Sorry that you are in this environment.  Demestic violance is not acceptable.  Look deep inside yourself and know what you want.  The Journey is long and hard,  If you know what you want then you can focus on the future.  You mentioned that you have children,  If the children are in this environment it makes it even harder for them.  Have your children and yourself seen a counceler.   These people are trained to help you and your kids.  Maybe if you can prove that it is affecting your children you can have an order to keep him from your childrens home.   Sorry , there are so many ways that domestic affects us all,  please concentrate on your children and see where you go from there.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING,, All you have to say is that you FEAR  for YOUR LIFE and the LIFE of YOUR CHILD.

I agree with everything that has been said it is all good advice, you need professional help- 1st. you need to go to the police and explain your situation and if you tell them you are in  FEAR for your LIFE they have to act on that. 2nd. women's shelters would be ideal for protection even for a short term until all the legal side of your problems are sorted out. They are also a great source for the right numbers to organisations who can help you financially ( which i'm sure is a major concern in your situation) but rest assured their are organisations out there that will help you.

Your first and foremost thought should be the safety and welfare of yourself and child. When your in a situation as yourself you feel like your backed into a corner with no way out because you have no where to go, you don't want to leave your home, you have no money, you feel that on-one out can help you and your scared.

You have to draw on some inner strength ( i am more than willing to give you some of my strength to get you through this ordeal) and believe it when your minti friends and i tell you that their are people out there willing to help you and your child. Just take that first step it's a giant one, i know,POLICE, SHELTER, LEGAL AID.

Please take that first step, my thoughts are with you, and my heart aches for you, knowing the situation your in, be brave for your child and take one step at a time. I'm here if you need someone to talk too.

Kindest Regards Janice

Well I was in the same predicament with 3 children. Do you have family if so let them help you and get a restraining order out on him but stay where he doesn't know for a couple of months so he  has time to get his things together and move out until you both go for what you want.You must think of yourself for the childrens sake or you don't know what goes through there minds at the time or any time for that matter. Please seek help there is no need to live in fear I know I did for eight years and that is no good for you and the children as one day he may turn on the child

material things are just that even know we have worked hard on getting them they are replaceable ,, your life and your childs life isnt nore is your sanity.. you really have to get out ,, wheres your family and friends on this? what other have said is good advice shealters do whatever it takes for your and your childs safety avos anything everything

in the end you cant put a price on both of your lives against a house not worth it

i agree get out slyly pack the most important things ang get who cares about the other stuff work that out later with lawyers you and your childs saftey is more important than your stuff if you think that you have no where to go and or scared of your saftey get on a plane or a bus or train and go in hiding for a while

love we would like to see you still on minti alive not reading the paperdead

i am sorry i said that but hey it is happening alot

Get yourself out of there   , there are women sheetltes to can go to  and he can't get to you there    and there are poeple to gudie you thought .  I put the house on the market and move .Go and get avo out on him where he can't come need you or the porperty   and if you have a moblie  get one so he can't phone you either on that.

Your own life and childs seems to be  hell  .Your child will cope better away from this person then staying there .

What ever you  deside i wish you all the best    for you and your child . Hugs two  you both

Hey there sweet heart,I am so crushed you are going through this.I would take refuge in a womans shelter and put your home on the market and move interstate.You also need to take out an avo against this monster.Most of all sweety you need to draw all your strength together to make this move.You can always find a reason to go but if your heart is not in it you can find 10 to stay.You owe it to you and your child to get out of this situation,if you would like my personal support u can minti mail me and I will support u as much as possible

Forget the mortgage, forget its your house, your low income, the familiarity of your home for your child etc (for the moment).  Think about the most important thing in your life.. the safety and well being of you and your child.  Please reliese that  you should never, never, never take the risk to stay another minute in the same room with this person no matter how you justify it.  This only spells danger.

Go to the police and discuss your situation.  They can find somewhere safe for you and your child to go and you can work with police to get this man arrested and taken out of your home.  You can also apply to get an AVO against him.  Even if it means that you need to sell up and move for your own safety, please don't put yourself in danger for another minute.

Just reading your story brings me to tears to think what a horrible situation you have got into because of this man.  I truely hope you take my advice and have the courage to end this nightmare.

Good luck

If ur in oz when u call the police ask them to contact DVConnect and they will ship u off to a shelter then from there u can ask to be transferred to somewhere else. where u can start a new life. Itll be hard but you will have support and guidance from experts. God bless. xx

oh, youre in a relationship with my ex, are you? lucky you. lol

seriously though, what about a women's refuge? youd be surprised at how many of these there are, and you'd most likely be able to find one near your child's school. depending on where you live of course.

i dont know where you live or how much you know about shelters, but if you want to minti-mail me please feel free to do so, i promise i wont say a word to anyone, i know your privacy is the most important thing at this time, trust me, ive been there plenty of times.

shelters are usually not known by the public, unless your partner finds you out on the street somewhere and follows you, theres no way he can find where you are. when you tell the social workers there whats going on, if you need to sell your house, (and we all know this can take a while) the social workers can give you special consideration and let you stay there for an extended period of time.

oh and in case you are worried that living in a refuge for a while isnt a good idea, becuase of the people they attract and they usually arent the nicest places, -its a myth. yes, refuges usually attract people on the pension, from housing commission and that have drug dependencies, but thats not always the case. you will find these people anywhere! if you steer clear of them theres no way they can come and hit you up for money and smokes which you will never see again, and you never know, you may just find a light in the dark there and get quite close to a nice person thats in the same situation as you.

i couldnt have gotten to where i am if it wasnt for hte help of women's shelters.

let me know if you need any more info. xo

Ok, I don't know what country you live in, but I do know that in the united states they have these Underground Escape type things for women in situations like this.  They may be difficult to access, but if you look hard enough you might just find one.  They will give you and your child new ID, somewhere to live, etc.   But you have to cut all ties to your life.  I know you have a house and mortgage and all that, but when the safety of your child is at stake it seems like it might be your only option when dealing with a psychotic man who could potentially kill you and leave your child parentless or worse kill you both.  Find a womens shelter, not to live in per say but to access counselling and it may be your link to this underground railroad.  It is a very drastic step but if you have no other way out, it might be your only safe passage to a new and safe life.  Good Luck to you, I hope you find your way.
Sarah

for the sake of your safety and the safety of your child then please leave I understand that it isn't as easy as it sounds but there must be a way. I'm not sure of where you are from but in the UK we have womans refuge who can organise a way out and somewhere to go to so if you know that your country has a similar organisation please contact them. The safety of your child is more important then having a father figure around especially one that acts in this manner (and is coward enough to hide it behind an illness) I wish I could suggest more and help more but at the moment this is all that comes to mind, I hope you have a happy ending to this situation and sometimes it can take some emotional pain to get there.

Love Tink x