Hi,

I have 2 year old twins boys who can be a bit like yours.  I find that if I yell it has no impact so I do the reverse, I speak really quietly, and get them to look me in the eye, explain why I don't like the behaviour, blah blah.  This works much better than shouting and actually calms me down at the same time.

The boys weren't very good with time out until I got the old porta cot out, we don't use it as a cot, so I made that the naughty spot, they stay in there for 2 muiunutes and aren't allowed out until, the say sorry, give me a kiss and tell me why they have been put into the naughty spot, this has worked wonders for me.

I hope these couple if tips help, I also find my 2 get a bit tiresome when they are tired or bored.

Have you had his hearing tested. It is just a suggestion because if he is have trouble in this area it may be frustrating him which could be causing the problems.

If it turns out his hearing is fine then it is one less thing to deduction as a cause.

I think it is a good idea to try to look at his behavior objectively and see if you can find a pattern.  Is this a way he gets your attention?  Is he tired?  Is he hungry?  My son would become such a grouch when he was hungry but he couldn't identify that this was his problem.  I finally figured out he needed smaller, more frequent meals to keep his moods more even.  Although I am not a big James Dobson fan politically I do think his book Dare to Discipline is worth a look through.  The main message I walked away with is the idea that our kids need us to draw the lines for them - how else do they know what is right or wrong?  Those lines protect them. Running out in the back yard - good.  Running out in the street - bad.  That's an obvious one but there are so many other examples where they test us and we have to respond with love (first of course) and consistency (much harder) because that is what will help them grow into the wonderful contribution to the world they can be. 

Oh - and that taking a time out for yourself suggestion?  Golden!  Mommy breaks are critical.  Your 2 year old can definitely pick up on your stress. 

Good luck and enjoy every minute of your time with your son.  It goes too fast.

I know where you are at, I was just there myself...... when my kids are acting, and I am sitting there thinking wholly molly how am I going to fix this, I really don't know how it broke or when it broke, but wow I don't think I want to be a mum anymore.

I take a time out, and leave the kids for an afternoon (with dad) and just think about what has been going on. I can generally pin point the moment I stopped giving as much attention as I should of, or didn't realise I was so busy I was not giving all 3 of the kids what they needed at the time. I get so destracted by all the things I have to do that do not involve the kids that the poor little tykes miss out.

My world was messy a couple of weeks ago, I have a 1 year old, a 3 year old and a 5 year old. The two yongest were giving me all kinds of trouble and again as always the bad behaviour crept up and I didn't see it coming till it was out of control. I took My time out, came home and wrote a kind of roster for myself that would allow time for each of the kids on there own for at least an hour a day of complete one on one no destractions at all time.

Already my kids have turned around and are loving me again, and I am loving being with them again. Not sure if this will help but it always works for me. Kids playing up are gererally kids who are missing out on something, you just need to figure out what it

Try helping him out with your intentions. Even good old Dr Phil recommends helping your 14 year old take out the trash together if they're not listening as you need to re-build the relationship. As when you find yourself yelling, nagging, repeating yourself, smacking, after a while the child just tunes off and sometimes even disobeys you intentionally. Also if you're trying to teach him to stop hitting, being rude, yelling & screaming I would stop smacking him and yelling at him. If you do it, you're only teaching him it's okay for him.