im no expert but it sounds to me that shes a very lonely woman and she likes to be neeeded and in controll of things ,, get her to go to bingo and meet others

dont ask her to baby sit she wants that controll say nope i have a friend that said she will do it , reverse phycoligy ( sorry about my spelling ) and she will probely insist that she does it

I would say that you're mom's having a hard time letting go... I had this problem with my mom too and believe it or not it has a quite simple solution. It won't be easy and she'll probably have hurt feelings for a while, but you have to get on the phone and in a calm voice tell her "Mom, I know you love me and you want to protect me, but I am a grown girl now and although I may need to sometimes, I don't need you all the time. You need to back off now and let me be an adult and when I need you I will come to you... and when you need me you can always come to me."

You don't have to say it exactly like that, but you get the gist... and don't try to say it when she's already upset. Wait until you are both calm and in good moods... her good mood may not last, but she'll get over it and the next time you talk you may find that her attitude towards you has changed.

Hope this helps you like it helped me!

It looks like your Mom knows what buttons to push, and it also loks like you fall for it hook,line, and sinker each and every time she starts pushing! We know the problem, so now its time to work on a solution! This will not be easy, BUT it MUST be done! So my dear here is my suggestion for the next time Mom starts. You know all the signs, you know what you may say that will set her off right! OK so the next time you say something and you bit your tongue when you know that you should have kept quiet, and you know that your Mom is about to start, just tell her that you need to go> "Sorry Mom have to go, just remembered I have something on the stove." then hang up. If the phone rings after you hang up DO NOT ANSWER IT!  If the phone continues to ring, ingore it, it YOUR MOTHER CALLING! The next time you are speaking to your mother, and she is talking to you as though you were a child, you calmly say "MOM I am grateful for all of your advise, but, I am old enough to make my own choices." Do not get into a yelling match with her, just say goodbye and hang up the phone. You really need to make your mom understand that you are an adult, so do do this, YOU must not let her draw you into this childish argument. You need to be the adult and take control of the situation! As to New Years Eve, just tell her nicely that this year her services will not be needed as you have decided you are having a party for your friends! . Be firm but kind. Make it a New Years resolution that you are no longer going to be treated as a child by your Mom,and stick to it. Good luck and have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Your Mom will be fine!

Mothers, like everyone else in this world will treat you however YOU LET THEM TREAT YOU.  There is an obvious pattern to her behaviour toward you, which would make me inclined to feel there is also a pattern in your reaction to her.  I am sure she loves you, however this love is manifesting itself in an alarming manner.

Whatever you have been doing in response to her has to change drastically.  For she is on a winner at this stage, you must assert yourself and establish yourself as an adult in her eyes once and for all.  It is entirely likely that this will result in some conflict, maybe even short-term estrangement.  However, in the long term you will feel saner, and she will respect you.

Be independant, get your licence to if you can, it will make you so free, you won't know how you ever survived before.  It will also make the world of difference to your kids, and could be really important in an emergency. 

Good luck with it!

you dont need her in your life so stop the stress and drop her at the bus stop. how do you expect to be a parent to your children when mummy is still the parent to you . my mother was controling my life so mutch that i had to ask my mother for permission to take my children to the park. she wouldnt stop so i excomunicated her and now five years down the track, i am stress free and loving being a mum. now that you have had children it is time to stand on your own two feet as a parent and if you dont do it soon, your children will be adults and your enjoyment of there young years will be gone. and you cant get them back. so mum take control or sook silently. and merry christmas

I would just talk to my mother about how i feeling. oh course i don't know your mother but may you do need to tell her.  Don't forget to tell her that you love her but please back off.

