give them flavoured milk, ppl say it's not good but there's nothing really wrong with mark except his tantrums plus he loves choccy milk it put's him out like a light bulb at night.

i am now just going in and just rubing on her tummy and saying sshhh.it worked a little bit.so i will try all of your ideas.

both my sons done the same but from birth my eldest even broke the metal bars on his cot at 8 months trying to get out i ended up buying a single bed for him one that is low to the floor and had safety rails and from that day he has never woke through the night, but my youngest son has never slept in his cot (his father spent so much time restoring it too.) but due to have so many kids and not a very big house i don't have the room for a bed but we are get extensions soon and he will be going into a bed as soon as we do, but he sleeps in my bed ( his poor father gets to sleep on the couch) and i have got him to a point where i can tell him it is time for bed he will go and lay down i will go in give him a kiss and he will go to sleep and he sleeps all night.

My daughter used to cry at bedtime.  Controlled crying at 12 months didn't work - she climbed out of the cot and fell onto the floor.  What worked for us was staying in the room with her.  By moving the chair gradually towards, and then outside, the door, within a couple of weeks she was going to sleep by herself, knowing that she only had to call out if she needed us.

One of my children was a crier at bedtime, I came across someone who told me to buy some aniseed in the seed form make a small pot of it like tea , after about a week he started to sleep through, you can only try but be persistent so that they know it's that or nothing.

Well, at that age, DD slept with us, but I guess most people don't want to hear that.  I never had to hear her wail in despair and everyone gets a great night's sleep.

If it is really getting to you - leave the room!  Maybe get someone in to help you or take a break yourself as it really can get to you and the more stressed you are the more stressed they are - you don't want to get to breaking point!

Doesn't it just drive you to despair!!? 

My son was the same at 6 months and I used to rock him to sleep - just being there was enough for him.  In the end I had so much pressure from others I caved in and did controlled comforting with him - leaving him for a few minutes then coming back & comforting until they are quiet - then leaving again.  I hated doing it but eventually it worked.  It somehow just felt wrong though. 

I've just been reading "The science of parenting" which goes into the effect on the brain of crying.  It suggests the following for comforting: physical contact (cuddles, lying with them), talking through the day (bit hard in one so young), basically reassuring them and avoiding fear factors - eg do they need a nightlight? The other major thing is your own response - they are very sensitive, so if you are getting stressed you need to think calm thoughts, deep breathing and gentle touch to reassure them. Other tips include reading (see my page on how to!), dim lights and soft music.  I have also read that protein before bed can  put them on alert as does chocolate.

I don't know if any of this is helpful - there is so much out there on sleeping but you need to find what works for you and what you feel comfortable with.
Good luck!  Let us know how you go!

I have found with Jacob that just having me sit in the room with im will send him off to sleep, i have started just sittin gon the rocking chair in his room, i do not make eye contact with him and if he is laying there happily i will leave the room. If he starts crying i wait a little while before going back in.

When i go back in i just lay him down and then go sit on the chair until he stops crying and when he does i leave again. he is learning slowly to put himself to sleep and when he wakes in the middle of the night, i do the same thing, i just lay him down sit on the chair til he stops crying then leave.

It is working for me

I can feel your frustration and I can understand it too. All I can say is routine rountine routine. Set a rountine that you can stick to easily and slowly bring your toddler around to this way. After dinner a warm bath then dressed for bed. A bit of cuddle time and maybe a book to read always helps. Stay away from the noisy kinda excited play before bed. when you put your bubba to bed explain that it is time to sleep. If still crying in 5 mins go in and gently reassure bubba that your still around and you will see them in the morning. Go in again after 10 mins and do the same thing. Stay calm and try not to yell eventho it is so tempting!! rest assured that eventually your bubba will make themselves so tired they will fall asleep and the next night after that may be the same. Eventually it does get easier and once your little person understands that you are still there when they wake up in the morning it gets easier and the routine is set. My daughter was shocking but the longest she cried was 2 hours. Take yourself out of hearing for the minutes in between. They are safe in their bed so nothing can happen. Most of all - its not just you this happens to and there are parents all over world pullingout their hair trying to get their little ones to sleep. Hang in there - the rountine will take hold - BE STRONG and resist temptation to pick them up and cuddle. Good luck my friend

oh you poor luv... assuming there's nothing physically wrong, it's time to implement a bed time routine... if there's one thing kids respond to, and need, it's routine.

start with a bedtime routine. after bubs has had dinner, it's bath time & into jarmies. maybe a little 10 minute playtime, and then a bedtime story. another thing you could add in is after bath, a nice baby massage. it helps relax bubs and only needs to take a few minutes. it also becomes a nice thing that is associated with bedtime.

if bubs continues to cry after the routine, wait for 5 minutes, then go into the room, give bubs a gentle pat, soothe them, but don't share your frustration (that just helps escalate matters!)... walk out again. if bubs continues to cry, wait 10 minutes, and then go back in, soothe, and go out. rinse, repeat, as need be.

another option is to get some soft music that will help bubs be soothed - gentle classical music is good, or nature sounds - the ocean, birds - you can pick up really cheap (like $2!!) cds that can be used for this (often meditation type cds). it then takes on part of the sleeptime landscape.

if the controlled comforting/crying doesn't work, you could seek further advice from your GP or mothercraft nurse. if it's majorly serious, a sleep clinic may be your next point of call.

the thing to remember is, bubs is now getting older, is awake for longer, and is more aware of the world. it could be an attachment issue to mum & dad that is causing the distress, or bubs could be just testing out new boundaries (probably of your patience!)

hang in there - you will get past this obstacle.
i'll never forget my DS - at 14 months old he flat out refused to go to bed during the day saying "no more sleeps mummy".... argh! in the end, we'd tire him out as best we could, and some days he'd just crash wherever he was. you could always try the good old popping bubs into the car & driving til bubs nods off!

hope that helps a bit!