Oh boy.  No where here do you mention how you feel about your wife???  You have heard all the practical things and good advice but then you knew that all.  Do you love her?  Do you want to make a family that works?  She should not be yelling at you or you at her.   If you care at all about this woman get quickly into talks to straighten things out before this baby comes.  Your feelings matter and this is a terrible start but if she loves you she should respond to the idea of settling your lives out.   Get busy, you have a lot of work ahead, best of luck.

Hun, I feel you I really do. I think you're being completely taken advantage of and this woman is walking all over you to the point of leaving footprints on your forehead after using you as a doormat. I think it's time to stand up to her and raise your points and if she isn't willing to invest the time and energy in to making your relationship work and become equal, then her and the kids can ship out and do whatever they like! My 2 cents.

 I hate to have to say this.  But I think you are being scammed..  Is the child that she is expecting a "surprise" pregnancy?  Or did you both plan to have a child?  You say all her money goes to college for the kids..  Is that money in a joint account that you can both access and see the money??  Or is she just setting herself up for a nest egg when she finds something better..

In my opinion a relationship works best when both partners are contributing equally..  That does not mean that you both have to put in the same amount of money or you both have to share the housework equally..  It means that their needs to be a balance..   To me it sounds as if she still has more feelings for her ex than she does for you.

Sit down with her and and either negotiate a set of living arrangements you are both happy with..

My idea of the things that need to change / happen

• Her ex is NOT to have a key
• You are NOT moving to be closer to him
• You CAN have a pet as long as that pet is child friendly
• She WILL contribute financially to the household.  Her keeping all her money and making you support everyone on just yours is not fair.  To me it sounds as if she's setting herself up to leave you high and dry at some point in time.  You could set up a joint account that needs both signatures in order to withdraw, that way you can both feel secure in the knowledge the other is not stashing money for personal use.
• You CAN put up your awards around the house..  If she doesn't like them then you may need to negotiate a room that you can display them in.  ie a study..

If she won't negotiate at all then in my opinion you need to get out of the relationship.  And when she does have the child that she is expecting..  Have DNA tests done to ensure the child is yours.  (sorry if this sounds harsh, but from the question you posed I wouldn't be surprised to find out it was the ex's)

Good luck.

I'm going to be straight to the point and not too soft about my response, sorry if it is confronting or too forward.

It appears you are being scammed.

What shouldn't be happening:

• Her Ex having a key
• Her Ex using your address as his mail address
• You getting rid of your pet because the Ex dude didn't like it (He was probably being growled at while sneaking around the house when you not there)
• You don't have to take down your military awards...you worked your butt off to earn them
• You shouldn't have to move 3 hours from your work. (No one is prepared to drive 6 hours a day to only get to and from work

What should be happening (In this order):

• Tell the woman to leave, taking all her stuff and get out.
• Change all of the locks to your house (instead of asking for keys back....you never know if copies were made!)
• Inform the postal office that any mail for the two to be held there and not delivered, because they no longer live there.
• Put up all your awards and commendations, and get a dog again.
• Order a DNA test on the baby and work out if you are the father or not.

Sometimes life throws a curve ball to us and we need to step up and knock it out of the park. In your case you have been targeted by a pair of scammers who prey on the softer, more decent people in the world. You need to take control of your life and find a decent and understanding lady who you can trust and love without the BS.

Act fast, or you will be fleeced, meaning that you will lose everything to the scam.

OMG! It seems like she is getting the best of both worlds! It seems her and her "ex" husband have a scam happening! You say you are paying for the house, but he has keys to it and she's doing everything to suit her "ex" husband! Are you sure this is your baby? Look, what you Need to do is get a DNA test when bubs is born, i think it cost around $400? That is all i can suggest, but it seems you are getting Used!!!  When she gets what she wants,  she'll leave you, take all the kids and go back to her ex. Good Luck!

Uhm, in my oppinion you are being taken advantage off. I think you have to stand up and  take back control of your life and stop the rot before it consumes you.

This is your home a place of safety, comfort and reassurance, seems you have none of that, there. No one has the right to trivialise your time in the army and you have the right to display and be proud of your awards. As for the dog, well that was down to whether the children got on with the dog or not, the ex should have no say in your day to day living, unless it adversly affects the children.

This though is between you and your partner, you have to sit down with her and tell her exactly what you feel, what you intend to do about it and ask her to make her mind up as to who she wants to be with, her ex or you. She chose to leave him and make a life with you, when is that actually going to start.

I would be insisting that the ex finds his own accomodation, does not use your address for his personal business and returns the key to you asap. You can even change the locks.

As for not allowing you to lay down boundries for the childen, well sorry this is your home too and if you are to live as a family you have to be able to act as a family and get the respect you deserve in your own home.

So he only has to make the drive twice a month, but you should commute three hours everyday!!!!!!!!!! Sorry chum, if you give in to that, you will be facing a whole heep of health troubles and more. It is not realistic. I can inderstand wanting a college fund for the kids, but at who's expense! If you have to pay for the whole sheebang then you have the right to have an oppinion of how it is spent and where you base yourself to earn it.

I think you and your partner need to see a councellor and get some real honesty and communication going. You will have to prepare yourself though for her to be so content with the set up as is, she sees no reason to fix what for her is not broken!!!!!!!!! Are you able to face the fact that you may have to get drastic and lay down ultimatums, because that just may have to happen.

Either way, I wish you all the best and hope you find a resolution for you all.

Winnie.

I would say definatly dont move explain to your partner you need to go to work and bring home enough money to support your wife and step childen as well as the baby you have on the way . If you have only $25 left at the end of paying your bills etc then on top of that you need an extra 6 hours drive in front of you what kind of life does that leave for you? what time are you going to get to spend with your new born child yet to come ? as for your army medals get themback on the wall its your home not his he has no right to tell you what you can and cannot have in your own home . I can see why you feel you are being taken advantage of you have took on his kids he should be grateful for that . As for getting his mail i would stop that too what happens when baliffs knock the door looking for him and takes all your stuff its not worth the chance just cross your address off write not known at this address and send it bk .