They dont stand a chance, I have the same problem in some respects.

When you in a relationship and there is children involved its difficult to seperate, but your partner doesnt deserve to have you or your children - its hard but I would get as far way from him as possible.

When your vunerable and you have him saying these things to you its very hard not to believe, but what he is saying to you is absolute rubbish. There is no chance, under any curcumstances would a judge pick a farther over a monther let alone a monster.

I wish you and your babies all the happiness in the world.

I had said I might write another advice on Domestic Violence... I have, and I'm putting the link here as I'm not sure how to add an existing advice to the links above. I will say that it is the cold hard truth of the consequences of not leaving... it doesn't seem like your likely to need the information presented as bluntly as I did in this advice, but so many do need the wake up call. Give it a read and tell me what you think.

http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/11841/Domestic-Violence-The-Cold-Hard-Facts/

been there done that..get out ..iam serious..he wont get custody trust me he is trying to scare you thats all. my ex started off like that then he ended up stabbing me ,cracking my skull open,broken my nose 3 times ,and not counting the bruising and beltings id get daily which i indured for 4 years and when he tried to burn me alive  .i had no family so your lucky you have some .he is trying to scare you thats all ,courts always give mum custody as long as your a good mum which you are .

get out before its too late ...you may think he wont do it but honey he will .

he dont care abotu your kids or he wouldent hit you in front of them .if you dont care about your life think what he is teaching your kids ,if boys he is teaching its ok to hit women if girls its ok to be hit .

i was in your place and i run away for 2 years before coming out and going for custody and i won and he sient even allowed near my son ,my son dont knwo he exists cause he was a baby when it happened.iam now happilly married with 5 kids.

you ahve family so your very lucky .

get out of there find somewhere to hide (not your family thats too easy for him to find you ) ask for help from salvos they will find you a home or go toa  hotel till you can find your bearings and streghth dont fear him fear the ripper who could knowck on your door if you dont get out .

i have numbers of people that can help you.dont stay,for your kids sake ,if not your own .

im sorry to hear your in this situation and that your kids have witnessed this

i hope you are ok and safe at this time

i have written in complete detail of how to get out

you will get the kids . dosent matter if u have money or not if they are scared of him the kids will be given to you immeadiatly . he is saying this to scare you most males in this situation threaten to keep the kids to stop you from leaving but no vcourt in there right mind would leave a child with a dangerous or violent parent .

since you have photos this will prove the fact that he is violent and you can have an instant domestic violence apprehensive violence order put in place and he can be removed from the home weather he or you own it or are renting so you have a safe place for the kids or the police can take you to a safe location

most of the detail are in my article so please please take a look i will look up numbers for you in the australia to help if you need anything send me minti mail and i will get back to as soon as possible http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/11753/How-to-escape-emotionally-abusive-partner-without-upsetting-the-kids-reply/

I will say that you have recieved some wonderful advice here. There have been lots of posts about domestic violence over the year or so I've been on Minti.. and I've noticed that the Minti parents are getting almost professional in answering your question. Goodones to you Minti Parents! You're doing awesome!

There are lots of articles here on Minti about dv, and how to get out safely. RCP-432 just wrote one, and I can't remember any more if I did or not... but if I didn't, I will.

I am a child protection worker, here in Canada, and I can say the very first thing you need to do is go to the police and have him charged. With charges against him, the judge would be exceedingly unlikely to give him custody. Judges see cases like this all the time. They know the pattern, they know what to do to stop it, and they know their sometimes they're the only way to keep kids safe. Put what's best for your kids infront of everything.

Witnessing domestic violence is harmful to children, regardless of their age. The children experience emotional harm by witnessing their mother being treated this way. It warps them in ways few other things do. And because of that, there are times when kids enter care if their primary caregiver refuses to leave. In domestic violence situations, the victim has so little power that the only power left with which to protect the child is the ability to leave. And if they don't then they have failed to protect their child. And that's when child protective services can get involved... and kids have been removed from both parents. Please, don't be alarmed by this, I say it so that you are aware, and to motivate you to continue to do the right thing. I don't think this would happen to you, based on what you've said, but I want you to know what could happen. i feel another advice coming out of this...

I Am's Child.

His mum doesn't want to lose contact with your kids often grandparents get left out and don't see their grandies. This is most likely why she wants you to bring the kids to her as well as to get them away from you. My advice is DON'T. The fact that his mum lives overseas means you may not ever get them back, if you give them to her. Very few parents get their children back when they have been taken overseas (remember the Malayasian Prince who stole his children from their mum during an access visit in Australia, she never got them back and there are many other stories). Ensure that you alert immigration and do any paper work to keep them in Australia including a court order. Check with immigration that the children do not have passports and are not on his passport. Ensure that you alert the police that he could take them overseas. This is a serious threat to you and your children. It has happenened.

Get a court order that prevents him from seeing the children without supervision. To prevent him from parental abduction.  This is one of the most prevalent forms of child abduction.

