The article below is a response to a blog by new member bigski.  It is my own experience of what could have become a phobia.  I am no psychologist or psychiatrist.  But this worked for us and I hope that maybe someone else will gain useful ideas

of how to assist their child through a phobia.

New to this site.  I have a question to anyone.  Seems my 6 yr. old daughter has developed Pluviophobia or fear of rain or being rained on.  Has anyone experienced this with their children and if so, does anyone know how to help with this problem/

We have suffered from similar, though it never developed into a phobia. E went from being a water baby into a child scared of the bath, shower and hair washing.

When E was just 2 years old the daughters of her babysitter made her wash her hair under a shower attachment.  (I think because it was fun for them, like playing with a doll - there was certainly no need for it to happen)

As a result E has been cautious of playing in water ever since - immediately even getting my water baby to have a bath was a problem, but slowly over time we have changed behaviour and today she is heaps better.

At first we scrapped hair washes altogether.  It was too heart rending doing a bath let alone having to face the prolonged crying /sobbing /twisting to escape the water for a hair wash.  Also being a Single Mum I didn't have anyone around to help me rassure her or to reinforce my reassurances.

After a while E felt comfortable in the bath again and she would go in there to play for hours on end, just as she had done when she was younger.  So then I started washing her hair again.

She would scream.  I am not kidding - I was so sure someone would call the social services because those screams were heart breaking and cut at my soul.  But I persevered.  A hair wash was once every 6 months to start with.  Then when she started pre-school in January 2007 we made it once a month.  Now we do it every Saturday evening.

I had no idea for a timeline to work through, I just suggested the next step when I felt 1) she was secure enough in the water and 2) she trusted me emough to be there with her and save her if she felt threatened.  Cuddles after a hair wash are the norm now.  Partly to reinforce her security and partly as a reward for great work and we sit and watch a movie or read stories.

It has been a slow process and when we go to a swimming pool she will not put her head under the water.  That is fine with me, I know that one day she will be ready for that again and it wont be because of some trauma but because that is what she wants to do while she is playing with her friends.

This summer while we were staying with my parents she stood under the shower head quite happily.  This is a first ever since the episode of babysitting.  There is no rush and there is no disappointment if it doesnt happen.

While I have been writing this note E has been in the bath and she called me in to wash her hair, she was already lying down in the water and had even taken her hands off the sides of the bath so she could swish the water through her hair herself.  I was so pleased to see that - this was something that I had not thought I would see for a while yet.

For the past month or two she has loved to put the shampoo on herself.  So I am now seemingly only there to swish the shampoo off and rinse at the end.  We are still only using the bath and not the shower attachment for the time being, but that is ok with me.  Considering where she has come from - this is improvement and confidence that I never even dared dream of happening so soon.

I don't know what you can do to help your daughter, but I figure that by letting her pace herself and you just introducing what you think will be the 'next step' when you think she can handle it then you stand a chance of succeeding.

Maybe start with jumping in puddles after it has rained, or running through a sprinkler in the summer - that doesn't go near her head but only half way up her body - something that will help her establish for herself the behaviour of water and rain and how she can to a degree enjoy it and play in it.  Maybe when it rains and she understands that it helps the plants grow and stuff like that it will help her accept that this is just a part of life we have to deal with and it is beneficial.  Later on she can start to like it if she wants to.

I wish you luck with the journey and just relax in it.  It is nice to enjoy the rain and to walk out in it for fun as well as necessity such as getting from the car to the shop for that pint of milk needed for breakfast.  Take it one step at a time, one day it will be happening as it is for us with E and you will wonder that it ever seemed an issue.

Today I look back on time with E and it feels like forever and just yesterday all at the same time.

So now you have read mostly about my memories and experiences to where we are today. But how might it help you?

1) It is a journey that you undertake together. 

2) Going back a step is not a bad thing - next time try again.  There will be more awareness of limitations and confidence in ability.  Sometimes you may even tackle more than one new thing - other times you will just repeat the last step, gaining more confidence and self-assurance.

3) No recriminations for failure or disappointment.  If you are facing this problem head on as a parent, and supporting your child then every step (even if it feels like backwards) it is really going forwards.

4) Rewards, words of encouragement and praise, and cuddles to reinforce your there to protect and keep them safe and secure.  Cuddles worked wonders for us because it was a safe 'nest' where E would stop trembling.  Then after that we would finish off getting her dried and dressed.

5) Enjoy the time together.  There were times when I blew my top and told E to 'grow up and just let me finish this off'.  I knew I shouldn't, but it felt like we would never get to the point we are at today, let alone the point we are now working towards which I thought was just a castle-in-the-sky dream.

Peace
EF.x