I am one of the "old school" Mums
I like structured bed times
I adore my children
But I needed some time time to myself in the evenings
But, it was not easy !!!!!!
From as
far back as I remember I would put my babies to bed at half 6, if they awoke in the evening, I would go to them and spend time calming them in their room, unless they were poorly or we had extra special visitors, once they went to bed in their room I would do all I could to ensure they quickly realised they were going to be there until morning.
The fun I had sticking to this, I can't tell you how many times I would fall asleep lying on the floor next to their cot...........there were times when I had to hide so they didn't realise I was in the room with them, it was common practice for me to hide under the cot so I could retrieve a soother, pat their back or rock their cradle until they were sound asleep.
It was demanding at the time, but once they had learnt I didn't back down, it made a huge difference to my evenings. My oldest, the best of all my sleepers actually would go to bed and sleep till about 11pm where I would feed and change him, only to go straight back to sleep until 8am. This pattern started when he was actually only 6 weeks old.
My daughter was a completely different ball game, I would put her to bed at 6.30pm and thats when my battle of wills commenced, I would be in and out of her room literally all evening!!!!!! When she was 9 months old I had to put her in a bed as she was frightening me with her ability to try and balance on top of the cot rails !!!!!!!! Once she was in a bed life got even harder as now I didn't need to be called for.........she could just come and find me ..............and frequently did !!!!!! But i can be a stubborn mule too and stuck to my plan, it took 3 years but soon she started realising that things were not going to change.!!!!
Both my younger boys, took on the pattern of their older brother, i don't know if it is a boy thing but my boys were definitely far better sleepers!!!
This was the routine of bedtime that I stuck to
Before bed they would always have a bath, and a feed, I would then place them in their bed, talking soothingly to them, then leaving the room.
I would then set up camp on the floor beside their bedroom door, waiting for the inevitable crying to start, when it did, I would time it, as long as it was whimpering, I could ignore it, if it developed into the screaming where you know they mean it, I would crawl into their room and see if I could comfort them without picking them up, mine as tiny babies would be quickly comforted by a rhythamic patting on their bottom, or their back, as they got older and you would walk in the room to see them sitting waiting for you or eventually standing waiting for you, I would lie them down, gently telling them to "Shhhhhhh"
The one rule is to always be calm and assured when you go back to them, if you are feeling uptight and stressed by their crying, its better to get your emotions under control and leave them crying a few moments longer than to go in frustrated and cross. Remember they don't see calling Mum as being Naughty!!!!!
Obviously you quickly can tell the difference between a cry of attention and a cry of pain, if you know they are in pain, possibly with wind then that needs to be fixed or they will never settle.
Bedtime routines worked well for me and my children, even now I still have set bed times for the boys especially on a school night, with more flexibility at weekends and holidays
Persisitence was essential for me, because as soon as I backed down one day...............then it would take me right back to the beginning for all following nights
(September 2008) (