Last of all, wait till he's at work to leave, this way he won't be able to stop you. Take only the things of importantance, birth certificates, documents, pets, photos etc. On your way, stop at the bank and clear one account ( take the money), it will look really bad in court if you clear all accounts . Don't look back. If the kids ask where theyre going tell them your going on a holiday. Don't bad mouth him or say anything against him to the children. Encourage them to think of him positively. This will help you later on during the custody battle, as the court will see your effort to preserve their fathers image. Do not coax the children into say anything against him nor explain your actions to them. Simply tell them that you can no longer live with their Dad and when they are older you will explain it.

As said before, you need to go to a safe house.

My friend went through a custody battle, if you do the right thing by him, it only futhers your case and shows that you are the mature one, ready to put your children first even though it is painful. My friend never bad mouthed her partner, tried to always present a postive image of him and never coax her child into saying anything. She was reward with full custody and he was denied access. (He was emotionally and verbally abusive towards her. He even threatened her in the court waiting area, candid camera caught him out!)

If you happen to live in the Adelaide Hills or surrounding districts I can put you in touch with people who can provide you with all the things you need for a house, clothing and food hampers. They can also provide counselling and put you in touch with other services that can help you. (It's a christian organisation called New Directions Family Centre, that is run by my church, it is confidentially based and provides a number of different services and has a number of referral services at the their finger tips)

Please do not stay.

Keep in touch, Raven

He is trying to scare you into not fighting back and to make sure you stay with him. The advice that has been given is pretty spot on so all I can say is  good luck and we are thinking of you

You stand more than just a chance. I have 3 friends that have all gone through similar situations where the man has been the breadwinner, the wife the stay at home mum, and the father being hot headed and not always physically, but emotionally abusive. I feel for you as it is difficult enough to go through a seperation, but a seperation with children and you being fearful of losing your children is extremely hard. In the cases of all 3 friends, they have all won out, keeping the children on the grounds that "the father may bring in the money, but the mother has been the faces they have grown up with around them, and to disrupt them further in this already difficult time would be an injustice to them." In one of these cases, the mother had a mental illness, and won custody of her children, with the father only allowed visitation rights, another the father was awarded 2 days every fortnight, and in the last case, the father was awarded 1 week on and 2 weeks off...this was to suit his business lifestyle, and out of all of them, he did put the most effort in with his children, but was just unfortunate enough to not be in love with his wife anymore...Please keep us posted, and please keep in touch if you ever need a shoulder or an ear...

 You have been given some excellent advice here. Firstly go and report him to the police for domestic  violence, so it is on record....they can also get you in touch with a safe house and get you and your children out of that house, you and your children's safety must come first.Then apply for a RVO from the courts to keep him away from you, if he breaks that order he can then go to jail.

As for custody of your children it has nothing to do with who is the bread winner so don't let his threats scare you. 95% of the time the mother gets custody of the children unless it can be proven that she is an unfit mother and that takes a lot to do that.

Go to Centrelink they will tell you of all the entitlements you can recieve and should be able to help get you into some accomadation.

1) Report Him

2) Get into a safe House

3) Take out a RVO

4) Go and see Centrelink.

http://www.bubhub.com.au/serviceshelplinescrisis.php If you are in fear for you & your children here is a list of numbers you can call to make a move and to get help.

I wish you and your children the best of luck.

You need to report the assault, including photographing any injuries/damage immediately.

The Family Court in Australia is unlikely to award custody to a parent who has been charged with assault of the other parent or children. Also, as you are the primary caregiver you have far more chance of being awarded custody. Money is only ONE factor that is looked at and as a separated parent with full time care of the children you would be entitled to benefits as well as child support from the other parent. Will it be tough financially? Of course- a person is always going to have more money if they or their partner are working but you cannot possibly think that staying in this situation is ok. Of course your husband is going to tell you you won't get custody- it is clear from your story so far that he has spent years eroding your confidence so that you think you are worth nothing but it simply isn't true. Reach out to friends, the local Women's Refuge, Centrelink, anyone who can help, pack up the things that you and the kids need- essentials only and leave before it is too late. You and the children are in danger-we've all seem how these situations end and it is never well. Get your life back, save yourself and save your children. Please.

Good on you for finally leaving but I can't say that I'm not very annoyed that you're leaving because you've had enough rather than for your kids. Your kid's safety should be enough of a reason to get out of there. Leave him, cut contact with his mother she's most likely just trying to take the kids so you don't see them again don't trust her or any of his family. I have a feeling what she means by "taking them overseas to boarding school" is "You wont see your children again I'm being sly and attempting to take them so you wont find them." Go to a police station right now with your children and get a statement written against him for domestic violence and take photographs of your bodily injuries. If you do this, there is no way in hell the judge is going to let your hopefully soon-to-be ex husband have custody of the children. If you are living in Australia there is such thing called the single parenting payment. Get out now for your children's sake.

You definately stand a chance and you don't need to work to be keeping your kids. I am so sorry you are going through this. I was not in a situation where my ex wanted to have custody of my kids but I wasn't working and I had my kids. First things first. Get you and your kids to a safe place. I wish you the best of luck and hope that someone else can give you some really great places to go. A refuge or anything would be better then abuse. There is no excuse to this. Fight for your kids!