If parents had the ability to see into the future the damage that some of their behaviors did to their children I'm sure they'd refrain.  I can't imagine ever telling my children they're stupid. 

I hope that one day, too my child will exude confidence in himself!

Thanks for the blog. 

Great advice helen  , of course he isnt stupid

Thanx for sharing xx

Great article full of wisdom and love. 

Peace
EF.x

GRRRR!!!!!! No - he is not stupid!!  Poor little D...  I think there are a number of things you should never call a child - and "stupid" is near the top of that list. 

 your son is not stupid just because people see someone acting different to them and the normal social order they immeadiatly think i that that person is either stupid or is below them they do this to make themsevles feel big and put people down around them . i have adhd and when was at primary school it wasnt the other children calling me stupid it was the teachers calling me stupid and lazy now that shouldn't happen from teachers they should encourage self esteem not crush it

Hi honey,

Thanks for another GREAT article . . .  Like you I would be rich for everytime I hear a mum call a child "'stupid" . . . Ironically this is also a word that is NOT allowed to be used in my home and we also have a ban on the words "Dumb" and "Hate"

NO child is stupid or dumb and NO child or adult for that matter should ever hate anyone . .  Its okay to dislike someone but it is NOT okay to HATE another person . .  This is what I teach my children.

The words stupid and dumb are HUGE no no's and are words that I beleive should never be used when talking to or about children. Both these words can be damaging to a child in more ways that most would ever realise . . .  Children take these negative words on board and they stick, the child becomes less interactive and often suffers from major self esteem problems once they have heard these two words used in conjunction with them . .

One day I heard a teacher telling my eldest that she could "spell a certain word because she was not dumb or stupid" . .  My reaction to this teacher was swift and VERY forceful as I strode into the class and removed my daughter . .  Needless to say the teacher was reprimanded by the principal and my daughter was apologised to by this teacher . . . 

Thanks again for a GREAT article . .

Cheers Kellz

Great advice Helen. Your poor boy. Must be hard to make him realize he isnt stupid. Big hugs hon.

xx

Well explained Helen, we know the damage this word has done to Daniel don't we? and maybe you can save any other lad from getting caught up in this trap. We have seen and heard how sensible Daniel is so we must encourage him to do well at school.

It's a very good article

Love Mum

Very true! Words hurt the most of all, IMO. I hope he makes some real friends nice & soon. At least in the meantime he has a great brother to hang out with.

E has a friend in her class with (I think) ADHD so this has given me insight into what makes him tick - thanks! He is lovely but very impulsive, and is way behind in his learning already, poor lad (he's just 5). I hope he wont hear "stupid" too often, but at least I can try to make sure E doesnt use it. So far I've just tried to emphasise that he "has to work much harder than you to learn the same things, which isnt fair for him, but that's just the way it is". I want her to realise that not everyone learns things as easily as she does!

I've heard far too many people call themselves stupid when something goes wrong, and I know from experience how I feel my heart sink if I use it on myself, so I make a habit of not using it, and correcting Dh if he does!

Of course, other words can be used harmfulyl too! I decided when E was little that if she did something silly, I would never say 'stupid', but instead I would use the phrase "silly billy". Seemed harmless to me! What I didnt realise was she then used this phrase in her childminders house, where "silly" is a banned word (the father had an aversion to it) and taught it to their youngest - oops! So now we say "big banana" - surely that's not going to be on anyones banned list or harm anyones self image???

Excellent advice..

I absolutely agree there is nothing worse then name calling, and even now some words that i get  called still hurts as it brings back memories from my childhood..

Daniel isnt Stupied, and those kids at his school will learn in time how special he is, and not having him as a friend is there loss not his....

xx cazza