I can relate...I have a 14 year old with ADHD.  Over the previous school holidays, I have almost been tearing my hair out trying to keep calm when his escapades begin.

This year, I have a strategy!  I have found some things he loves to do - build and repair things, cooking and swimming.  So he is rostered on to cook dinner every third night as well as filling up the cake tins in the house.  I have a list of things that need repairing around the house (just simple things, painting the fence, fixing a broken paling) and he'll be ticking them off one by one.  When the pool opens in our town, he's there!

I have also limited the amount of junk food and sugar he eats, almost eliminated red food colourings and additives and caffeine, and increased the amount of water he drinks.

He has been off school since Dec 8, and so far so good.  Apart from the normal arguments between sibling (I've got three others at home), it seems to be working.  Good luck and respect!

katheedavis

 

Is your anger towards your child at all? Or you talking about dealing with temper once in a while? It's pretty hard to keep temper in check when you are with a child who demands your attention at all times. If this is the case, you have to make sure that you get plenty of time to recoop - as in, time for yourself - read a book, take a long bath etc. You have to do this routinely in order to recharge your reserves. Temper easily flares when you are tired, stressed and overwhelmed.

Anger and love are not exclusive feelings. You can be angry with someone but still love them. Keep this in mind, and always keep in mind that it's the situation that's making your angry and not your child.

Good luck.

Is your anger towards your child at all? Or you talking about dealing with temper once in a while? It's pretty hard to keep temper in check when you are with a child who demands your attention at all times. If this is the case, you have to make sure that you get plenty of time to recoop - as in, time for yourself - read a book, take a long bath etc. You have to do this routinely in order to recharge your reserves. Temper easily flares when you are tired, stressed and overwhelmed.

Anger and love are not exclusive feelings. You can be angry with someone but still love them. Keep this in mind, and always keep in mind that it's the situation that's making your angry and not your child.

Good luck.

being school holidays, i can imagine how hard it is for you to not have your usual 6hour long break from your child each day during the week. adhd is not an easy thing to deal with, no matter what people tell you.

the best piece of advice i was given one day when i just couldnt take the stress anymore, is when it all gets too much and you think youre gonna crack, give your child a hug. walk up to them, wrap your arms around them, and hug to your hearts content. dont let go until you feel better. your child will think youve lost the plot, but trust me youll feel so much better.

if this doesnt work, go to your room and shut the door. stay in there, count to ten and breathe deeply. meditate if you have to. if youre still not feeling better, count to ten again. and again. and again if need be. and for christs sake, DONT GIVE THE CHILD SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i learnt this the hard way lol

good luck and i hope everything is ok. (big hugs!) MonyQ.

In Australia in some areas we have Respite care. It gives parents a break and it also gives kids a break. Respite care can be something kids find fun as long as it is done right. Your local Department of childrens services can give you more information on services in your area.

I too have an ADHD child. My son is 8 years old and he can quickly change from being loving and kind to someone so full of anger and not afraid to hit out.
I can understand the anger inside you, but feel a lot of it is anger too that your child is having to suffer the mood changes and all you can do is watch.
I have found the only way I can deal with my son is to have a thinking chair, when he is in any kind of a rage, he sits in his thinking chair and he knows I will not discuss the incident that has placed him in this chair until he is calm and so am I. He knows that I will not listen to any reasoning until he can explain why he thinks he is sitting in the chair and we go from there.
I get very angry too, but the chair is good for both of us, it gives us a time out of the situation so he can think about what has happened and I don't have to give him a talk or punishment until I have my own emotions under control. It works well for us.
By the time he is off the chair I am ready for the usual sorry mummy and we can have a hug and discuss it in a loving way. You know you cannot argue with an ADHD child in full throttle, they see no reason or sense in what you are saying other than that you hate them and they get blamed for everything.
It also helps if the chair is in a different room for you, so you can take some deep breaths without them watching Above all they want the reassurance that you understand they can't always help their outburst but they also have to understand you cannot tolerate some of their behaviour

Just let him know that you love him  and it his behaviour that your angry with not him directly. It's a hard situation to be in, and take the other lady's advice, go get a coffee and either put him in his room while you have a break or lock yourself in yours. Failing that, go to the toilet and sit there with a good book for 5 mins or so. There are programs that deal with adhd and if you contact  Current Affair or one of those shows they can put you onto one of these places that do the adhd programs. They have done shows on this before and the change in behaviour is remarkable. NOt sure  if this advice is any good but worth a try maybe.  Good luck

The first part of the school holidays is the worst with an ADHD child because their routine has been disturbed.  These wonderful children cope better when their world is organised and structured, so school holidays mess with their minds. I have some tips to ease the stress.

Keep regular wake up and bed times.  During the holidays we all relax the rules and want to let our little darlings sleep later, and they want to go to bed later.  This is fine, but with the ADHD kids you need to stick to a daily wake up and bed time.  These can be later then usual, but they need to be constant.

Have a morning routine.  Wake up, have shower, clean teeth, have breakfast - whatever it is in your house.  Make sure the child is aware that this routine is not negotiable.

Keep sweets to a minimum - After christmas your young one is probably still on a sugar high (no matter how vigilant we are - some wonderful family member will always feed em the wrong things).  We all know what happens here.

Encourage your child when he is being calm.  With ADHD kids it is very easy to concentrate on the negatives.  They need to know that they are good kids.  For the 4 and a half minutes a day when they are not bouncing off the walls, make sure you notice and praise.

As for how to show love.  When you are angry, leave the room - this may cause havoc, but it is important.

Take time out for yourself, even if it is only five minutes for a quiet cup of coffee.

Use essential oils to calm and soothe.

If you dont already have your little darling on fish oil supplements, christmas holidays is the time to look into it.

If all else fails - go outside and scream !!!!!

 

Have you spoken with your GP? Maybe it's a little more than just you getting or feeling angry. If you normally cope and this isn't like you I'd suggest that you seek the help of a doctor or counselor.

Just keep something in mind though, you are human. Mums are human, Dads are human and there are times in life when things get to us despite how much we try otherwise. We all feel frustrated at time and the fact that you recognize this yourself is a step in the right direction to begin with.

How old is your child? Is there a school holiday program that he/she can attend? Even if it is just for a few hours a day, its a break well deserved. Good luck matey!

I would just say nice things, its hard for me to be bad at my little one for being colicy when I keep saying things like, I love you, You are precious, You are my sweet girl, Mommy loves you etc. Good Luck!