As a bloke working 3 jobs and supporting 3 step kids I can understand his feelings. He is resentful. He sees weekend with you and the kid/s as work too. He gives his all and more in the working week and wants some time on the weekend for himself. You have had some great advice to date. Heed it.

Spend some alone time with your man on the weekend. Hopefully you can arrange it and do let him spend some of his own time to regroup for the busy week ahead. He'll come around if you're upfront with him and he with you.

I understand what u r going threw by experience from a past relashion. Be ur own private eye and don't ask him about the phonenumber. He will just get mad and realize that u r suspicious. He will just be more careful after and it will be harder to find out. Check is cell phone to see if that number is on there and how many time he called it or how many calls he received from it. If he has change is way of taking care of his look better or his clothing better keep an eye open. I know it sounds funny but those are usually something they do when they see someone else. I don't mean to freak u out but if he is u don't deserve that with everything else going on in ur life. I hope ur mom will be ok and try not to stress urself to much. Just follow ur heart and don't let him talk u down. There is a lot of women in ur position and there is nothing to be ashame off. If something is going on it is not because of u it is him that as the problem. Just keep a eye open. Good luck.

I know he works a lot but why do so much, does he have a choice? ask him gently what does he want of ur couple, ask him if it is possible to be able to put everything on the open and try to organize it better so that u have more time together. ask him if there is something u can do to make his life better and so this way u will have some time together. Don't get mad when u talk to him, it will just give him a reason to walk away. Just be calm and ask him questions about ur relashionship.Take care.

Try not to stress over your mum's lumps, I know it will be hard, but she will find out soon enough, and stressing will not help either of you.  I will keep my fingers crossed.. xxxxxxx

As for your husband, what is this new business he started up that takes him away on the weekends???

Here is what I would do so it is only an opinion....

A marriage is a two way partnership. If one is not working well the other can not either. Partners need to comunicate to make it work. 

 If I was to find a number in my husbands wallet I'd have to ask him about it, because I would worry myself sick thinking about it every time he went away for a business trip or just out to dinner.   I would have to ask him no matter what the outcome maybe, because I could not live with someone who would sink so low as to abuse my love, trust and respect.  

I have had this conversation with my husband before as we knew someone close who cheated on their partner, and we both agreed that if someone was able to put themselves in a position where they would either get a number or actually sleep with someone else, they should seriously re-evaluate the relationship. Because there must be a reason for one to get to where the point of crossing the line.  Once the line is crossed, the respect and trust is gone.  The love may be there, but it is not the same.

So go ahead ask the question about the phone number.  By the reaction you may get, you will either find that it was something as simple as a work contact, or it may be something more serious.  Then ask yourself if it is something more serious are you able to live with someone you can no longer trust, and more importantly,  will you and your son be happy. 

Remember if you are not happy the children pick up on these things.

Good luck, and hugs to your mother...

I really wish I could give you a better answer.....

Gday hun,

You must be worried sick. Im sure there is a perfectly good reason for your hubby having a number fall out of his wallet, but if youre concerned, just say something like 'who's >insert name here<' and see what he says. say it gently, without any agression in your voice, as if you say it nastily he might take it the wrong way and clam up and make it all sound worse than it really is.

i have just started a new group that you might like to join, its for us parents who just need to get something off our chests, its like an e-friend who's shoulder you can cry on. i started this group because sometimes theres things you just cant open up about to your nearest and dearest,  for fear that they will judge you, or you will hurt them, so this group is really just a place to let it all out so that you dont snap at your family, and therefore make your family life a little less stressful. other members can comment and give you some non-judgemental advice too. just click here http://ask-mony.minti.com/ and i hope you start feeling a little better soon. (hugs)

you poor thing, firstly your mum will know exactly what is going on when she gets the scan done,so try and hang in there in the mean time, and you can talk and open up a bout it to your mum. she will appreciate it, and probably feel she can talk to you more about it. hang in there.

As for your husband he sounds exhausted. working to jobs can really take it out of a person. it sounds like you both need a weekend on your own together. don't be scared to open up to him about it, if you are really worried about the number and the way he spoke to you, sit him down and calmly talk to him about it. if he starts to rant and rave, calm him down and explain to him how you are feeling, if he puts himself in your shoes for a second he might understand where you are coming from. let it all out because its not good bottliing everything up. remember you can tell your partner anything. obviously he loves you and your son alot, he is working two jobs and building a house for you guys. so i'm sure he will understand. and if you can try and do something for a weekend just the two of you, so you can both relax and find yourselves again.

You are dealing with a lot and I think you need to take a minute to catch you breath. Support mum as best you can, I know you are worried remember that you are allowed to show your emotions.

Hubby is working to much, a house is not worth destroying your relationship over. However I know that the security it represents is a huge factor, so if you decide to continue down this path you need to make sure that your hubby feels loved and supported for his efforts. People feel love in different ways it may help to read The Five Love Languages ISBN 1876825545.

However, I feel you have a bigger issue and thats one of communication, yes he's tired...exhausted and you have a lot on your plate as well so when are you talking? and when you are are you listening and are you hearing what the other person is saying.

