These days with society looking to throw away things that dont work I felt it timely to consider relationships. Human beings are sociable creatures and when things are going right they reman happy and loyal and yet when things go wrong its easy to jump into the Ill fix you,

I think this is very sad and yes I have been responsible for being in this situation myself. Relationships are important but like gardens they will perish if they are not nurtured so before a relationship is left never to be entered into again consider the folowing:-

What did I do to help this relationship?

What did I do to help end this relationhip?

What didnt I do to help this relationship?

What didnt I do to stop this relationship ending?

Regardless of whether we are talking friends or spouses but I guess Im targeting spouse relationships we are responsible for what we put in and take out of a relationship and yet we can easily fall into the blame game and forget we have our responsibility and well as the other person.

I am not talking about sustaining bad relationships, some relationships are not meant to be, or shouldnt be and that happens for a variety of reasons...I am talking about relationships and how to nurture them ensuring that they are the long term relationships of our wedding vows.

Make time to be with one another, away from family, away from children, even if in small snipits of time moments with just you and your spouse are tremendously important to ustain the "couple" you are.

Consider your needs and the needs of your partner and where you can compromise to ensure as many of those needs are being met and nurtured.

Dont argue. No one wins in a fight ,its best to wait until you cool down and discuss things rationally. Being able to speak and listen are the two most valuable assets you can possess...dont just listen with your ears listen with your heart and your mind really hear what your partner is saying and look for ways to support and reassure them....this is ofcourse reciprocial.

The best advice I have read comes frm a book called The Five Love Languages, essentially people feel love in different ways, if you dont love someone the way they expect to be loved it is very likely that they will feel unloved. These feelings lead to feelings of inadequacy, rejection, frustration and they could be alleviated before they become an issue. There are five different ways (generally speaking) that people feel loved and unfortuately we often miss our opportunities because we hare our love the way we like it not necesarily the way our partners do.

Remember the things that attracted you to your partner, remember the activities you participated in and make sure you continue to provide your relationship with those opportunities. Nurture each other like you do your children so they will feel loved and safe to return that love.

Look for opportunities to remind your partner how you love and appreciate them and do it everyday so it becomes natural and  remember it doesnt have to be huge ! A simple thing a kiss here, a hug there, fav meal, being listened to,being supported and most importantly remember thank you when they do something you appreciate.

Sustaining a relationship isnt easy its not meant to be, where would be the fun if it came easily but there is no need to throw away a good person and a great family when loking after the little things in life will easily nurture and sustain the love you feel the day you say I do!