Only you can know if you love your kids is but my guess is YES YOU DO!  As soon as they're gone you pine for them.  Then, once you've had them for a few days you find yourself getting frustrated.  This is parenthood.  I'm not a single Mum but I look after my toddler alone from 7.00 in the morning to 7.00 at night.  Some days I want to cut my throat by the end of the day and my daughter just irritates the hell out of me.  But then her father comes home and puts her to bed and an hour after she's gone to sleep I have to stop myself from going into her room, scooping her up and cuddling her to death.  Just that hour's break from the relentlessness of looking after little ones is enough to ease the tension and you get in touch again with all of that overwhelming love that you do feel.  Don't give up.  Your kids deserve to be with you half of the time and you deserve to have them whether it's frustrating and hard work or not. 

you love your children. being a single parent is HARD work. When you are a part of a couple you have someone there to share the load.. when you are on your own.. its just you... and  it's tiring. i feel the same sometimes, my ex has the kids every second weekend..and by the time its time for them go with him for the weekend.. im ready to say bye to them for 2 days.. please dont think you dont loveyour kids..youre a singlemum doing a 2 person job.. you shouyld congratulate yourself instead of the great job you do!.. xoxo.

ps.. if you want to talk about your feelings re: your splt.. feel free to email me. because i know those feeling ALL too well!

probably we all feel like that sometime . You dont have the choice of saying I cant help you now I am cooking go ask whoever, so they only have you to run around every day and thats presure. its not that you dont love them its the constant presure that does it

This sounds like me 6 years ago... my hubby and I broke up (I couldn't take the emotional abuse anymore and told him to leave). He went to live with his mum 30 mins drive away and he had the kids every weekend for two months.

I found it really difficult to cope with the kids and got so depressed that I felt they'd be better off without me in their lives - I was under pressure from him and the kids themselves to let the kids live with him (the emotional abuse got worse for a while, which I didn't think was possible, then it eased back when I became indifferent and he realised it was no longer affecting me). He is a great dad, he just wasn't happy like me and we took it out on each other.

Anyway we switched it around where I had the kids every second weekend and they lived with him and his mum for the rest of the time.

I felt like an utter failure as a mother and was so guilt-ridden. I was really enjoying single life too and when they came to stay they were so angry and miserable and the two older kids hated me (my youngest cried when she left me - I cried too, alot). It was a really desperately unhappy time for all of us. This went on for another two months before things changed and we worked out our issues... and we got back together.

The thing is, it's such hard work being a parent and you can pick up on the kids' emotions (as well as the ex-partner's). It's very easy to feel such guilt and angst and worry and depression that you can get lost in it.

I am sure that you love your kids (I did, even though I felt rejected because they "chose" him over me) and I think it's important to acknowledge that they are hard work and that it's okay to not like them. It doesn't make you a bad mother! Search for a good counsellor.

We mothers beat ourselves up when we are less than "perfect" and feel less than loving about our kids, and always think there must be something wrong with us. Society has set it up so that it's normal for the father to leave and be a part-time dad, but there must be something wrong with mothers who can't cope or are part-time mums.

Good luck.

I think that you do love them, I think you know that you do, but you are not FEELING it right now for probably a huge variety of reasons.  When I had postnatal depression I didn't FEEL depressed, I simply didn't FEEL anything at all.  I knew what I was supposed to feel at certain times, and so went through the appropriate motions, but never felt a thing, except guilt of course, that one never seems to leave you alone does it.  I'm thinking that you might be suffering from depression and I think you should see your GP and have a chat.  If they can send you to a free therapist or even a group therapy do it like it was a religion & your the head honcho.  I JUST went through this, I have been off my meds for 7 weeks and I feel like my pre- pregnant happy most of the time coping well self.  It took 6 months of meds and a group therapy group weekly and a personal therapist, home work and everythign, but I find I use what they taught me, when I start having negative thoughts.  I'm probably sounding like a recovering alcoholic or something, but I have my life back and I know KNOW I love my daughter.  I feel cheated and robbed of the bonding I didn't get at her birth or her first 6 months, but I can't worry about that now, because today I truely loved and enjoyed her as I did yesterday and the day before etc.  It's like dreinking sweet water when you've been without in the desert, it's the best thing ever and I want that for you.  If it is depression you can fix it.  Also just a note as you mentioned your enjoying your freedom etc. Alcohol and other drugs increase the potential and the effects of depression as it is a chemical imballance in your brain.  Just thought I'd let you know.  I do wish you the best of luck.  Hang in there & get all the help thats out there to take.

Yes you do love your children. otherwise you would not be questioning the way you feel. I also can get the feeling of having enough and it is usually in a 4 week cycle (no not to correspond with my period) I get to a point where I feel like I am constantly chasing my tail and need some time out. I have learnt that this does not make me a bad parent or mean that I don't love my child it just means that i need sometime as myself. All that you are doing to looking forward to this time this doesn't mean that you don't enjoy being with your children, just that you enjoy your time as yourself. Allow yourself to be both mother and you and stop feeling guilty.

IF you didn't love your children you wouldn't be here asking us for advice or be concerned as to how they would be feeling. Children need to be raised in a loving environment, and if you didn't love their father, you did the right thing by walking away!
Like Merle said, love will come naturally and can't be bought sold or forced! Give yourself some time to adapt to the change of environment, seek some help from a counsellour and see what happens from there!
Perhaps do some fun family activities, but if money is tight, do something that is low cost but that is fun! You will do fine, don't worry about what you had in the past, its gone, let go of it, just give your children what you can!
Best of Luck
Love Kayla.

I really think you need time to heal and readjust to your new life.Sometimes as Mothers we become so caught up in being the perfect  wife and Mother that we lose ourselves.....this can be a reason we leave our marriage.I think it is normal after going through what you have to feel like living in the fast lane for awhile.I think counseling may help.Stop pressuring yourself to feel maternal.The more you force it the harder it will be.....Love is a natural occurrence it cannot be bought forced or sold.I don't think your kids would be better off with out you at all I just think you need to find you again.Please do something to help you though as if unchecked you could fall into the bad habits of the fast lane and lose a sense of reason and responsibility.I wish you well and all the best in your new life regards Merle

I believe you do but I also believe that you have gone through a stressful time, separation from your husband has a grief period...all you hopes, desires, wants and needs were suddenly changed regardless of who made the choice to end the relationship. It takes time to come to terms with it, initially when the kids go you have a brief respite from that grief and uncertainty. youre happy when the kids come back but the slowly reality sinks in and your back to the stresses of reality. It is also possible that you may have some depression and it would be my advice that you see your gp and go through everything openly and honestly he may recommend a counsellor. Once you have unravelled what you are feeling and why you will be able to take steps towards resolving your issues.