thanks guys your comments defenitly make me feel beter and they all helped. I just didnt want to look rude to other people and face it most of them dont mean any harm by asking him questions as you do with all small kids but day after day I just had enough. enough explaining, enough ignoring enoug defending I now now how to deal with it.

When it gets down to the nitty gritty, you are who you are! You don't have to explain yourself or family sicknesses, disabilities or whatever may be to anybody!
People will learn to deal with it eventually, as will you the smart alec comments or questions! So just hold your head high, ignore what other people say and think and be proud of who you are and who you have as a son, also remember that in the end, they are the ones with the problem, not your son!

My  little boy is astistic and can't talk either, and people always commented on it and like you I got sick of it so now I just say he doesn't speak english and I'll just make up a language. This sounds horrible but it works and no more questions asked. Hope that helps. Good luck with him. Don't worry he'll probably end up being smarter than all of us one day. Keep your head up.

Of course you don't have to tell everybody, however, if you aren't happy with the reaction you are getting with the status quo, it is probably worth trying something different (no change is permanent), to see how you go.

I used to look after twins that were around 2 years old.  One of them was deaf, and I used to pop a wee badge on her lapel that said, I am deaf - please help me to understand you.  People seemed to make a huge effort to engage her in conversation (most of which she couldn't understand mind you).  They used more visual cues and smiled heaps and pointed out interesting things for her to look at. 

Because of this, outings became far more exciting for her, as she had more contact with others, and people didn't mind when she ignored them, or yelled loudly, as they understood.  In general, the added 'communication' with others made her far more relaxed and less temperamental in general.  It even made her more interested in her sign language as she knew it helped her to 'speak' to others.

I understand that you probably don't want to point out or label your son as different - however, he is, and he needs empathy and understanding.  There is no reason for you, or him not to be proud of his differences, and it helps others to appreciate him more if they are aware of them also.

Good luck with it.

there are days when i have no problen explaining thing to people but sometimes it just hits me and start thinking about his future and then I get some smart #@$ saying you are such a rude little boy well arnt you and its sort of well heng on If they say it to my face what do they hide, and if they can say it with me next to him what will happened when I am not with him and that kissl me. I said to my husband I will teach him some rude words and next time someone does that I will let him use them , he tells me I am nuts.

You could just say, " Oh... It doesn't look like he feels talking to you today " and just leave it at that.. Turn the conversation to the weather, Im sure shop assistants have enough of the weather... Pay back

If you don't feel that you have to explain this to every body you could just polietly say he is very shy and leave it at that, it the person is very rude about it of your child's manners don't take it the wrong way, strangers just feel that they have to give you there opinion, just feel confident in the knoweledge that you are doing a great job. 

i hear you, i can deffinately relate to that not in the exact same way but in similar ways for eg when my son james was diagnosed with leukemia many years ago he looked terrible when he was haveing chemo and the looks people gave me and the comments i got, i was getting real sick of explaining and then when i did it was "oh you poor thing" and bla bla bla i hated that some people just need to grown up and mature a little and think about what they say, the only advice i can give you is to egnor them and get it in your head that they are only people you meet out and about and you'll probably never have to see them again so just egnor them or maybie even just say quickly "he has a hearing problem" and leave it at that short and sweet hopefully that will shut them up, i hope i didn't sound to forsfull there its just i understand how you feel

I agree that we should not need to explain our child’s behaviour to everyone, but perhaps educating people to their needs will pave the way for greater understanding of disability in the community.

My autistic grandson will not talk to people unless he wants to; at times he really acts out, screaming, throwing things etc, if he gets upset due to sensory overload. It can be very embarrassing & there’ve been occasions where my daughter & I have had people tell us that we should learn to control our child, etc. We carry a card saying ‘Thankyou for being a part of this Autistic Awareness’ demonstration – Information on Autism can be found at http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/autism/detail_autism.htm  

A similar type card could be designed for you to carry if you don’t feel comfortable talking about your sons hearing problem – I’ve found most people when they realize there is a reason for a child’s response (or lack of response) are quite understanding.

In our case, we’ve learnt to go to the same stores all the time. The staff are terrific & have taken the time to learn how to handle our little one. If he has a melt down, they are aware that it is mostly due to his autism & not because he is rude, obnoxious or plain naughty.

 

My daughter dosn't have any speach problems but because of her ITP she was constantly covered in bruises from head to toe so people were always stopping me ( complete strangers ) and asking what was wrong with her. They would look at both my daughters and see one obviously unwell so they would ask. I figured that by explaining to them what is wrong they would be informed about ITP and the really rude ones went quiet very quickly ( which I have to say was satisfying ) .

I hope this helps

 Lexi xxx

My neighbour has a little boy who is 4 and is far below where he should be for vocabulary.  I understand him more now that I have been around him.  He has hearing problems that will last his lifetime, but is learning now alternative ways of communicating.  It seems that his mom has run into the same problems as well with strangers.

Might I suggest that you teach him very basic sign language?  Simple signs are easy too learn, even for toddlers, and should eliminate any further questions from strangers.  The stranger will most likely be too embarrased to ask further, or may be in a similar situation to which you have now opened the door to learning about.

 

My 3 year is the same way, I don't worry about it because I understand him and at his age if he says more than 10 words and understands everything you say, i mean if you ask him to get the milk and he does that he is where he should be for his age.  Now if you still don't feel right I would have him tested.  I am from alberta, canada and here the public health nurses can do that. Just ask.