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pdubble2 | December 2006


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My kid wont read

I have a 8 year old that wont read and i am worried people are starting to think she is stupid. her report card sucks big time and even wen i showed it to her she didnt care. i told ehr that she wont ammount to anything wen she growns up if she cant read and she still doest care. what can i do to make her

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	4.00 (Good) \| December 2006 \| mimmie

My kid wont read

First, telling your daughter that she won't amount to anything when she grows up is the wrong approach. That is such negative talk. You need to gain your daughters trust first. Now that might sound silly because your her mother, but believe me if you are saying comments like the above, then you need to back to the basics. 1. Do you know what sort of things your daughter likes, dolls, animals etc. If not just ask her. Then you need to show her material on that subject, spark her interest. This may help her reading. I mean think about it.

Do you read anything that you don't like or have a interest it. I have son - who is now 18, but has a similar problem with him. He did not like to read at school - books, hated it. But when he was allowed to read material on cars, motor bikes, trucks, wow - the difference was amazing. Hope this suggestion hlps. I would like to hear back from you with regards to your daughter. Good luck - and enjoy the holiday season.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2006 \| blackwidowkate

My kid wont read

Hi,
My son has always had a problem reading and he graduated year 7 last year with a lot of difficulties as they had put him in the too hard basket and pushed him through
Regardless of how much involvement we had with the school they always put the blame back on him
He finally found a book series that he enjoys.....and guess what he can read if he wants to ...he just couldn't find anything HE wanted to read
His year 7 net test put him so far off the scale that he should not have graduated year 1
We have since found out that he has aspergis and there is a genuine reason why he wont do stuff
We thought he was lazy so did his teachers
We encouraged him but you can only do that for so long
My younger brother left high school and began working in year 9
Eventually he got a job with a lot of time on his hands working as a car park attendant/security guard and had nothing to do all day
Guess what he remembered the basics taught himself to read and now reads very well.....Had to be on his terms...our sons paediatrician has said that aspergis is hereditary and he may have it as well.
My cousin was told he was stupid all his life so he believed it and once he left home he got a job in the merchant navy and learned he wasn't stupid so he stopped acting that way....He rose through the ranks to pretty much the top he was actually very intelligent.....shame his family treated him the way they did...
Children believe what they are told.......
I know we say things in frustrated anger hug your daughter tell her how good she is and work with her
That said if you are like me and don't have the patience to teach her find someone who can
Do you have problems reading and writing and spelling like s lot of us...She may be the same... i love my spell check
Just a small thought.congrats on coming forward and asking for help
remember some of the worlds best inventors couldn't read or write but look at what we have now
Luv Deb

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	3.92 (Good) \| December 2006 \| Dawn

My kid wont read

When a child is having a problem as severe as not being able to read, the very last thing she needs is her parent berating, and threating her! she looks to you for support, and perhaps she is a bit afraid to tell you why she is not reading! Have you had her eyes checked? Perhaps she needs glasses. Have you spoken to her teacher to find out if he/she is doing anything to aid her. Are you doing anything to help her with her reading? Do you spend time reading to her or with her each night? 15 minutes a night can make a very big difference! You say she won't read, perhaps she can't read because she has never been taught how! I would suggest that you look into what the school is doing as soon as possible, and start reading to her yourself. If you want her to amount to anything, then put the time and effort into making your daughter the person that you want her to be!

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	4.46 (Good) \| December 2006 \| jenlemen

My kid wont read

sorry this has been a hard time. it's very frustrating when we want so badly for our children to succeed and they don't seem to be responding to our prodding. i agree with the others that encouragement and support can be very effective, and that your daughter might have an underlying reason for not reading that once resolved will put everything into place. but maybe before any of that can be addressed, you need some time and space for your worry and your fear that she won't do well in the future. these are real concerns we all face as parents and i find that when we really allow ourselves to feel how scary the whole thing is, we can go back to the problem in a more even-handed manner. the key is to do our own work before revisiting the subject with our kids. this is hard for me, but when i can do my work first, it always goes better. if i don't, then my kids pick up on my fear and they can feel even more strongly that they are not capable of doing well--which compounds the problem.

good luck with your daughter. i hope you find the encouragement you need as well as the release of your very understandable concerns about the future.

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	4.00 (Good) \| December 2006 \| lucky321

My kid wont read

I found that my oldest boy of ten had problems reading books ,he wouldnt go need them unless i was reading them to him.He reading classes at school but still slow. ask about all driffrents ways to teach him . I ask to move to the frontof the class room so he would fouse more on his work.Anyway after three years in school i had repeat year three .His teacher ask me one day had i had his eyes tested i said yes .THe teacher to me go again to get them check, it turn out he needed glasses i was quite surprise by this as i said i had them chek before .Know he he has his glasses he going ready strong now with school work and reading ,so maybe if you get your child check out even if you done so ,as you can see the test said no and the sceond time he neede them

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2006 \| nell18-3

My kid wont read

I do hours in my local primary school listening to the children do their reading and we have the odd child who won't read, Generally this is because they have never seen the point. they do not get the whole concept of reading. What I have to do is spend time chatting to the child, find out their interests, from there I get a sense of what kind of imagination they have, we then find a book which I think would appeal. We read the first page together, then close the book and discuss what the child thinks is likely to happen, how is the story likely to develop etc, we then read the second page and see how many of our theories are unfolding. Children mostly love reading when taught how to enjoy a book. I have had no child yet who does not then enjoy reading, it is just a matter of capturing their imagination and making reading fun. 8 year olds are the most common group this actually works on

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	December 2006 \| breannababy

My kid wont read

Well put Nelly,how are you by the way?