I think you should sit down when you're both rested and openly discuss your concerns, thoughts and make a plan as to how you can manage it. If you dont feel you can do that the I would suggest Relationships Australia, with the aim that you both get some assistance with communication between each other, if he wont attend then go yourself...someone has to make a start here.

My best wishes for you all.

 

First of all you will know about your Mom when shegoes for tests, and you will worry, until you find out the results, but be positive, and try not to think the worst! Your husband is carrying alot on his shoulders right now, and with 2 full time jobs, plus starting his own business, and trying to finish your house as well as living at your Mom's house, that is a lot to bear for anyone! As a women married for 25 years to a man who works like crazy, alot of times for women who are very demanding, I can understand where he is coming from. Perhaps the phone number you found is a client, don't read alot into things that may be innocent! With all the responsibilities that he has, perhaps his little blow-up was just a way to let off some steam. As to your love life, he may be just to tired, and perhaps it is YOU his is dreaming about! TALK TO HIM! That is the only way yo will ever know.

Those working hours are horrendous- id imagine he is exhausted and is feeling trapped in this endless cycle- perhaps he feels resentful and doesnt know how to get out of it all.

Meanwhile you are trying to look after your little boy and worrying about your relationship and now your Mum as well- you must feel totally drained and there is so much on your plate right now! Your Mum is doing the right thing by having a scan so wait and see what that brings. Please dont feel you have to 'be strong' and 'show no emotion' show your love, concern and affection, its ok and your Mum will appreciate it im sure xox

From my experience I think the dreaming thing is pretty common - I guess when they are asleep that deals with the problem of being tired, haha.

We did go through a similar thing and personally we found counselling helped. I wrote an article about it....
www.minti.com/parenting-advice/2281/Depression-and-Counselling/

Good luck

Hellooo there,You both just sound absolutely exhausted to me!!!!!This  is no excuse for nasty behaviour just an observation on my part!!! Try and  have a discussion with him when he seems in a good frame of mind.Let him know how you feel and encourage him to tell you his feelings and expectations.Try looking at his dreams in a positive light eg;that he is thinking of you(bet he is)why not surprise him and reciprocate his advancesIf he wasn't thinking of you he soon will be heh heh heh.Put the number in the back of your mind for now!!!!go into some damage control for your relationship and see what happens.Your Mum's lumps have every chance of being beniegn,try not to worry take one day at a time and remember you most deffinately not alone you have all of us to help and be there for you.Let us know how you get on take care regards Merle

hi ,

i understand that your husband is working hard for his family but you need to get more respect too, as a stay at home mum is working 24/7. he will be tired an cranky and may not want to deal with family life sometimes but what about time out for you or when was the last time you both went out together alone.

it is serious relationship fixing time before you both drift apart.

if he loves you and really wants things to work he will give you a night a month even for just you both to talk about things.he may be feeling a little jealous of the attention the baby gets and your mum is getting because of the health scare, so make sure you stroke his ego more to reassure him that he is doing a great job and that you love and miss him,

Another problem for him will be the fact that you are staying at your mums place, i stayed at my boyfriends mums place for 10 months for financial reasons and it was a nightmare, i ended seriously disliking a woman i used to like beacause she was always there interferring with our lives. my man and i fought all the time because of the lack of privacy, have you talked to him seriously about how he feels about the living arrangments or how he is coping.

then you need to discuss about this phone number thing, i personally would go ballistic and would ring the number and ask who it was etc.if you feel at all that he is seeing this other woman or is about to see her then follow your instincts and check into it, dont be caught by ignoring it and having him betray you. It is  very emotional situation you have with your husband and living arrangements and the lumps.

my mother had a breast lump removed 5 years ago and now has two more to be removed and luckily they were just fatty material. if the lumps are painful and movable then they usually say these are non cancerous and can be removed with no ill affect.

hang in there and write a list of all your worries . then work your way down the list to clear it, including chats with your husband. good luck and remember you need time too.

Hi, regarding your relationship with your husband, I don't know much about your husband character, but have you try to have a talk with him in a right time (I mean, when he is not overly tired/stress from his works). Does he works 5 days a week (plus those second job also 5 days a week?)? Sometime when my husband did the 7 days work, I might let him regain his energy by not asking too much about spending time with us, but after he did got his energy back or when the situation a bit better, i would ask him whether he would take day off to fill those times we missed to be together. Luckily, so far he would understand and will take some days off.
Regarding your bed business, well if you feel worry, have a talk with him. But if you still enjoy what you have, just leave as it is. But I always believe we as woman also have a right to say 'no' if we don't want to. Bed business is not a one person need. It needs two people to do it in loving and caring. Good luck, I hope you could find the right time and the right words when to talk with your husband.

Not all breast lumps are bad news! I found some lumps a few years ago and had to have them checked - fine needle aspiration under an ultrasound - they were nothing to worry about.
I am not sure about the statistics of how many lumps are of concern. It is good that your mum is getting them checked but please don't worry just yet. they may be nothing to worry about