Try not to smack your kids as this only teaches them that when they feel out of conrol of frustrated it is ok to hit someone. Try to have realistic expectations of your chn. To me it sounds like what a lot of parents go through. Instead of calling it the "naughty spot as this labels the child. Call it  "time out". When your child misbehaves they have time out depending on their age eg: 4years = 4mins. After the time is up explain why they were there give them a big hug and tell them you love them.

Good luck

thankyou to everyone who has given me such great advice you are all wonderful and i will talk to my hubby and tell him all the advice that i have been given and come up with a plan we will try to become more consistent as i think no i know that is the problem that we  have. thankyou thankyou again.  

I have done a triple p course (positive parenting- no smacking ect) which is a great option especially if your husband is on your side and can go to the courses as well. It runs over 4 weeks 2 hr session (no kids but). If you go you learn positve stuff and its not until the 3rd session that you actually learn discipline stuff but a lot of the bad behaviour goes already and what you're left with is only the really tough stuff.

Anyway its a free course run by community health and I highly recommend it. As for family perhaps some of them might leave you alone if they see evidence of how hard you are working to make it work. Smakcing is not the ultimate solution for kids problems. Some kids respond others don't so if you can find a way without smacking that works well then thats great. Stick to your guns- you are doing a great job.

Well Id love to give you some advice but I think everything has been said that I was going to say. Great going Minti this was sorted out quickly and effectively!!

Maybe for your older child, if the naughty corner doesnt work, could you try exclusion instead?

An exclusion zone is somewhere quiet and free of distractions where your child can sit and think about what they did wrong. Very similar to the naughty corner, but in a very low-traffic area. Some examples could be

• The dining room (provided there is nothing on your dining table that they can break)
• Standing behind a closed front door
• Sitting on the bottom stair if you have a bi-level house (provided the stairs are not near the loungeroom etc)
• In the laundry with the door open so long as there are no nasty chemicals that your child can get into.

Once again as already mentioned, getting your child to take time out for however many minutes their age is, is the key to not letting them get bored, which is when they will act up again if you leave them there too long. They must stay there the full (X) minutes without playing up, before they are allowed to go and play again. Some say its tough love, but its proven to work.

Your family had no right to tell you to smack your child more. It is not their place to discipline your children and I cant stand it when people try and discipline mine. That is you and your husband's right as parents and noone else can take that away from you as that is the one prime example of how we mould our kids into being the lovely little angels they are.

It sounds like you and your husband have made a great decision.  Now you need to explain your parenting decision to your relatives, and advise them that for it to be affective, their support and assistance would be appreciated. 

I am sure they are great kids and not naughty all the time - however, they will sense that something is up if the family doesn't present a united front, and this may encourage them to act up.

I sincerely hope that your family respects you enough to help you with your choice of disciplining your children.  Best of luck! 

persistance persistance persistance with all parties involved... rellies too if you tell them often enough they will eventually learn just like kids do... any way you deal with your childrens dicipline plan needs to be consistant even at other peoples places and needs to be followed up ie. alwase the same without fail. cause if your kids or your rellies smell a break in you persistance they will mine it till they get their way... do not falter from you plan, and it will sink in. best of luck :)'s for you

I don't know if it was by the grace of god, or I was just lucky,  but both my children were very well behaved, and rarely acted out.   I can share with you  what I did... First and formost, you have to be "on" every second.  As soon as you see a behaviour you don't like or approve of you take them by the arm, give it a squeeze, look into their eyes and say YOUR BEHAVIOUR IS NOT ACCEPTABLE DO YOU UNDERSTAND?  If they talk back or continue the behaviour take them somewhere quiet just the two of you.   Why are you behaving like that?  Thats not like you, what is the matter? If they answer back or continue their acting out,  put them on a time out, where it can be monitored and for five minutes at best.  I always used to ask them afterward...do you understand why mummy is angry?  It encourages dialoque and your child will share his frustarations with you.   I think the best thing you can do with a child is to be consistent, follow through, and have a routine.  Discipline gives them boundries, boundries  make them feel safe, safety gives them the sense of well being.  It may take a while for them to get used to the new "you"  but stick to it, they soon understand the new rules.  Its going to be a full time job for a week or two, after that, they'll understand how things work and you can relax a little and enjoy rather than go out of your mind. Good luck.

you do NOT have to smack your kids to make them behave, i promise you.  i'm writing a little article for you right now.  hang in there!  :)

firstly they are your children not anyone elses and if you feel uncomfortable using smacking as disapline then don't use it, i think you have got it down packed if they are naughty send them to the naughty corner, if really naughty and you feel they need a smack then you do.

 the theory we used at daycare which was "a no smacking zone whatsoever" if the child did something wrong we had to sit them down explain to them what they did wrong, give them a warning and then if they did it again they were sent to the naughty corner. (we had to explain it quickly and down to the point as we all know how well a 2 year olds attention span last for lol) but depending on the age is how long they were sent to the naughty corner. so if they were 3 they were sent for 3 minutes, if they were 4 then it was 4 minutes and so on. after there time was up depending on what it was if it was hurting another child or not sharing they would apologise.

the key is persistance, if they went away before there time was up they were sent back. persist and you will get there if you little one is throwing tantrums my suggestion would be to ignore her and just pick her up put her in the naughty corner and eventually she should calm down. i think you are doing a fabulous job and don't let others tell you any other way. personally i think the naughty corner works far better then samcking as the child has time to think about what they have done and what the consequences will be if they do it again.

don't worry about what others think and remember we were all children once, i know some of the stories my mum told me about being an absolute brat. just remind them they to used to be a child and all children act up at one point. remember they are your and your husbands children and no one elses a mother always knows best, good luck and good job. hope i have helped a bit and not confused you lol. Britt xx

You do not have to use spanking at all if you don't feel right doing it. As far as disciplining your kids, if the methods you are using now doesn't work, perhaps it is time to employ other techniques (with no spanking). There are plenty of techniques out there and all of them work to some degree, but the key thing is to be consistent.

Good luck!

Wise relatives only offer up advice when asked, and you dont even have to take it then, so un-sought instructions definitely DONT have to be taken, no matter how much you love them.

You choose your own family rules, be determined but polite with both your kids and your relatives. The more consistent you are now with both kids and relatives the quicker they will realise you mean business and get into line.

"I am establishing a no smacking zone and my husband agrees"

Well done, you have discussed the disciplining of your children with your husband, you have thought of a constructive plan that will support this decision,ie the naughty spot, and you have let the rest of your family know of your decision. The naughty spot may need practice or modification but it is a sound method.

So what else do you need to do? Calmly tell the rest of your family AGAIN that you have made a decision. Sometimes older family members overlook the fact that you have grown up. Interesting that you say they have "told you" not discussed or advised. You know what is right for your family and your family means you,your husband and your children.