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cosleeping
my kids sleep with me and my husband. Alot of people have been mouthing off about it, that its not healthy. I think my boys are fine, will it really hurt my boys in the longrun? I slept with my parents a few nights a week till I was about 10. I think its fine, but I just want to know if there could be any sycological damage or something.
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External LinksNo external links found | | Related keywords: co-sleep, co-sleeping, cosleep, cosleeping |
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cosleeping
I just wanted to add that for show and tell last week, a little girl of 5 got up and introduced herself, then introduced her teddy, and told the group that this is her teddy that she sleeps with at night time. After she had finished, I asked the group if they have anything special they go to sleep with at night like a toy or a blanket. About half a dozen of them said they go to sleep with their mummy and they're pretty special people (these were children of mixed ages from 2 - 7 years) and one of them aged 5 said he has a dummy to go to sleep with. He was teased by a 7 year old until I told them to stop, but even one of the children in year 2 admitted to sleeping with mum with no one teasing about it. I think if it works do it, and you'll miss them when they stop, trust me!
As for people mouthing off, I get it all the time from people about going back to work, I got it before that from people about staying home on govt benefits, I copped it for breastfeeding a 2 year old in public, you will be criticised by people no matter what you do and so long as you are looking after their health and well being, and making them feel loved every second of the day, you are doing great!
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cosleeping
Hi, This is just my opinion based on observations and my own experience with my daughter (13 months), but I do think that the parents need to create for themselves a safe haven as they are few and far between even when children sleep every night in their own beds. Your own room might be your only retreat and I think it benefits the martial relationship to have this personal adult only space. Nuturing and protecting the marriage or partnership is right up there in the "Good Parenting" 101 rules, as if that suffers, the children suffer. I also agree with the comments made pertaining to the teachings and disciplineinvolved in teaching a child from the earliest of ages to settle themselves into a deep sleep in their own bed/ personal space. I thik this does more than the obvious which is less hassel for the parents/guardians, it DOES TEACH them to be self sufficient, sel;f discipline, inner strength, good self esteem (not having to rely on someone else) and a host of other personal developement benefits.
I personally have had the desire to have my little girl in bed with me especially when my hubby did night shift and now works away for 7 days at a time, but I have resisted MOST of the time (she has slept with me 4 times in 13 months)as I realise that it is MY want that I would be putting on her whilst it's convenient for ME. When my hubby wants his side of the bed back it would be ridiculous of me to think this would have no repercushions or neccessary transition and wh would I want to put my child through that just because I wanted her there, that's pure selfishness I realised.
I'm not saying that you were being selfish, I don't know why you began putting your kids in bed with you or how often they sleep with you etc. but I do know that there will be a time when they will be to big or to old to do it any longer and no matter how old they are there will be a transition period and this will be hard on everyone.
Why not make the rule that they can come in and snuggle in the mornings with you after sleeping the night in their own beds??? This would be a win win solution for everyone as far as I can see. You still get your family snuggly togetherness & bonding, but you have also insured that your marriage is not being placed 2nd 3rd or 4th in the list of priorities and the kids are learning some life & personal skills that are neccessary to learn.
Good Luck.
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cosleeping
hmmm i have mixed feelings about this!
Whilst its nice to be able to snuggle up to the kids of a night time, and whilst it may reduce the risk of sids, there are also many cons to it!
One being that the child WILL get clingy and turn into a mummas boy or a mummas girl! Ok so that may not be a bad thing at first, but parents and children need space!
Partners need time for romance and for love, with kids in the bed, it would be a bit hard!
You are creating a rod for your shoulders (its what i believe anyway) and i really think children should sleep by themselves, not with parents....unless sick!
It can have psychological damage, yes! I have watched someone go through this, and its not nice!
My ex's brother went through it and still is, he is now 12 yrs of age, slept with his mum from birth, still tries to crawl in to her bed through the night!
He plays up, he won't go to school, all because he wants to be with mum!
I really would suggest talking to a psychologist about this and also getting counselling to help you get through it!
Good Luck!
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). The best parts about sleeping with mum and dad? I remember the sense of security - you know that nothing is going to get you while you're sleeping (no monsters under the bed etc); and the mummy and daddy smells on the pillows....weird but that made me feel really safe. Hence, I am not averse to cosleeping. My kids all pile into our king bed each night. My son is now 7 and he sometime prefers his own space so the bed feels more roomy now, which is nice also. So you see, they don't stay in your room forever... they grow up. And then they move out... so to me, it's all very short so enjoy your babies while you can!
Lexi xxx
