I recently had to ask this question of myself.  I had been called to my Daughters school for an interview with her teacher and a psychotherapist to discuss what discipline actions my husband and I used at home as my daughters behaviour at shcool was totally free spirited.

I

had always thought that my husband and I ran a pretty tight ship and having our parenting under review was extremely confronting.  The teacher was saying that my 8 yr old was playing her of with myself (as I appeared to be the weaker link) .  When I asked the teacher for examples she said Sarayi would be given an instruction and decide for herself whether or not she would follow it.

the whole process got my husband and I talking about how to be a united front with our daughter and we have had tremendous success. Sarayi received an award certificate for achieving her amazing turn around.

My husband and I sat down and wrote all the things we wanted to change in her behaviour, we placed them on the fridge in clear view and together with her teacher communicated every day to stay on to her.  My daughter wanted rewards for her behavior and we decided we would not give in on anything unless she showed us a 100% turnaround a month in I can say she is a completly different child.

any questions I would be happy to help.