You said you had a major falling out - been there done that.  Have you come to terms with what caused the falling out in the first place? Are either of you big enough to talk through the issues to try and resolve what keeps you apart? It's one thing to say 'Idont need them I got friends', but you are the one who has to live with the results of unresolved arguments and to tell the absolute truth I think you DO still need them or this would not cause you so much pain.  Again in all honesty I think they need YOU and are probably too pig headed to get over any offence that your falling out caused. 

If you really want to resolve this you will need to think through the issues that caused this falling out and sort out what you said and should have put differently and what they said that you haven't been able to get past.  If you can face what you did and forgive what they did and try to talk to them admitting those things and that you want things to be different then maybe you might have a shot at next Christmas being different.  Life is very short and you don't know for sure how long these people will be around.  If they will not move on and get over what hurt them, at least you tried and your conscience can rest easier and you can come to terms with that.  Who knows - give it a try - that way you dont have to live with the possibility that one day they might not be around and you left it undone. 

you no what you are the better person becuase what mum wouldnt talk to there own daughter i have a 16 year old daughter and if we had a fight no matter what i would want her in my life so you no what its there loss not yours i no it would be hard for you not having your mum and not been able to go there for christmas hopfully one day she will get over it as life must go on, keep smiling

Sweetie, one thing that I have learned in life is that blood may be thicker than water, but water is a far greater resource, it is more useful, more abundant, cleaner, and it will quench your thirst far better.

Don't worry about your family.  If they don't want to be part of your family, that is their loss.  Spend your time with good friends.  Good friends make good family members, all you have to do is adopt them as your surrogate brothers and sisters, mums and dads and your family can be as big as you want it to be.  I've got a handful of 'sisters', several dozen 'brothers', and a few 'mums' and 'dads' and only one of them is blood related.  I haven't spent a Christmas alone since I realised I could do this, and I'd rather spend Christmas with good friends than bad relatives any day..

I completely agree, not only for the reasons she mentioned, but for the fact that clearly your choices are at a distinct minimum at this point.  They seem to me to be.
1.  Sit around and feel sorry for yourself.
2. At least be able to say you took the high ground and did your absolute best to mend the rift in a mature and diplomatic way. (as having a go and then losing your cool wont count in the points FOR you box, only the box AGAINST)

You need to pin point the issue that started all of this, reconsile it within your self. eg.  Is it still pertanant to who YOU are NOW?

Is it worth you being left out and your daughter having limited family contact?

Hypothetically say after you have this self pow-wow and the answers are no, it's not worth being left out, it doesn't really mean that much to me in this day and age.

So then you call your mum, write a letter or a card or send an e-mail.....THAT part is up to you, but it has to seem like an olive branch and not a half hearted attempt to make yourself feel better.

Then if she agree's to meet with you, map out in your head the first couple of sentances you want to say like
"Mum, I have come to realise that I am not the same person I was when we had or falling out and I am sure that you are not either so I would very much like for us to try and forge a new friendly relationship.  I know it won't be like the old days and we can't turn back the clock, but we can both treat each other with love and respect, I have missed having you in my life."

Okay here are the key things you need to realise happened in those sentances.

You use the word "I" for everything and never "YOU" in an acusatory manner.  If you use you, she will get her back up instantly and you will get no where.  Doesn't matter who she is, it's a self preservation mechanism we all share.

By saying "I" takes all the pressure off her.  You allow her a face saving way back in and you are taking the high road.

The only way she can find fault with what you say if you follow this rule is if she has no desire what so ever to reconsile and is a complete b!tch.

I do wish you luck.....looking back on something and regretting it achieves absolutely nothing except to upset yourself all over again.  YOU are the only one effected and you are doing it to yourself.  Acknowledge, reconsile, and move on.  Even if you are further rejected, you can no longer be haunted by the initial incident and can hold your head high and live a life of no regrets because You did the RIGHT thing.

I wish you the best of luck.

I have been in the same position with my Mother..........I know it is hard,I just let my Mum know how I felt about her lack of support and left it at that.I would alternate Christmases and Other other special occasions.Hopefully she will come to her senses,remember some Mothers just are not maternal.good luck hugs Merle

maybe its time to put the past behind you and try and work out things with your mother? You only have one mother and if you dont work it out then when time comes and she passes you will regret what you missed out on, and your child is also suffering from it. Maybe you should go and talk to your mother and try and work things out, even if that means that you say it was your fault (even if its not) Just for the sake of the relationship with your mother and family