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  4.41 (Worth a try) from 21 votes (236 Visits) |
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About Child Protection Workers- telling the truth |
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by iamschild  (September 2008) (rank 349th) |
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I've had several people ask me about this, and I'll be a honest, I find it exhausting.
Child protection workers are no different really from police officers, EMT/ambulance personelle, or emergency room staff. We see the worst of society, every day. It can get very dark, and it is always emotionally draining- even the good days.
Are there bad apples who lie about their clients, have their own agenda's or other wise give the rest of us bad names? Definitely. Just as there are crooked cops and incompetent emergency room staff. We are pushed to make decisions quickly to spare the families, but are closely scrutinized if we make a mistake. If we are too cautious, not only do we rip families apart needlessly, but we get flack from our bosses, our communities, our friends an dloved ones, and the media. If we're too relaxed, a kid could be hurt or worse, we could lose our jobs, and our communities, our friends and loved ones won't view us quite the same. Not to mention the media. So, we live a perpetual balancing act- do we have the evidence or don't we?
People tell me they could never do my job. People ask me how I can do my job. They are sooo glad they don't have to do it, but do these people encourage me, tell me that they appreciate me doing it so they don't have to? Not often. And I'll tell you, I can go for months or years off one little compliment, because I've learned to value it that much.
You know what's worse? when these people who supposedly think so much of you for doing your work, and are so glad they don't have to do it, turn around and get mad at you for not doing it their way. So now you know why I take the compliments with a grain of salt- the insults and criticism come so much I find the compliments are hard to believe. I find myself cautious and looking for the knife in the back....
I know someone may say that this is not advice, and I guess it isn't. But I hope it helps people to understand. I'm a human being with a job. Do you know why child protection has the highest turn over? Because they hire social workers to do it. Yup, professional bleeding hearts, intentionally chosen to do the worst job a bleeding heart could ever do- make other people hurt.
You know what gets me through- God. It's only Him who gets me through all this. It's not the compliments, it's not the satisfaction of the few successes, it's God. It's knowing that He chose me for this, and that He wouldn't have put me here if He wasn't going to get me through it. It's knowing that He put me here to protect his Innocent ones. And that He uses this broken vessel.
I don't know how others who don't have Jesus in their hearts can do this work. Someone told me that they probably have it easier, because they don't have to care. that's one take on it. All I know is that all the worker's I've met are good people in tough jobs who sometimes make mistakes. Are there bad ones, yes, there are. And I do everything I can to undo the harm they've done. I've lobbied to keep one parent on my caseload who should be transferred to a worker closer to her, why? because she's had a real hard run of it, and needs to stick with a worker she trusts. I've also lobbied to give her extensions on the time to make changes because I believe the system failed her...
I've made my own mistakes. Especially in the beginning, but even unto today, I make mistakes. I sometimes don't act when I should, or act when I shouldn't. I get tired, and bogged down and emotional, and I'm not sure how I'm going to cope. I've had times where I get so mad at my bosses for disagreeing with my big soft heart that I end up crying in my office, out of anger and frustration. I get mad when my boss, who has never done my work, tries to tell me how to do my work! I get mad when I know in my heart that a kid's not safe, but the rules (policy) stop me from doing something. I've placed kids in homes that were worse than were I took them from. I've taken kids that didn't need to be taken, and left kids that I had the evidence to remove. I learn from my mistakes, and pray that no one gets hurt while I learn. I also pray that God use my mistakes.
So, this may not be advice, but I hope that someone can learn something from my weak moment. Yes, I just got home from a long day, and am having my break down moment, when I let my hair down and the tears roll. But please understand, I'm a big softy with an aweful job. And most of my collegues are like me, to varying degrees. Sure there are some rotten ones- my first supervisor was one. He tried to proposition me, and there were rumours of him sleeping with clients then giving them their kids back.... But please, don't paint all of us with the brush he deserved.
So, would it be too much for people to not ask me about the bad ones any more? I hope I've answered the question... If you don't like the way we do our work, get your degree and come help us. We're chronically under staffed, everywhere in the world. The number of social workers world wide could double, and that might, maybe be almost enough. Maybe.
oh, one other question I'd like to answer while I'm having my weak moment- Apprehending kids isn't the worst part of my job. It is awful, it is nasty, it is horrible. But if i'm apprehending it means I can prove it in a court of law, or figure it's soo serious i need to put my reputation on the line and let a judge decide. The ones that are the hardest is when I KNOW in my heart that something is wrong, but I can't prove it.
