While it's important to make sure that there is nothing sinister behind the child's unwillingness to go home with Dad, I think you'll probably find that the little man just needs some time to adjust.

If Dad hasn't been part of his home life, and he's just been removed from Mum, then he is going to be confused, unsettled and feeling enormously insecure. Remember that, for a young child, even if Mum is somewhere along the continuum towards being a complete monster, she is still a very, very important part of their lives. Even if Dad is a great father, he's still not a "Mum" -- I suspect maybe the little guy needs a bit more 'mothering' (nurturing care) at the moment... and it sounds like you are the one that he is likely to get this from.

Are there ways you can 'overlap' his time with yourself and with his Dad? A meal or outing all together, you visiting him at home with Dad there, or having Dad spend some time with him at your home? This may help bring the sense of both places being 'family' closer together, and take away from the sense of being 'wrenched' from one home to another??

I don't know if this is legal, but given the parents track record, could you not set up nanny cam?  Or buy a portable hidden camera for your godson to see if anything fishy is going on?  It doesn't sound Kosher.  He is trying to say there is something amiss, but he doesn't know how.  Are childrens services involved.

Kind Regards

Tonya

I don't like the sound of this! I think you have to ensure that there is nothing going on that would prevent the boy from wanting to go home. Perhaps the dad is hurting him in some way or other. I would talk to the boy to make sure that this is not the case. You have already recieved some good answers to this question, particularly ones that talk about the three of you spending time together and you gradually withdrawing from the scene. But I would make sure the dad isn't harming the boy as a priority.

grannyjack

I think maybe there is some adjustment going on by both father and son.  This needs to be done together and Father needs to stop being afraid of asking for help when he feels he is out of his depth.  Children don't come with a manual and parenting is a learned thing, not something we are born with.

Them spending quality, one on one time together will help to strengthen the bond.  Maybe Father could get involved with school activities (more and more dads are these days).

They both need to talk about where Mum has gone so that Son can understand the situation even better (he is probably feeling a little abandoned) and get through it together..

Have you tried taking him to some new and interesing places together so he feels like the father is included. Don't expect instant repsone, but it could gently help him to see it is all ok.

Good Luck

I see this as a serious problem.  The boy is in transition if the Mom is now gone and things have been tense before in her relationship with the father. Do you know why he doesn't want to return home? I think you need to reassure the boy and if things do not change seek councelling . It is such a formative time for young boys and I am glad he has you to look out for him. Best of luck.