Yes, you are definately leading him down a bad path! Your baby needs to learn to go to sleep without going for car rides or anything else.

He cries 20 - 40 minutes if you put him to bed? That's not so bad. Let him cry - it won't hurt him! You can try going in after 10 mintues, then 15 minutes, etc, or just let him be. Really, crying does not hurt babies, it's just frustrating for the parents, but if you perservere he will soon learn to go to sleep in his cot.

i agree with the other members on this one--it's easier to get him to go to sleep in the car, but i've never known anyone who found that it was a good longterm solution.  it could be the white noise of the the car that's helping him--in that case it might be a good idea to invest in a cheap white noise machine to help muffle outside noise.  good luck!

When you fall asleep, do you read, have the radio on, a light on the landing, a hot drink or do you require total darkness and silence?  Do you have a routine of waking to go to the toilet at a particular time? Do you need one pillow or two...or none???? Have you ever gone to sleep cosy and warm and woken shivering because your quilt has slipped off? All of these are 'conditions for sleep'. The body recognises when these are in place and knows it is 'safe' to sleep. As we go through the sleep cycle and surface to consciouness several time a night, our body does a quick 'check' on 'conditions' to ensure it is still 'safe' to sleep. That's why it is irritating and frustrating when our conditions of sleep are altered such as when we are staying at a friend's house and sleep in their study with their computer humming and blinking all night. :-D Your body does not recognise its 'safe' conditions and it becomes difficult to get to sleep.

The same goes for babies/children. The fact that the car rides are becoming more frequent answers your question. Your son is beginning to require the car ride as one of his 'conditions for sleep'. Does he wake through the night too? You're lucky if he doesn't because before long he may need the car ride in the middle of the night ot help him get BACK to sleep.

My friend couldn't understand why her baby went to sleep beautifully then woke as soon as she and her husband had gone to bed and would not settle. When we went through the 'conditions for sleep' she realised he went to sleep with the landing light on and after they went to bed they turned the light off. As a result, he surfaced from sleep (as you do several times a night) to check his 'conditions' found they had changed and became more awake.

It will take, as others have said, 3-4 nights of persistance and minimal sleep for you to break your son's established sleep patterns. Follow all the excellent advice here, particularly the advice on controlled crying and keep a sleep journal so you can sanely and logically document how things are going. Its helpful to look back through and start to see patterns of 'conditions'.

Good luck with it!

 

Try the pram. Maybe go for a walk or just bounce the pram around the house. Make car noises or record the sound of the car to play while he is trying to nap. Then you can gradually reduce the time in the pram eventually just putting him straight into his cot, gently rocking the cot. Then you can reduce the amount of time you rock the cot and eventually he will learn to put himself to sleep.
Also, I think someone else said that if you are going to try controlled crying, you need to do it for about three to four days. It does work but you need to be consistent and it is tough to listen to your baby cry. There are so many methods so be careful to choose one that doesn't allow the baby to cry for too long without being comforted(this is usually by voice alone).

I think the sooner you stop with the car ride, the better. It poses a lot of hassles, as in you have to buckle your child in and if it's cold, you'll have to bundle him up and unbundle him when you get home. Plus, when he outgrows the infant carseat, you will no longer be able to transfer him in and out of the car without waking him.

Also, it seems like 12 - 14 months seem to be the magic age when it comes to "spoiling" your child. If you have a "bad" habit past this age, your child will start to expect things and actually ask for it. At least this has been my experience.

You will have to contend with a lot of crying, but it won't be forever. My routine for getting my son to sleep for the first 12 months of his life is to bounce and rock and move like a mad woman. It was exhausting. But at 12 months, I started changing things a bit and it's a lot better now - no more mad woman movements!

Hello there,How old is your son????he sounds quite young.....My hubby and I started this with Breanna from the get go.....what a night mare,I don't know about  other parents,but this created a big problem,as in the end she wouldn't sleep unless we took her in the car.....very hard to get out ofYour local child clinic should have a dvd on sleep techniques,mine did and it helped no end,We found after a couple of weeks of a consistant routine utilising a technique that seemed right for her from the dvd,she was far more settled and prone to sleep.I think as a rare solution it is fine though u know a drive every so often.Breanna was a very colicy baby unfortunately  Why we liked the dvd was because it showed you how to be consistant with a selected technique.See for us, at the time were stressed out due to lack of sleep ourselves and thus not very good at utilising verbal  advice We didn't have access to the net at the time either.Hope this helps a little regards Merle

I totally understand why you do it (I have a 3 year old who won't nap unless it's in the car-arg!) but you're putting off the inevitable. He'll need to put himself to sleep eventually so, you're not doing anyone any favors by getting into this unhealthy sleep routine. First though, I must ask how old your son is. It plays an important part in the when to follow through with the techniques in teaching him to self-soothe.

You said it's about a 20-40 minute crying jag when you put him down while he's awake? How long have you tried to do this consistantly? I found it only took 3-5 days of crying when I used this method for my daughters before they stopped crying. The key is consistancy. Sure you can get him sleepy (with a warm bath or rocking or nursing, whatever) but it's really important to put him down before he's out cold. I think (if I can remember back) it was at about 7 months or 8 months when we did it with our girls. And it wasn't easy. Lucky for me, my husband is stronger than I. He would literally make me leave the house when they started getting hysterical because I would always cave in. HOWEVER, in hindsight, I am so thankful we went through a few really tough days because now, our girls go to bed at bedtime, in their own beds, most nights with little or no trouble. It's totally worth the effort. TOTALLY!

I recently wrote a book review on a great sleep solutions book. THIS BOOK will tell you everything you want to know about sleep and more. It's a fantastic tool.

Good luck. And remember if you can teach him good sleep habits now, he'll have them always. And that's a good thing!