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	4.30 (Good) \| December 2006 \| bellachell

My kid wont read

I agree with all the advice written here, also 8 isn't that old she has plenty of time to catch up and enjoy reading. my son is 7 and he likes reading. that's not to say he's good at it yet lol but we encourage him to work words out himself by giving him material that he will enjoy. the more pressure you put on your daughter the less cooperative she will be so maybe give her a break and concentrate on something she is good at for now.

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	4.26 (Good) \| December 2006 \| mandymum3

My kid wont read

Dont tell her she wont amount to anything. Thats mean coming from the one person who is too love her unconditionaly. Im sure you dont mean it and only want the best for her, but she needs encoragment for every tiny step she makes, tell her she is fantastic and is doing a great job of reading, get her a tutorer, if you cant afford one put an add for someone willing to teach her at an affordable cost.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2006 \| breannababy

My kid wont read

Helloooo there

Firstly good on you for asking for advice on how to help your daughter,it is very frustrating when we are looking on the side lines and our children are not seeming to care about the important stuff in their lives.......Do you think she may have a reason for her lack of interest?I mean a valid one.She may have problems with school in general,be it with teachers or class mates.I agree with some of the others,she may need eye or ear or any other tests.Have you spoken to her teachers?Is she having a lack of interest in any other facets of her life?Does she like sport or have any other interests?If you would like my help further just email me through minti mail and I will help any way I can.good luck regards Merle

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2006 \| yasmin78

My kid wont read

My sister's son had big problems with reading, but he is gifted with great artistic ability. She had to take him to do various literacy and eyesight tests and found out he has dyslexia. Now the school can help him by modifying his exams so that he has enough time to understand and complete them, and setting tasks that consider his learning disability. He is a happier student and his grades have improved immensely. Telling your daughter she won't amount to anything is damaging her self esteem. Encourage any talents she does have and make sure she gets the assistance she needs in areas that are a struggle.

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	3.00 (Average) \| December 2006 \| angi

My kid wont read

My daughter has just turned 8 in October. I am going through exactly the same thing. Her report card was disgraceful, her spelling and numbers are going backwards. The other day she couldn't even spell her last name!! I have had exactly the same conversation with her that you have seem to had with your daughter and i got exactly the same reply.. I am sorry i can't really give you much advice but i cann let you know you are not alone and i would love to chat with you sometime about it. Angie

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2006 \| craftymum

My kid wont read

My nine year has struggled with reading hes has some minor eye problems that where fixed by seeing the optomerist and now am going to get his hearing checked as that could be a factor - all these things need to be considered - but in doing all this he came hme from the library the other day with the first book he has ever sat down and read other than those he has to for homework - not just lookedat the pictures - Captain Underpants so maybe its just no book has really caught her interest yet - when one does and it may take awhile things may change - in the mean time look for things she relly interested in and encourage her with those and try getting books that follow that interest- hope this helps I know how frustrating it can be I have one both ends of the scale my 10 year is well above her age with reading while her brother struggles - and yes it can be frustrating - but please try and look for the positive in your daughter and encourage that - I was told often as a kid I would never amount to anything - so I believed it up til 2 years ago - even with a successful career in Sydney - I still felt useless - and have paid for those beliefs 100 fold in the past 15 years in my marriage - nearing 50 I can finally admit I am ok and am not as useless as everyone had lead me to believe I stll have along way to go but each day I get better so please I am not critizing you just trying to help

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	4.00 (Good) \| December 2006 \| monyq83

My kid wont read

Does your child like playing computer games? If so there are a number of inexpensive games on the market that can help teach your child to read. Also buying her educational dvds are a big help. Im not saying that having her sit in front of a square box all day is the answer, but if she doesnt like to learn from traditional books, this may be a start.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| December 2006 \| OzBinky

You may like to check this out...

If you would like to check this post out which was written by kseers and maybe this one from mumtobekim it may help you out. Please remember that these have been considered, by many, to be excellent advice and were written to help others.

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	4.00 (Good) \| December 2006 \| cazza

My kid wont read

I would like to say how impressed i am on the advise you all have given this mum on how to reach out and help her daughter to read. but what suripses me on how rude she was to u all, but saying that she may feel that she not doing agood job with her daughter.My suggestion to this mum would to make a appt with the school counsellor and see if the school could request some support for this child, to overcome why she doesnt want to learn to read.Goodluck and i hope you get the results you are seeking.

