autism, please dont take your child saying i love you for granted because my son dosent speak

You Are a great Mum and your children are so lucky to have you as a mum. dont let anyone tell you any diffrent..

xx cazza

My eldest son is autisic, but high functioning.  I also have people stare at me too - not because of tantrums, but because my son is 14 and still carries his soft toys around with him.  I also think that people are too quick to judge.  Before I had children of my own, I have to admit that I was one of those people - I just assumed it was due to bad parenting, but I know now that this couldn't be further from the truth.  Now if I ever see anyone who's having a bad time with their child, I thank myself lucky that I am not, and offer them help if they want it.

I also agree that age is irrelevant.  A good mother can be any age they want.

Best wishes to you.

Tanya

You're right. None of us have any right to judge another parent in those circumstances. It doesn't help anybody.

It's sad that your son can't speak. I'm sure he has a special way of communicating his love to you every day if not with words.

All the best to you. I will think of you next time I get annoyed at my kids being too noisy.

Thank you for this wisdom.  It is easy to take for granted what we accept as normal in our lives.  Every cuddle, wave and affectionate word is precious.

Peace
EF.x

thanks for the kind words and advice i will definitly do those things

What a weird world we live in! The cards we are dealt - who knows? I know that every day I think how lucky I am to have two 'normal' children, and feel guilty going to the doctors with little complaints. My children and I work with a 4 year old who is 3 days older than my daughter - he is moderately autistic and non-verbal. The other day his mother rang and my daughter answered the phone and had a little chat. What broke my heart was when I got on the phone to her and she said 'I wish I could have a conversation with A like that'.

I hope you have a lot of love and support from family and friends in your everyday life, and that you are accessing all community and government resources that you can, like respite care, in home help etc. Did you know that there is now a way to get funding for ABA therapy for your son? Get in touch with either your local council, or Autism association and they will be able to help you out with it all.

Remember to look after yourself as well - you need time to be an adult and have your own interests (a tad difficult with two babies, I know!).

Hugs, kisses and all that - never be embarrassed about your kids in public. People who make faces, sounds or eyes have nothing better to do and are usually the unhappiest of all!

wow i think you are a super mum! You are doing a great job sweetie, dont you go and worry about what anyone says. I had my first baby at the age of 18 but i looked like i was about 12, i had some very nasty comments made to me but i knew i was doing the best job of being a great mother to my boy.

keep up the great job your doing with your lovely kids.....be proud of yourself...i cherish those words i love you from all my kids,even my near 18 yr old!

take care sweetie... naomi xxx

thank you i really appreciate that i hope you liked your present you got

I think you are coping remarkably well, and I hope that things just keep getting better for you.  Always in our thoughts :)

If you feel you are old enough to be a mum then who is anyone to argue with you?

you did do your math right i was nineteen when i had my eldest son and since i have been on minti i have tried my best  to help as many people as i can  and hopefully from this people just wont assume that they will think before they act

I too want to encourage you. Every day I deal with struggling parents... from every age group and walk of life (that is here, anyways). Age has nothing to do with your ability to love someone. Anyways, if I do the math right, you were about 19 when you had your first... that's not considered young anymore! I had to counsel a pregnant thirteen year old last fall... that one broke my heart and made me mad... but that's another story. In today's world, 19 is not so young anymore. From all your comments and activity here on Minti, i  can see you are a loving, caring, competant mom with a big heart and a really big job. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I work with women twice your age that can't put their child's needs before thier own! From what you've written, your doing an excellent job, and anything else is just people being nasty.

If everyone valued every healhy, happy moment with their children as much as you do, I'd have a lot less work to do!

I Am's child.

any advive i can give to anybody makes me happy especially if it helps

 Thanks for sharing these touching thoughts!

Regards Janice

Thank you for sharing your article :)

I too have a son with Autism,however I am fortunate and lucky

my son is a talker.

I can't imagine what it would be like not to hear those precious words from your child

" I love you "

Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job parenting.

Hugs to ya :)

Thankyou for your advice and insight. Age though, has nothing to do with Parenting and you are living proof of that. I know personaly of Mothers who spend no more than an hour a day with their kids, and then expect a nanny to ferry the children at weekends to clubs, sports or friends, then have the audacity to sit there and say it is hard work, parenting in this day and age!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am an older mother and hope I do a reasonable job in caring for our girls, I also see many,many young Mums who are inspirational. Know in our own hearts that we do the utmost best, and begger the nay sayers, for they have not walked your path, and never will.

Best wishes to you and you lovely children, and thankyou for sharing.

Luv Winnie.xxxx

Hi there,

I am so sorry to hear about the problems with your children . .  What I am even sorrier about is that you have heard people say that young mums can't be as good mums as older mums as this is NOT true . . Being a mum is NOT about age, its about compassion, respect and a whole lot of love . .

I too have had some problems with my childen and my 2 yr old is only now just throwing tantrums and people often stare at her . . I usually just smile back and think to myself if only they new . . If only they didn't pass judgement and took a good look they would realise that her yelling and screaming and more about pain and frustration due to an illness and not because she is naughty or that I am a bad parent . .

Honey you can't go through life worry about other people and what they think . . Walk tall and walk with pride as you are a MUM and that is a beautiful thing . . .

Cheers Kellz