Recently I saw an Oprah show that was talking about if you had one more day with someone who has passed, who would you spend it with and what would you do? Well for me it was easy to answer. This month it will have been 10 years

since my mother died and I would choose her in a heartbeat… what would I do? Well…  

I would first of all tell her I love her I love her I love her, I’d give her a bear hug and tell her how sorry I am for not being there when she died. And also for being a ratbag kid and giving her grief… now I understand. I understand why she left my dad… I had no idea her dad was an alcoholic too. I’d thank her for being an awesome mother and tell how I really admire her for being so supportive and becoming “Brown Owl” when we wanted to do Brownies as kids and for sewing all our costumes when we did Callisthenics. I’d tell her how I was so looking forward to becoming closer to her seeing as we were finally having something in common…kids. 

 I would ask her many many questions, like…  

What was I like as a kid? And what dreams did you have for me? What was my birth like and who was there? Did I ever get chickenpox? And who are all those people in the photos? Why didn’t you speak about your childhood? What would you like to say to your grandkids? And… are you proud of me?   I would take her to her favourite place… Floriade in Canberra and just hold her hand and look at all the beautiful flowers with her. Then we’d go for high tea at the Hilton which she always loved.  Take the kids to the park and she could give them big cuddles and tell them how much she adores them. I just wouldn’t want the day to end.  

So, how is this advice you ask? Well it’s not until you become a mother or father that you truly understand and respect your mother, my advice to you is this….. Be kind to her and don’t wait until she’s gone to think gee I wish I had have asked or told mum that… like me… ask her all the questions now! She may think you’re being silly but at least you’ll get your answers! You could even make a list and make it like an interview. And something you can do for your own children is one thing that I would absolutely treasure from my mother… a hand written note telling them how very proud you are of them and how much you love them. It seems simple but would mean oh so much. I will do this for my children as I know in those moments of joy and sadness it will mean the world to them if I wasn’t here to tell them myself.  

Big hugs to all the mothers out there and to those who know what life’s like without one.  

Tracey xox