Don't Be So Quick To Judge...

Have you ever gone to a playgroup or the play area at the mall and seen a small child push another?  How about a toddler who screams and screams when his parents attempt to get him to sit rather than stand on the slide or to move so another

Have you ever seen a parent chastise another parent because of their child's behavior in public?  Have you ever done this yourself?  Some parents are quick to judge others parenting skills.  Admit it, we all do it to some extent.  Maybe we don't say it out loud, but we sometimes think it.

We need to be compassionate and empathetic towards each other as parents.  We don't know what is going on with that child or parent that day, right?  Here is something else for you to consider  -- maybe the child is special needs.    I work with many special needs children who display the behaviors described above.  Some may have autism or perhaps sensory integration disorder.  Whatever the diagnosis, these behaviors are not atypical.

As an interventionist, I hear too many reports from the families I work with about being confronted in public by a parent about their child's behavior.  Unfortunately, this is not always done in a polite manner.  The comments are often viewed by the parents as condescending and judgmental.  What a horrible experience for these parents to have to endure!  To have to deal with the emotional roller coaster of learning that your child has a developmental delay is heartbreaking and anxiety provoking enough.  Add to that insensitive comments from strangers about your inability to control your child!  My heart breaks every time I hear one of these stories.

This of course does not happen only to parents of special needs children.  Nor does it mean that inappropriate behaviors by children, special needs or not, should be ignored.  When addressing parents or children, we should communicate with them the way we would want them to address us.

Now I don't want anyone out there to feel that I am chastising them.  That is certainly not the intent of this article.  Rather, I want to get you thinking.  It is easy to make judgments about others, but how fair is it if we do not consider all the situational factors?  Just keep in mind that there might be more going on than meets the eye the next time you see an out of control child.

Have you encountered this situation in public?  Do you have a special needs child or a relative with a special needs child?  Have they encountered this?  Post your thoughts and comments.