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A moment of your time :)
hi there all
As you can tell this is all new to me, l'm just looking for a place to come for bit of a chat and hopefully obtain some friendships along the way. As stated previously in my setup details l am the mum of 3 children ( one of which is an angel). There is Jiordyn my daughter who is 4 (going on 44 LOL) and there there is Maddigan (maddi for short) (maddi is our angel baby and she would be 2 now) and then there is the latest addition to our family, little Roarke who has just clocked over to 8 months old. As you would all know life is hectic but full of joy (most of the time lol). I am also looking for people whom l share my experiences with (with the regards to the loss of a child) but that is not my only agenda, through the last few years after loosing maddi l've had friends and even strangers go through this journey with little or no help. As l'm of the understanding bringing a child into this world is the greatest gift in the world as a parent and when that gift has been taken from us so suddenly, your world is shattered and torn apart, and then to deal with the attitude that "you'll get on with", "you'll have more children" this only adds fuel to the fire. So for the last few years I've taken it apon myself to hopefully make child and infant loss a widely know subject, as this is one of the subjects that is just not discussed unless its happened to you, (and the relevance is, it doesn't effect people until it happens to them) But the mother, fathers, siblings etc of these children want them to be acknowledged, so what l'm asking of all you wonderful folk out there who have been through a similar journey is,
what is the best way to do this???
l know myself when l lost my daughter there was no books on the subject at all ! (l'm refering to books on other peoples experiences, As when you know of other peoples loss it make you feel that no your not the only one in the world that this happens to)
so l'm looking at trying to put a book together with my own experiences aswell as others experience, but l would like some feedback on how you believe this would be received within the community? (and l do understand that for some people that this would just be too heartbreaking to relive)
so please feel free to add a comment or give some advice as l'm hoping to try and pop in each day to see how all you wonderful folk are travelling
thanks for taking the time to share a minute with me
beck 
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A moment of your time :)
i think that god gave extra strength to parents who lose a child because my world would shatter to a million pieces and i dont think i would ever survive a heartache like that, my love goes to all woman and men and siblings, grandparents that experience the loss of a child in the family.
I do know though how it affects other children in the family especially if the parents cannot have anymore children after such a loss.
when i was six years old i remember mum was having a baby and i was so excited as i was an only child and couldnt wait to be a big sister, then i went to the hospital to see mum and alana dawn and was told that she was very sick and i couldnt see her. i never did get to see her as she died at 8 days old. this had a profound effect on me for life as i still get sad and sometimes teary (like now) at the loss of my baby sister and like others i wonder how she would have looked and what things we cpould have done together. i got sever seperation anxiety from mum and couldnt go anywhere without being scared i would lose mum too. it was an extremely tough time for me and i hate to think how mum was coping.
she later told me that she immediately wrote a diary of her feelings and that helped her cope , maybe thats what i shoould do now as i still cannot let go of my sadness at what might have been for me. i ended up growing up an only child and felt lilke i was being punished by not getting siblings.
i made sure that my kids never felt alone, but by the way they bicker they probanly wish they were.
i think talking about your feelings helps and thatnk to minti i have talked about an issue that still makes me cry, i suppose i havent grieved properly yet either and its been 26 years. i guess it seems selfish of me to grieve a baby that wasnt mine . but she was as much a part of me as she was of mum, i just wonder if others feel the same.
oh gee this is the first time ive cried openly for her, so maybe this is my healing too. thank you
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A moment of your time :)
I love how you describe yourself as a mother of 3 - 1 of whom is an Angel! My friend just had a miscarriage and I have been searching high & low for a beautiful Angel for her to keep in her other daughters room, so that the 2 of them can be together always. I went through a stage when I thought the idea was perhaps silly, however you have renewed my interest in doing it.
My mother in law type lost her baby at 20ish weeks & the first thing I noted when I went to their house was a lovely framed letter to him on the wall. It is from the whole family telling him how much they will always love him. The other day I asked her to help me with a poem for my friend & she had an entire file of them, & all sorts of things that may be of interest to you. I hope you don't mind, I emailed your Q & A to her, & I will be up there this weekend & will get as much info for you as possible.
The loss of a child, born or unborn is unbelievably traigic, and it is something that needs to be shared, like all grief. People seem to shy away from it as if it is taboo - I think it is because it is such a sad thing, that if they can avoid it, or you, they don't even want to contemplate it. However these Angels had lives to be celebrated & remembered, for they are part of us, & for a short moment they brought immense joy in to the world, that should never be forgotten.
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it never goes away
Thanks for taking the time to share your experienece with me claudine
As l mentioned in my post we are the voices for these children and if we don't speak up about them then no one will, l remember speaking to lady of about 65 no so long ago, anyway we got on to the subject of how many children do you have etc, l (depending on the situation) will always mention the fact that l have 3 children, one of which is no longer here, and she asked what happened etc, anyway as the conversation progressed she started to get a little emotional and l thought oh l've said the wrong thing, but in that moment she said to me, l applaud you for talking about your daughter as if she was here, because when l was your age (late 20'S) l also lost a child, but the difference was l was never allowed to see my child or hold my child or even find out the sex of that child, and when l came home from hospital that day was never mentioned again, she said to me that no a day goes by that she does not think of her lost child.
so it effects everyone in there own personal way, but we need to be made to feel that it is ok to greive and no we wont get over it, we'll learn to live with
thanks again for sharing a moment of your time claudine
hope to chat again soon
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It really is very easy to do.....