Here's an example of my worst case scenario- I'm going to describe something to you, and you tell me what it is. It is white, and soft to touch. It has pink in places. it has small, hard, pointy white and black things. do you know what it is yet? It is an animal. It has green eyes, a pink nose, whiskers, and four paws. It has a long skinny tail, and it is female. It has short white fur. Do you know what it is yet? I know what it is- But is it really? Is it a cat or a dog? Or a ferret, or a mink? My most frustrating cases are like this- I can see it, and add it up to being a cat, but unless someone close to the situation (who can see the animal, in this case) tells me what it is, I can't do anything. Until I get that one piece that tells me it is definitely not a dog, or a ferret, or a mink, or any other animal, I can't act. Until I know that it purrs, I can't say for sure that it is a cat. Even then, are there other animals that purr? Could it be an exotic animal from somewhere I've never heard of, that can purr? Even white doesn't narrow it down, because animals can be albino. see how hard this can be? That's what a case without a disclosure is like. A disclosure is when someone actually tells us what is going on. when someone can say- yup I was there, and I saw it myself, and I saw a cat. Then I now can say it is a cat.
And worst of all, is that until I know for sure what it is, I can do nothing. That child has to stay there when my heart and my spirit tell me that the child isn't safe- all because i can't prove it. That is the worst part of my job.
So, have I helped anyone be a little more understanding? I understand how me showing up on someone's doorstep is the worst part of their day. I understand I'm on the top 5 of a parent's worst nightmares. I understand how awful it is to have me take someone's kids away, or go to court so they don't ever go home. But please, don't paint me with the same brush as the few bad apples. I believe most of my coworkers are like me, more or less.
Our work has one of the highest turn overs of any [professional profession. So most of us are newbies and beginners, and the work breaks our hearts so bad, I don't blame them for leaving. I've been the senior worker for over 4.5 years now- I've been here 6 years. it takes 2-2.5 years to really learn our work. Most leave after 18 months...
i don't want sympathy, but some compassion and understanding would be nice. I can use all the support I can get. So, if you have a bad worker, get a lawyer, prove it, and ask for a different worker. And I pray you then get one like me who'll bend over backwards to get you the chance you need to prove yourself.
I'm sorry, but the area of bad workers is not one i feel up to helping with any more than I have here in this piece of writing. I firmly believe that most of us are out there with what's best for the kids in mind. I can't talk about the things I've seen. If I could you'd understand. Read some of the stories of people who've been abused. Now imagine reading the medical reports, and interviewing them, and having to hear the gory details. And looking at the pictures, and seeing the scars, and preparing everyone for court. And praying that they'll heal, and helping those children learn how to cope. And supporting their foster parents whom their driving nuts because of the consequences of the abuse or neglect someone did to them... Three cheers to our foster parents! Hip Hurray! Hip Hurray! Hip Hurray! They're even bigger troopers than us- they get our kids at 3am and have to sit down, hear the kids story, and then help these kids rebuild their lives. And they usually don't get more money than their basic costs- at least here. They're really reimbursed volunteers, and they don't get the credit they deserve.They work even harder than we do. And we protect them from the horrors as best we can, but they have to be told everything or it's not fair to them. God bless you, foster parents!
I hope I haven't offended anyone- I just needed to talk from my heart. Thanks for listening.
I Am's child.
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4.41 (Worth a try) from 21 votes |
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Re: About Child Protection Workers- telling the truth
I watched the video.
This stuff makes me want to scream!!!! We study this in school, and this is what I work to prevent.
I've seen kids being tortured... it's the only words for it when you see physical abuse that serious... I can't talk about it, but I"ve had a case that was close to being in the media... it is going to be in medical text books. That was one of the times I went to court happy.
And people wonder how I can do my job! how could you not want to rescue those kids!
I guess the difference is that many people I talk to want to kill the parents/caregivers. Me, I just want to rescue those kids. Get them out, get them safe. Sometimes I wonder if it comes down to the difference between fight and flight. Grab the kids and run to safety? Does that fit as flight? Beat up the parents sounds like a fight responce to me!
Thanks for sharing. I've had a heavy day today. I was actually heavy enough that watching that didn't make me feel heavier. Goes to show.
God Bless and all the best.
I Am's child.
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Re: About Child Protection Workers- telling the truth
Everyone needs to vent - hehehe some of mine have been long winded on here! Feel like I am on the soap box sometimes :-)
As for peoplkes' attitudes... I don't know what publicity your system get but in Australia there have been some horrendous cases of child neglect in the past 2 years - families living in suburbia with 6, 7 or 8 kids - malnourished, unclean, houses strewn with excrement, toddlers in street in just a nappy at night. It's sad but true that it takes stories like this for "citizens" to sit up and take note and see what's right under their noses.
