because time and time again and we are all guity of it
we caneasily drift off and think of other things or our own problems.
sometimes we are so focused in what we want to say in return that we are not really listening. if we miss one or two words in the conversation we could easily misinterpret the meaning
also we need to stay focused and watch the person we are talking to not only is it showing respect to the person and showing them that we are relly focused but we can pick up on how unhappy they are or depressed or happy. so many emotions are displayed that will help us give them advice or just to be there for them.
frustration and misunderstanding could easily creep in all beacuse the other person "wasnt listening" to what the other wa saying.
sometimes stubborness can crawl in where on person "always thinks they are right " so therefore they have shut themselves out of the conversation and jsut dont listen
these past 2 weeks the subject has focused within my sights in particular as i have had "strangers unburden to me"
the main thing to remember is to try to go into every sitaution with an open mind
too many times we fall into the trap of categorising for example "no they couldnt do that they wouldnt do that" so therefore the other person trying to express their views feels frustrated or made to feel that they are lying.
a classic example happened last night at work a dear old lady i was talking to (i had never met her before in my life) went off track at work and started telling me that her husband whom she was married to for 57 years has dementia and was finally put into a home 12 months ago beacuse she was so exhausted trying to make sure that no harm came to him or others and the house.
she wouldnt sleep at night otherwise he would turnthe house upside down she has two daughters. by the way she had told me she had 57 wonderful years with him she never worked over the years because he wanted to providefor her and he was wonderful to her.
anyway she told the daughters what was happening and they "just wouldnt listen"
they were telling their mum "dad wouldnt do that"
anyway this poor lady was so exhausted that this one night she said she was so tired and as she sat into bed with hubby she turned to him and said im so tired i cant go running after you anymore she must have dozed off because she woke to find the whole house turned upside down.
he had shifted everything into the loungeroom had taken things out of the bathroom and kitchen and one of the rooms that her daughter used to sleep in. "how he did it i will never know" she told me he had shifted heavy furniture the lot.
so that morning she rang the daughter that lived close to her and said "can you drop in before work?" the daughter asked what was wrong and the mum said nothin but if you could please drop in?
so the daughter did andwhen she got there she turned to hermum and said "oh mum yourve been burgled again"
her mum replied "no your dad did this!" so the daughter quickly got on the phone to herother sister and said you need to come up we have a "big problem on our hands"
so please listen. this poor mum finally got the "support " that she needed . she broke down to me so many times on the phone. i knew i was being monitered for quality purposes but i for one couldnt "ignore her " i knew it was important" to listen to her to take some of it off her chest . the phone call should have averaged 20minutes . it took 45 minutes.
i paid the price as one hour later i was pressured by my supervisor who himself was pressured by our bigger boss that my stats was below averge for that particular job. u worked harder still to get up to par and i was under pressure to "perform" and bring up my stats which i did by the end of th evening.
but im glad i spent that extra time to listen.
my advice is to listen not just to our children but our parents friends and strangers. please take each situation at face value. too many people hav made up their minds before the person has opened up their mouth to speak. thus judging people wrongly. studies have shown right or wrong beautiful slim people cannot be faulted .
on the other hand ugly fat people are ignored. there is a lesson to this people are not flawless or totatally to blame. so take away the bias and really listen next time.
they dont call it an art for nothing it really is hard to listen that takes a lot of practise understanding and patience.
annie
i
(August 2008) (
