Parenting Question and Answers - a child that won't stay on task

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apwed | November 2006

a child that won't stay on task

my 11yr old son is a good kids but are major problem with him not staying on task.

he has his chores around the house but simple small chours like feeding the animals can turn into huge hassels because he can't stay on task and just get it done! five minute jobs turn into hour jobs, dishes can turn into a three hour job you have to follow him around for the whole job and constantly remind him to stay on the job until its done, when you have a five year old at home too you can't do this all the time but even staying with him can make things worse cause he still goes off task to stop and chat with you instead and your forced to follow around for half hour or so keep saying your job your job your job until its done...

they have the same problems at school ive heard for years now quite a bright intellegent child but lets himself down because wont stay on task and finish the work...

it gets so frustrating as in the end his jobs of dishes, taking out rubbish, feeding animals tidying his bedroom start when gets home from school and aren't all finished when he goes to bed at 8:30pm at night so starts all again the next day and its frustrating cause i feel so bad that his whole time home from school is doing jobs... we have tried the rewards systems the punishment systems but nothing is working...

its hard cause he says he is nothing but naughty but we say not naughty the only thing getting in trouble for is not doing jobs and if you just got in and done them they been all done in hour and you will be off having fun but nope dont work...

im worried because he only has another year and off to high school and i cant see him doing well if can't stay on task!

any advice on how to get a child to stay on task???

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	November 2006 \| sallygay

a child that won't stay on task

hi i have the same trouble with my son who is ten. he has the same trouble at school also. i have read the other comments. iwas told to have him checked for adah but did not have that. i have tried all the advice that has been written and none seems to work. if you find anything useful please let me know. i have meeting on friday with his teacher. he also goes to high school next year which worries me also. its hard because i know that he can do it all he just says that he finds it boring.when he does do his homework he flies throgh it.

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	November 2006 \| zj

a child that won't stay on task

I hate to be bias but is that an 11 year old thing or a male thing - he sounds just like my husband!

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	November 2006 \| Dawn

a child that won't stay on task

I would suggest, thatyou ask your son's school to test him for ADHD. Child who have this are usually very brillant, but cannot concentrate on a simple task without being instructed over and over again, it is also background noises that they cannot filter out thereby diverting their attention and making their minds wander. I speak to you from personal experience as my 11 yr old son has the same problem, and although it is frustrating it is treatable. Mind you, I am NOT say ing that your son has this, I am suggesting that you consult your doctor and have testing done through him as well as his school. If this is frustrating you think of how it must be for him! Good luck and keep me posted

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	November 2006 \| elizabeth

a child that won't stay on task

Is that true attention defecit hyperactive disorder. My understanding of this now very common condition is that with the hyperactivity, the kids can not keep still and are very diruptive. With true ADHD there is a chemical imbalance in the brain. I hope your son is doing well now.

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	November 2006 \| BecB

a child that won't stay on task

I have found with my two girls if I offer a reward like when we get all the jobs done we will go to the park or beach even just going for a walk works You just need to find out what he likes to do and work it into a reward for good behavior and make sure you tell him and anyone around what a great job he's doing or done will help alot I mean we all like to be praised for our work I hope that helps

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	November 2006 \| cheleinkal

a child that won't stay on task

Have you tried timing hm using pehaps an egg timer. He has to try and beat the timer. Maybe he just needs to feel more challenged.

Has he been checked out for attention defficite dissorder?? Omega 3 fish oil is supposed to be good for that.

He may also have any number of food allergies as the symptoms of such allergies are many and varied, lack of concentration being rather a common one.

I suggest you take him to a dietician specialising in diagnosis of allergies or a naturapath if you want to check out this avenue.

In the mean time I wish you the best of luck and strength of perseverance.

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	November 2006 \| elizabeth

a child that won't stay on task

This sounds like my daughter. A change in diet, a timetable and encouraging her to be self motivated seems to have worked. Her homework timetable is divided into half hour slots. What she doesn't finish in that half hour she has to leave for the next day. If she still has not completed her homework by the weekend, she has to spend time on that before doing what she wants to do. It has been remarkable how well this has worked. Also excluding junk food, or junky snacks from her daily menu has improved her general demeanour and even the teacher has noticed that she doesn't daydream as much. She also has affirmations on her desk that she changes about once a month. With chores, I suggest that for a little while, maybe reduce what he needs to do, just until he does that chore well and within an exceptable time frame. It may be unfair to other family members and you, but I think it would help. With my daughter's room, I have told her that as long as there aren't clothes on the floor, I am not too concerned as long as Sunday evening, her room is ready for a good week at school.

Also, ask your son what he wants help with and how he thinks he can be helped to move quicker. When I asked my daughter this question, she stated that she didn't want me to tell her to hurry up any more, to just ask her or tell her that she needs to move a bit quicker. I hope some of this helps. What ever you do, you need to be consistent, and it will take some time to see soem improvement. There is also some advice on homework issues here in minti. I can't work out how to place the link for it though.

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	November 2006 \| elizabeth

a child that won't stay on task

I worked it out. I found this advice to be very useful too.

http://www.minti.com/parenting-advice/1751/Homework-Hell-7-Tips-for-Getting-Back-on-Track/

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