Try Sentia pills. They helped me to return my sex drive.

Just to be different, I love sex with my husband! sorry, It hasn't always been smooth though and from personal experience,i really think there are a couple  of reasons for why you may not be in the mood though..

1) Having the pressure of someone expecting or constantly hinting about wanting sex is a huge turnoff and can leave you feeling like you could do without sex forever. It may be a good idea to discuss this with hubby and maybe agree to have a sex free period to start over and refresh things.  Re discover your relationship and start dating again.

2) If your relationship has become sour or routine or just plain boring you need to look at this and try something new

3) The Pill, I believe, causes your sex drive to diminish due to the hormone levels.

4) If your husband feels love and acceptance from sex, is there anything you could do to help him still get the love and acceptance without the sex? just to help ease the tension and make him feel accepted and not rejected.  Maybe just being affectionate in a non sexual way.

Sometimes I feel like lack of sex drive after children is universal.  For me, I definately lack the drive.  But there is also a lack of sensation these days so that it is harder for me to get aroused when before the birth of my daughter it was easy.  It's almost as if the nerve endings have somehow been damaged.  Likewise, 8 moonths of demand feeding has made my nipples numb so that I don't get the same sensation there either.  (Sorry for the detail guys but you did ask).  Combine all of that with feeling worn out (and I am heavily pregnant now) there just isn't much of an inclination to get all sexy in the bedroom.  I know its bad. I know it's not good for the marrige but I just can't seem to "get it up" as it were.  My husband finds the whole thing very annoying - being someone who could have sex several times a day if he could (once a day would be his minimum.) it's upsetting to get married and have a mutual sex drive and then for one of the people to just plummet like I have.  I guess I'm not answering your question.  Rather just commiserating with you.  Do I have an answer to all of this?  No. Oh, god.  I'm totally depressed now!!!!

wow! so there are others out the same as me. i too have this problem and i thought maybe it was the antidepressants i am taking but maybe not. i have 2 kids aged 2 and 3 and i found that after my last daughter i never wanted to have sex unless i did it just to make my partner happy. it's weird that even though u really dont want to if you do end up having sex it does feel really good. i have a problem with being intimate as i was sexualy abused from 13 to 14 as a child by a family member so that deffinately plays a part and beeing tired and stressed and everything else that comes with being a mother. but if anyone comes up witha cure please let me know. sorry this doesnt help i just thought it would be great to let others know that they arent alone!!!

I feel exactly the same the last thing on my mind when I go to bed is making love ,but i did hear somewhere the other day that even if u are not in the mood that some hormone kicks in and gets u in the mood (sorry i dont know more about it)which in my case i guess it must beacause I do usually respond after some time.And i agree sometimes it is like a chore because we even have to clean up the mess after sex.lol My husband wants me to make the first move and well that is not going to happen .We have had many arguments about this very topic (usually the only thing we argue about )my husband expects it atleast twice a week ,I guess I should be grateful that he does still find me attractive after being together for 17 years and 4 children later.

I do know for me watching an adult video does usually work but I like the 1s with a bit of a story line .So if u do not have a tv and video in your bedroom maybe get 1 and try it if u are open to this kind of thing.

Hopefully my advice does not offend but that is my suggestion.

If someone really works it out, let me know!  I too share your pain, anon.

My kids are 14, 13 and 10 and I still don't really have the urge. Part of the problem is that my hubby has placed such importance on sex (he says it makes him feel loved and wanted - ergo, when he doesn't get sex then he's NOT loved and wanted, which I have told him is utter garbage but it's what he feels). Another part is that he wants me to be in the mood and want to have sex with him, when I really don't.

I have looked at my drive and realised that once we get a bit further than the kissing stage that most of the time I do get in the mood. But I have to be almost "forced" to get to that stage because the most of the time I'd much rather have a good night's sleep than have some nookie.

So I force myself to get to that stage, because I know that I will more than likely get in the mood after a little while. Sad to say, but that's the only thing I can come up with.

And this is why I am so against monogamy (for me personally, but for others as well) because alot of the time as a species we seem to be forcing ourselves to be unnatural. I mean, in a split second I would easily become all hot and bothered for the spunkrat at the cafe but not for my husband.

I also realise that a fair bit of my sex drive is tied up in my cycle, and there are also the issues I can't seem to talk to him about for fear of offending or angering him (such as my resentment that has built up over the years).

Maybe you could have a think about what else is bothering you that you are not talking about.

