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Anonymous Member
  anonymous | September 2006

Helpful Children

How do I motivate my children (9 & 10) to be more helpful around the house?

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Advice List: this works for me

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traceywestaway
October 2008 | traceywestaway
Re: Helpful Children

I have two teens who are reasonably happy to help around the house WHEN ASKED. (they seem to be blind the trail of mess they leave behind in a room).

Rewards may work. - might be a special treat or pocket money

Maybe setting a roster and explaining that being part of a family means we all need to do our share to help out.

Maybe a little harmless bargaining....if you want me to let you go to your mates place tommorrow, you need to do these things first.

Parenting seems to come down to trial and error, trial a few different ideas and find out what works for you.

All the best

traceywestaway



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JeanTracy
4.00 (Good) | September 2006 | JeanTracy
Helpful Children

 Mine suggestion is similar to the fine advice above but with a twist. At my website, http://www.KidsDiscuss.com, I offer a Weekly Chore Chart  Ebooklet that is instantly downloadable.  It includes an age-appropriate chore list and 80 fun activities to share with your child. Here's how it works:

Each week your child picks out an activity to do with you like:

  • Play dress-up.
  • Design a treasure map with a treasure at the end.
  • Write  a letter with 10 reasons why your child is special.
  1. From the 80 reward activities list the ones your child wants to do with you and relate to how many chores your child completes. 
  2. List the chores to be done.
  3. Fill out the chart during  the week. At the end of the week determine the activity earned.

I recommend doing the fun bonding activity shortly after the week is over to keep your child's motivation alive.   

This method creates a loving connection between you and your child. This connection is especially important as your child  reaches  the teenage years when your influence is crucial.                              

                                                                                     



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tinker79
4.00 (Good) | September 2006 | tinker79
Helpful Children

I start with $10 in a jar, than each time my 9 yr old leaves lights on in her room, drawers open, clothes on the floor, we take a quarter away.( For each article of clothing etc.) You would be amazed how quickly she gets the hang of it. LOL  Her room is quite clean now.  For me it's amazing, I should have done this sooner.

Or you could try to make a chart with the picture of  object they want such as a new BRATZ doll.  Than add money as they do certain things for you. We set chores for each child in the house age approperiate.  For each point they get .75 cents. It's really motivated stuff for  my daughter. Also it helps with goal setting, and easy for them to accomplish.

Most times our  chore chart is full of stickers and then we have to pay up. That's the collest part  to see  kids get their awards, and how proud they are. See their faces light up and say I can do it.

For my brother(16) I take $5 away for every  10 minutes he is late. Well that changed that in a hurry after the first couple of times he was  late.( As a I was having trouble getting him home on time)

 try combining different ideas into a new chore helper

hope it helps,



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Dawn
4.00 (Good) | September 2006 | Dawn
Helpful Children
Our kids have always been tough as nails when it comes to chores! so long ago,we decided that there would be no such thing as an allowance in our home. Instead as they got older and their chores got more plentiful, we opted for the work for what you want routine. It goes a little something like this "Mom! I just have to have that new CD player cause everyone else has it"! Moms reply "ok you know the deal,complete all tasks assigned to you including homework. No whinning, no complaints, and at the end of the month if all your work has been completed properly, then we will get you one." Child  "a month!" Mom "are you complaining already?" you get my idea yes? We just thought that this method was a bit better than handing them money , andyou would be amazed at how hard they work for something that they truly want. I do however have a price limit, and they know I will not exceed it no exceptions. I am not saying that this method will work for everyone, but it did work for us.Tweens are so much fun aren't they!


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cheleinkal
5.00 (Excellent) | September 2006 | cheleinkal
Bribery
Hi, nearly every parent I have known with kids about that age have had success with personal reward charts that work like a work time sheet lol.  They can make it up themselves as a family project.  Every job is worth X amount of points....have them discuss it with you, good for developing negociating skills.  List everything you want them to do. 
Example

Make Bed= 10 Points      Put Clothes Away PROPERLY = 30 Points

Feed Dog= 15 Points      Wash Dishes= 30 Points.

They keep a daily tally, but instead of giving them a huge amount of pocket money they work like Fly Buy Points.  100 Points equals $1.00 (for example)  If they WITHOUT NAGGING or REMINDING do their jobs they get signed off by you or dad and they have a choice of certain things that they can have like a bought lunch at school (if they've done enough)  or they can save it all up for something special, BUT they don't get things bought for them when ever they want.

They learn the value of their time and effort this way, which I believe is very important.

If they don't do their jobs or you have to prompt you deduct points, Having to remind = 5 Points EACH TIME.

They will learn responsibility as well and you might go some days without having to prompts or nag, especially when they realise they do without if they dont and it's all great when they do.  Stick to it like glue.

Good Luck


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      Frontier
September 2006 | Frontier
Bribery (reward Charts)
We used these on our first child with great effect. He now gets pocket money every week for setting the table, cleaning up and other odd jobs. Now the second fella is 4 it is time to get the reward system going again and get a few more jobs done around the place.


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coey
4.00 (Good) | September 2006 | coey
Helpful Children
Make a game out of what you need them to do and they will find it fun and not as much as a chore.  I dont have children yet but this is what my friend does with her children.  Rewards also help like pocket money etc.


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