My parents once had a child in their care who was taken by her mother at age 4 to a government agency, dumped on them as Mum said "Take her. We are sick of her - she's a lying little bitch and we don't want her in this family anymore". TRUE! This child and at least one of her 4 sisters had been sexually abused by Mums' boyfriend (authorities think Mum knew, but turned a blind eye so as not to lose bf) and was so traumatised she was broken boyond repair. She lived with my parents for about 18 months and they just were not equipped to deal with such emotional damage. By the time she was 5 or 6 she was masturbating (in front of whoever was there, including kids) when she got angry or upset for any reason, was laying on top of the little boy who was staynig with them and trying to "sex him", and sucked her thum and fingers so badly and so hard she has changed the shape of the roof of her mouth. She would be about 18 now and I often wonder what has happened to her.
This is one of the most extreme cases I have come across but I'm sure a lot go unreported because people don't want to point the finger or get involved.
When i did daycare some tiem ago I had twins come into my care at age 11 months. I realised after a few months that they were just not like all the other kids. Their hearing seemed very poor, they just weren't "getting" what kids their age should be doing, their speech was slow.... my gut feeling told me something just wasn't right with them. When they were about 118 months old they would run to meet their Mum as she arrived int eh afternoon - obviously excited, they would jump up right inf ront of her. She would SCREAM at them to let ehr get in the door, and their little faces were so dejected. I starting watching and thought perhaps she just wasn't coping. She worked 3 days a week, also had a boy of about 12, and the twins father was married and hadn't left the wife permanently.
I reported my thoughts to the day care coordinator and said I really felt they needed some assessments and testing, and possibly intervention or special care from someone who has worked with kids like this. I was ignored and told not to worry, that they would be fine and that as I wasn't an expert I was probably wrong! but I had spent a lot of time with these kids and had other children in my care the same age, as well as having two of my own, and I just KNEW that something wasn't clicking for these boys - as did two of my friends who observed them playing and itnerracting. They stayed with me until they were about 3 and went to pre-school, but I still wonder how they are doing too. I think they would be about 8 now.
It's so sad but so true that there are a lot of kids in the world needing help and if it wasn't for people who work with them and try to help and protect them, there would be a lot more of them growing into badly damaged and possibly dangerous adults.
So remember next time you go to work you are not only helping these kids, but you are helping the community into future for a long time to come!
Sharon xx
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Re: About Child Protection Workers- telling the truth
First, I understand that you are hurt by the system, and I am sorry to hear this.
However, I feel you didn't read what I wrote. I just finished asking people not to paint us all with the same brush, but you just called us Bandits. I just finished talking about how we are under staffed and suffer from constant vacancies- including for supervisors and anyone we can ask for advice. I also just finished speaking sincerely from my heart, and you say we have a hard time being sincere. I also commented that if someone thinks they can do better, that they should get their degree and come do our work, or be quiet and glad they don't have to.
I'm sorry to reply to harshly to you, but I feel you did not hear what I said, and that you went ahead and wrote from your pain. I felt hurt, angry, and insulted by your comment, until I realised it was just your pain talking. I am sorry for your bad expereinces, but I was writing this to give insight into the pain us workers carry. I feel attacked in my vulnerability. I appreciate your pain, but this comment would have been more suitable on one of my other advices. I would have responded much better to it there.
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Re: About Child Protection Workers- telling the truth
Honey you have every right to be upset by those comments and tell someone how you feel. Remember, you will always find critics of every system put in place and that no system, no matter how well thought out and staffed, is 100% successful or foolproof.
There will always be individuals who don't do their share or perform as they should. Unfortunately, some people only see the negatives in things like this and not the positives. So, yes, there are mistakes made in child welfare systems, all over the world. But imagine how much worse the suffering could be if NONE of those children had welfare workers on their side and the abused were just left in the homes that were hurting them instead of protecting them???
Many people also don't realise that abuse comes in many forms - not just physical abuse. I find not just what adults say to kids, but the tone of voice they use to shame or halt a child in their behaviour is sometimes even worse than smacking a child who is out of line. Sadly too, many parents treat their kids differently when there are witnesses looking on, so many people have no idea what goes on inside homes because there are no outward signs to show what's happening.
