Yes...all excuses.  I know why.  They feel like people are using them for their house, they said no to my brother, and they hate company..even their kids.  Bottom line is my Father has never been close to us as kids, my mum always held everything together, now that she's alone with my Father, she's lost her will and just does everything he says. He gave me the excuse my mum was sick..not true, and even if it were, I do everything when I'm there..cooking, cleaning, ect.   I think parents should know you're a mum/dad till the day you die.  Not until you're too tiered, your kids have grown, or you don't feel like it anymore.  Words and actions are hurtful and can scar your kids forever.  Thank goodness the cycle stops with me.  My kids have,  and will, come first in my life till the day I die.   Maybe thats why its so devestating to have this happen to me.  Not to be valued, and rejected by your parents  is an aweful feeling for a child/adult.  I've always known this, but you tend to forget or make excuses when you live away, and hope they have changed.  They havent.  I know the situation, and will stop looking for that approval and just do my own thing.  Thanks to everyone who helped with their advice.  I appreciate it.