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	3.00 (Average) \| December 2006 \| peachynowamum

My kid wont read

I just believe she is stressed... we have all had our bad days and lashed out at poeple who dont deserve it... in cases like this it is best to let it slide rather than retaliate... I ask have you ever had abad day? if yes than you know what i am saying is true...

I do agree it was rude but we all make mistakes aand no one is perfect

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	2.11 (Poor) \| December 2006 \| pdubble2

My kid wont read

& am i not stressed thanku very much. oh my god

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	3.38 (Average) \| December 2006 \| peachynowamum

My kid wont read

your welcome

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	3.92 (Good) \| December 2006 \| cazza

My kid wont read

i would like to say that my advise i gave was not to offend anyone, and i fully understand why it may have looked like i may have not understood. and yes we all do have bad days and no im definetely not perfect.But i will cop it on the chin and get over things very quickly, as life is too short too be judgemental. thankyou, and i do wish this mum with the daughter that doesnt want to read the best of luck with whatever her choices are on this issue.

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	3.00 (Average) \| December 2006 \| peachynowamum

My kid wont read

i dont think anyone meant to offend so no worries oh yeah i was not having a go at you... I just thought every1 full stop needed to be understanding of her situation and her of her daughter cause like i said i have definately had my bad days lol

Hopefully she does find the answer she want though

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	3.00 (Average) \| December 2006 \| monyq83

My kid wont read

damn ur a forgiving person peachy! i just wanna give you a hug!!! you are so nice! lol

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	3.00 (Average) \| December 2006 \| peachynowamum

My kid wont read

now your making me blush

lol thankyou... i just think the world would be a lot more better if we were more understanding of each other thats all

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	4.30 (Good) \| December 2006 \| carlton

My kid wont read

Encouragement, encouragement, encouragement!!!! Read her one or two bedtime stories every night. Take her to the library. Sit down after school with her at the table and read a book together with her. Any words she is having trouble with, help her with. If she is having terrible trouble, could you spend at least half an hour a day tutoring her, or does she have a sibling or friend who could help her?!! It is so important that she develops a love of reading, and doesn't see it as a chore. Introduce her to the great childrens' literature that is out there. As a child, I loved "Charlotte's Web", a book about Helen Keller, the "Little House on the Praire" Series, the Nairnia series, by C.S. Lewis, and so on. Perhaps there are reading groups at the local library. Hope this helps.

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	4.00 (Good) \| December 2006 \| peachynowamum

My kid wont read

You are a great parent and I am sure you are doing a wonderful job witth her as alot of parents dont care about their childs grades aslong as it dont interrupt their lives they dont care but...

I cant believe you chastised her like that telling her she wont amount to anything!!! you wont get anywhere like that....have you not heard of cunstructive critism... you could hve said i know you are a very smart girl but i have noticed you are having trouble with reading/school is there anything wrong you would like to tell me about... ask her questions like is she having problems at school are the other kids picking on her? does she have trouble seeing the board or can she here the teacher properly....

perhaps you should get her eyes check or see a doctor she might have dislexia or something... but hell would freeze over in my books before it became appropriate to say such awful things to a child... it only serves to discourage them further... it makes them feel stupid and afraid to ask for help and guidance... if this is the wat you have chosen to motivate your child over the years it is no wonder she does not open up to you and express her problems....

now that that has been said we all make mistakes and it is never to late to make ammends... try being more sympathetic to her listen to her and watch... she may be saying more than you think she is... you can say more with actions than with words even body language is a great way of communicating... for example does she come home and mope or hide in her room... if so she could be depressed...

talk to her and let her know she can tell you anything no matter what (make sure you stay calm and always keep your cool no matter what!!!)

you might actually find out what is wrong and why she is struggling

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	3.63 (Good) \| December 2006 \| peachynowamum

My kid wont read

i forgot have you tried participating and reading with her when shes at home?

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	1.00 (Very Poor) \| December 2006 \| pdubble2

My kid wont read

hmm

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	3.00 (Average) \| December 2006 \| peachynowamum

My kid wont read

aah is that a good hmmm... or a bad hmmm...

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	December 2006 \| OzBinky

My kid wont read

ummm, a bad one maybe? (see below)

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	December 2006 \| peachynowamum

My kid wont read

yeah but my response was different to the others so i am left wondering

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	4.71 (Excellent) \| December 2006 \| Practical-Princess

My kid wont read

As others have said, first check there is not an underlying problem that is making her not want to read, such as vision or even reading problems such as dyslexia.

Don't worry about what others think. Your child will have abilities others do not and vice-versa. All kids are different and special in many different ways.

Find something that really interests her. Is there an animal she likes? Does she like the ocean? Farms? The city? Dancing? Fairies? Princesses? etc. Find her interest and then find books to suit. Spend time each day with her reading, both you reading to her and she reading some parts with you. Offer her a reward if she reads with you, try using a star chart.

Some kids just don't like to read no matter what. Like someone I know - her daughter wouldn't read and her mother didn't enforce it. This has put her far behind in her schooling. She's now in year 7 and has started to want to read, which is great. But she is behind. Do what you can to encourage her and read a lot to her.

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