I'm 35 and I find myself saying often to mum Im not 14, I know what Im doing!!  Your mum will always mother you its what mums do, you will probably do the same with your kids.  But there is one lesson I have learnt is I don't tell her everything that is going on, if I go to the Dr she doesn't need to know, mums worry and I know she will, Of course your mum rang the hospital, your her child and she loves you, but learn from your mistakes unless your dieing don't tell her.  My mum battled cancer and won so I value every day she is here, she is not perfect and neither am I so I don't press her buttons and she doesn't press mine so we rarely fight.  Speak to your mum in a non confronting  way from one adult to another explain how you feel and how its hard to travel all that way to see her, be caring, understanding, believe me you would rather her around and been a pain in the bum then not at all.  Goodluck xx

Speak to your mum. Don't shout or yell, speak to your mum. Tell her how you feel, and find out why she feels the way she does. Maybe it's how her mother treated her, and so she knows no different.  Don't advise her of when you are at the Doctors, or anything like this, or you can only expect the phone call.  Try to avoid anything that brings out the behaviour you don't like, in your mother.  Also, consider that she may be going through menopause.  It tends to make mothers do strange things.    Whatever you do, good luck

Good morning,My sister has this problem with our Mother or did I should say.I will advise you as I did my sister,Firstly work out all of your issues with her and put it to paper(so if things get frazzled you don't forget where you are)set out what you deem to be reasonable requests and guide lines make sure you do this when you are not irritated or angry.Approach your Mother when you and her have plenty of time and no distractions,put this to her in as gentle and understanding manner that you can.Allow for the fact that she will get on her high horse and get quite dramatic,calmly direct her back on track to your discussion.If she is like our Mum she will resort to the phrase...After all I've done for you!!!!! this is usually an answer when they are trying the old guilt tactic.You need to be fair but firm and willing to compromise on small issues so as to stick to your guns on the bigger ones.Whilst our parents need to be treated with love and respect they also need to be made understand our adult personal and household guide lines.My sister and Mum still clash at times and it is always when my sister starts standing up to Mum,you see I leave Mum in no doubt as to when she has crossed the line! However I also let her know how much we appreciate her.This helps no end a single flower with a note etc it doesn't have to be extravagant.My husbands parents are worse,we just have to keep gently reminding them of our guidelines and stand firm on them.Hope this is of some felp regards Merle

I know what you are going through!  I know it is hard for your mom to not let you be an adult.  Mine was the same way, then 7 years ago, my mom was in a bad accident, and her whold life changed, I became the care giver for her.  That was one of the hardest thing to go through.  Now she is better, but not her old self. I miss my mom, more than you can know. I still talk to her daily, but it is not the same.  Her personality changed, her attitude.  Basicly the woman that is here now has my moms memories and that is it.  She use to be an artist, a great cook, a sculptor, made hand crafted silver jewelry, etc. She can do none of those things no matter how hard she tries.  Just be gratefull you have a mom. Even though my mom makes me want to choke her sometimes for the way she treats me I think of her in the ICU at the hospital and know that I have a second chance.  Your mom will come around. Maybe you should invite her to the party you are having.  Hire a teenager to come sleep over and watch your kids and any other kids that may be attending and let your mom see you as an adult, let her know you want her in your life not just as a sitter but as one mom to another.  Good luck. 

oh geez..... it's like looking into a mirror - lol!  My mother is just as bad and i am doing my head in coz i'm staying with her for a couple of months while i find a new place.... it's sending me f'n insane!!!!!!!!!!

i try as hard as i can to not let her get to me.  if she starts an arguement, more often than not i just walk away - sure, sometimes she tries chasing after me to continue the arguement, but mostly it just ends there.  i bite my tongue a lot and used to struggle really hard with her but now i try not to let it faze me.  i just ignore her and do my own thing (MOSTLY - i'm not perfect - lol).  the more i let it get to me the more wound up i become and i feel agitated all the time so i just block it out. 

*ugh!!!  she just came in then having a go at me*

i'm sick of it but at least be happy that you have your own place and she's not in your ear 24/7 - i know i can't wait to move in the new year!!!!!!!