Hey dont worry you are not alone.  The only time I have a high sex drive is when I am pregnant but sorry to say for my hubby I wont be pregnant forever.  I never really had a high sex drive either, they say women go threw a peek after they turn 30 but I will just have to wait and see.  I dont know how to solve your sex problem because we are all different but I feel like it is a chore to have sex because I dotn feel like it and I only did it to please the hubby and then it just hurt because I didn't wanna do it.  I found that if you make it fun and do different things that helped.  For my hubby;s birthday I bought him a cheesey sex card game as a joke from the book store and we played that and it made it fun.  Do you like to play cards.  If you have a chance (I know it is hard to do these things when you have kids) but if you like cards play for clothes, like strip poker.  That kind of stuff I like to do, may be weird, but then it doesn't make me feel the same way as I do when I am doing the dishes.  Hope this helps. 

you might be also lacking in vitermins?/ no expert but the day to day life and having a child and the normal stress of life can just put people off ..i think you both need a sitter and a few nights out and time to yourselfs to get back that loving feeling again

theres also a product from the health shop called ( horney goat weed ) its all natural they have it for women and men its ment to help

Hi there Anon

I'm so glad you posed this question cos i too, had the same problem which means you're not alone. At first i thought it was because i was pregnant, then i thought it was cos we have a baby and i'm too tired out. Sex was the last thing on my mind and obviously it used to cause problems in my marriage. My hubby was discouraged and becoming a bit distant , and i hated it.

this is what we did to sort our problem...

Firstly, realise the importance of love-making to your husband. Think about what its absense has done to your relationship and fact that if you dont work towards a change , the problem will always linger.

No excuses!!!!

Learn to relax and calm down. you have to speak to yourself and get motivated.

Make quiet time for just the two of you. Dont make excuses about the baby. Get someone to help you take care of the child.

Wear sexy undies, put perfume on , style your hair and apply some make up. Looking good makes you feel good. Pay attention to your appearances. Look attractive for your partner and feel attractive. no excuses.

Start of by getting used to just ''playing'' only. the sense of touch has a great effect. We used a feather, turned the lights down, layed a blanket on the floor and enjoyed the moment.

It takes time but keep trying. choose a body part each night for the other to massage.  have turns to do this and rediscover and appreciate each others bodies.

you and your partner have obviously created an issue in your life, so you have to communicate this with each other. find the right time to talk about this.

we spoke about it and even argued about it. i always felt pressurised, he always felt neglected. after some effort and committment we're now spontaneous with each other at any time of the day, not only at night.

hope i've helped.

All the best.....       

 

Hi there Anon

I'm so glad you posed this question cos i too, had the same problem which means you're not alone. At first i thought it was because i was pregnant, then i thought it was cos we have a baby and i'm too tired out. Sex was the last thing on my mind and obviously it used to cause problems in my marriage. My hubby was discouraged and becoming a bit distant , and i hated it.

this is what we did to sort our problem...

Firstly, realise the importance of love-making to your husband. Think about what its absense has done to your relationship and fact that if you dont work towards a change , the problem will always linger.

No excuses!!!!

Learn to relax and calm down. you have to speak to yourself and get motivated.

Make quiet time for just the two of you. Dont make excuses about the baby. Get someone to help you take care of the child.

Wear sexy undies, put perfume on , style your hair and apply some make up. Looking good makes you feel good. Pay attention to your appearances. Look attractive for your partner and feel attractive. no excuses.

Start of by getting used to just ''playing'' only. the sense of touch has a great effect. We used a feather, turned the lights down, layed a blanket on the floor and enjoyed the moment.

It takes time but keep trying. choose a body part each night for the other to massage.  have turns to do this and rediscover and appreciate each others bodies.

you and your partner have obviously created an issue in your life, so you have to communicate this with each other. find the right time to talk about this.

we spoke about it and even argued about it. i always felt pressurised, he always felt neglected. after some effort and committment we're now spontaneous with each other at any time of the day, not only at night.

hope i've helped.

All the best.....        B

 

Hi
You need to get a car cause you cant drive without one........
By that the car is the mood....when it becomes something you dont want then think of ways to spice up your life...
Luv Deb

Well we are in the reverse situation but what I think is ,for you and he to go to couple sex therapy.The other option is the more u get it the more u want it.Well it works for me.I think also he needs to get a manual or dvd on how to really pleasure a woman believe me if he learns those tricks you'll be firing on all pistons.You also need to take he pressure off yourself and he needs to court you as he would've in the begining except with more experience.good luck and may the passion be with you regards Merle

i cant offer an answer as to why you feel like this only that i have three children aged 7,4,2 and feel the exact same way
it's very hard to feel like you want sex at all after attending to a baby all day and at night i think you just want to be alone and have some time for you ,but i think talk to him all the time about it and reasure him that it's not him and hopefully you can come through this ,keeping in mind that if your not in the mood for sex it  dosn't mean you cant do a whole range of other things which is where i  try and keep the balance between none at all and keeping hubby feeling like he's not an outcast and sometimes all it takes is that to make you both feel alto better and know that your not alone sweetie i have felt like this plenty of times