Hi,
you really are not alone, I too am going through a similar situation and it's amazing to read about so many also going through this. I agree with the comments regarding communication ! Find a time when you are both relatively calm and write down beforehand what you want to say, include positive comments first about him and try not to get into a personal attack when suggesting what he may do to make you and himself in turn happier.
I have a short temper and often ended up yelling as well, but i found that if i wrote things down and made them sound positive it helped me memorise what i had to say and stick to the topic.
We all have our moments where we adore our partner and then those where we hate them , it's hard when you have a family and so many pressures in everyday life.
Good luck and i hope you find some way of achieving a peaceful and happy relationship.

you sound as if you have  the baby blues and in a little of depression and with whats going on it makes it the more worse ,, instead of yelling cause it hasnt gotten you both anywhere , get a pen and paper and both sit down and write   things that you both need to do what needs to be payed and when etc,,,  ,, some men are a lttile think and dont get the point that we get depressed when we have a child or are preggnent ,  you also have to remember that some men also get into a rutt of depression also ,, and on the flip side you also as the partner have to be a little more supportive of him . im not there so i cant see whats going on ..

if you need food etc,, also go see the salvation army make an appointment they do help people that are struggeling ,, they are also will set you up with a cancelling  if you need to talk to someone and dont know what to do etc,,,,,

Communications sooo important for the both of you right now

My partner and I have been through this a couple of times. First time was before kids and it wasn't until we had kids that things changed. the next time we went through it he just didn't like the job/or someother excuse and would quit. He resented me for nagging him about bills and I resented him for not providing. Onw day he flipped and dissapeared for a whole day. During that time I rang and found out exactly what options I had as a single parent (I was expecting my second but he didn't know yet). I knew it would be tight but it is definately doab;e and at least then I was in charge of the money for my kids.  he ended up coming back and basically saying what the pp was trying to say. He also said he hated that he couldn't provide but he couldn't stand working for poeple that didn't treat him right.  I suggested we have abreak from each other so he could sort himself out but he didn't want that. we spent all night talking and it felt much better.  Becasue I had found out my options if he couldn't provide and we left I was able to handle him better.

Also if he hasn't got a job why aren't you guys claiming centrelink payments? After my partner had a car accident nearly 2 years ago he was unable to work for a year. We survived on those payments (about $1100+ per fortnight) you also get rent assistance and I think there is phone allowance for low income.  If he really can't get a job he needs to swollow his pride and claim benefits so he can provide.

Not sure if anyhting helps but I do understand about not wanting to leave but I made the tough decision that I had to leave if he couldn't provide. Maybe thats the wakeup call he needs.

Ok for the record, I am on your side, and I can feel your frustration and fear bouncing off the page, so calm down and read what everyone has written so far - it is good advice.

He doesn't see you cry?  Yet he hears you yell.

Put your own feelings aside for a little minute, just hear me out.  I am guessing that he is depressed, feels powerless, and useless and overwhelmed by the mess you guys are in.  The longer you are stuck in a hole like this, the harder it is to dig yourself out of it.  (I know you would never let a situation like this stop you, no matter how bad it was, but men are different to us).

He doesn't realise how upset and sad, and fearful and worried you are.  He isn't listening when you tell him about the bills because he is shutting it all out.  All he sees is that you are angry with him and that he is a failure and that you are no longer attracted to him and he probably feels trapped and that his manhood has slipped away...

If you want to stay with him, you will have to swallow your pride and let him have some power back in your relationship.  Work out the bills and the gap between your income.  Ask him to fill that gap, tell him that you and your baby/babies need him and can't do it without him.  Remember why you loved him in the first place - tell him all of the positive good things he has going for him.  Remind him of how good things used to be, and can be, and will be, and that he is the one who can change things.  Tell him you will support him and help him in any way you can, but right now, you need him to step up and be strong for all of you.

If none of this seems to work after a few weeks (yeah, I know, you don't have much time), start looking at the options the others have suggested about some time apart.  It may be what you both need to sort your heads out, and be clear about what you want for the future, how to get it, and whether or not you stay together. 

I WENT THREW THE SAME THING, ENDED UP GOING TO MY PARENTS TWO WEEKS BEFORE MY SECOND SON WAS BORN, I COULDN'T GET ADVICE FROM ANYONE. I've LATER LEARNED THAT YOU CAN GET ASSISTANCE FROM CENTERLINK IF YOUR A LOW INCOME FAMILY WHEN BUBS COMES YOUR ENTITLED TO MARTERITY ALLOWANCE. AND FAMILY ASSISTANCE. SADLY I WENT BACK TO MY KIDS FATHER TO HAVE THREE MORE KIDS AND IT STUFFED UP AGAIN FOR THE SAME REASONS. JUST KEEP AT IT, AND IF ITS TO HARD, HAVE A BREAK. THATS THE ONLY WAY I CAN HELP YOU LOVE, GOOD LUCK.

I can really sympathies with you, I am in the same situation with my husband (we fight, I’m not attracted to him, not enough money and Baby number 2 on the way). Unfortunately there is no simple answer – which I am sure you are aware of.

I have been trying to get my other half to get a better job for about two years - on the up side he has now got a job (I’ll just work on him to get a better paid job).

You have a few options, 1) continue to persist for him to get a better job and sit down and draw up a budget what you (as a couple) earn now compared to what you (as a couple) need to earn to make life easier. Sit down and discuss it together, help him with his efforts to find a job if you can. 2) Find out what you financial options are if you left him (do you have somewhere you can go, can you get a single parent benefit, can you get rental assistance or childcare assistance so that you can work etc) then if the financials work leave him.  3) Get him to look after the children (presume that you already have at least one) and you work full time – you might be able to earn more than him. 4) Continue as things are now and stay unhappy. (I am not trying to be rude, in fact I must admit that this is what I am currently doing and I don’t recommend it).

Good luck with your situation, I hope that whatever decision/solution you find works for you and your children/children to be. I hope you and your partner work things out as its good for children to have both parents, however its more important for children to have happy parents – even if it means they are no longer together. Feel free to drop me an email if you want to talk anymore.

Boy it sounds to me you are both in a rut.......I would for your own peace of mind,try one more time to get through to him.Write what is upsetting you down,put beside it what you would like for him to do about the problem......wait for a moment that is calm then approach him with all your issues,encourage him to tell you what you could do to improve the relationship. At this moment  whilst you are feeling this way,it is perfectly normal not to be attracted to him.You have to be happy and contented to feel attracted to your mate as all the zing factor and rose coloured glasses fade after awhile.I think you would benefit from a time out of the relationship if he continues along the same road,He needs a wake up call,you are also probably very emotional due to your pregnancy.Do you have some-one you could holiday with for awhile?Sometimes we have to have some alone time to think straight.I am not suggesting leaving him permenantly just long enough for him to get the incentive to look after his family.I hope this helps regards Merle