It's also easy for people to criticise and add their two cents worth when they have no first hand experience with something, and are not prepared to join in and do what they can to help.
I think you handled your response to that reader/commenter intelligently - acknowledging she was speaking from her own point of view and not directing it personally at you - whilst standing up for yourself. Go girl1!
Sharon
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Re: About Child Protection Workers- telling the truth
Hi there. Yes, you are right - policies and procedures are in place but sometimes those are ineffectual.
Have you worked in this field? I feel for you.
Are you speaking from experience or based on what you see in the media?
Or were you a child involved in policy gone wrong? I feel for you.
Have you ever spoken to foster parents who have to deal with the "system"? do you realise that (in NSW anyway) they don't actually get "paid" to do this job? That many of them do this work - helping damaged, hurt and broken children out of the love in their hearts, and not for fame and glory or the monetary reward?
There are always two sides to every story, but unfortunately the positives often receive no publicity or recognition because the media like to sensationalise and dig up the dirt on what goes wrong, not what goes right? Sad but true.
My parents have been foster carers to around 90 children in 12 or so years. They have had to deal with:
- Being called through the night and asked if they can take a toddler who was found on the footpath outside its' home while the parents were inside their house drunk or stoned on something.
- Taking babies placed in their care -s traight fromt he maternity ward becasue Mum likes being pregnant but not being a mother (this has occured twice for them now).
- Caring for children who are so emotionally damaged from sexual, emotional and physical abuse that they and their case workers have wondered if they will ever be "normal" again
- having kids placed with them, then returned to the family home, only to be taken away again when the case workers realise that the leniency of the system was not in the best interests of the child
And on and on ti goes.... My parents have had two children since August 1999 when the two siblings were just 11 and 23 months old (the youngest of a family with 6 kids who have lived most of their lives in foster care) and were so worried about their futures that they applied for and were granted permanent guardianship of the children until they turn 18. No easy decision as my parents are 60+ and 70+. It was deemed unsuitable for these two children to go back to their families and new full time carers were initally sought, but after my parents met with a couple of the candidates they were horrified at what kind of life the kids might end up with so they decided (with the birth parents consent) to take them on long term. Those two kids have thrived - emotionally, academically and physically for the past 9 years and want for nothing - and are an integral part of my extended family.
Sadly success stories are not publicised and the bad ones are sensationalised, and that's the world we live in.
So please spare a thought for all the good work that is done. Sure, there are mistakes made but can you honestly say you have got through your life so far without making mistakes of any kind? Do you know any industry that has never made mistakes - be it medical, educational, automotive, production etc?
We are all human and so are the people who make the policies and mistakes in welfare industries.
There is an old wise saying - "We are all victims of victims". The cycle hasto stop somehwere and even if it takes 30 or 40 years to refine and make it foolproof, the good that it serves is so much better than ignoring what atrocities go on in some homes in seemingly civilised societies the world over.
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Re: About Child Protection Workers- telling the truth
Thanks Travellingmomma.
You've summed up my life in a reply- and you hit bang on what I deal with on a daily basis and can't say anything about. Sometimes, I can't even do anythign about it. I most definitely can't talk about it. And that makes me work hard.
Many workers say nothing about anything because they can't due to confidentiality. I can't even give examples like you do because it would be a breach to do it on soemthing searchable on the web... I can share examples, with all info removed, when I'm confident that it is private and there is no way the person could no who/what I'm talking about. In some ways, it's the silence that's so hard when people speak badly of us. We can't defend ourselves.... We can't talk about what we'd need to to prove them wrong.
I say a little more than most, but then I also look forward to the day I don't work for the government any mroe. I have a big problem with how the dept is run, with the policies, directions, money-mongering, etc that is so intrinsic to government. I got my hands slapped the other day for doing the right thing- because it could cost over 4000 dollars a year - to let kids see their grandparents... Even though all i did was open the door and the judge did the rest... and the judge complimented me for saying that if it wasn't in the order that it wouldn't happen. It bugs me that I have to get conditions put on court orders to make my bosses do the right thing- not necessarily now, as their not too bad people, but for the years ahead when the *insulting words* change the system and start money mongering again and refusing to do little extra like visits and furniture, and health covereage... all because their not bound by law to do so.
I feel like writing a letter to the judge! And maybe I will...
It's sad when I feel like I need my own lawyer to help me deal appropriately with my own employer...!
Am i jaded or just tired and frustrated? I'm not sure, but sheessh the system is aweful!
I Am's Child.
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Related keywords: caseload, child, corrupt, lying, protection, workers
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