At the start of the year my partner and i decided it would be best if we lived separately (i know its odd but he's a shift worker and it is the only thing that could (and did) save our relationship) . at first this wasn't a problem for our

two girls, they were really excited about having two houses and special sleepovers at both our places. however about the time my eldest girl turned 3 she started to get really clingy and would cry/ scream/ have a major tantrum every time she had to leave either place. we thought we had a pretty good arrangement in place, we were always 'visiting' each other (everyday would would go to each others house, regardless of wether we were picking up/dropping off the kids),  we had a pretty constant routine, we spent equal time with the kids and did things together on the weekends. it turns out that this, despite all our efforts wasn't enough to make our girl feel safe. i had a little chat with her about what made her so scared, she told me she thought that daddy/ mummy wouldn't come back. so we started up an 'insurance policy' with her. my partner and i both have pieces of jewellry or watches that we wear constantly. what we did is next time she was dropped at daddy's place i left her with my bracelet, she knows i dont go anywhere without it so she felt reassured that i was definitely coming back to get the bracelet (and therefore her). the same thing happened next time she came to mummy's, daddy left her his watch to 'look after'. now we have a special place at each of our houses that she cant mind our things in (sometimes if she's abit tired/emotional etc she wears them). since we started this insurance policy we haven't had any more tears. while we aren't exactly a 'divorced' couple (as long as both parties agreed) i thought this might be something that could help children with separated parents. anything to help a child feel reassured and safe surely can't be a bad thing...