Hi,

He sounds like hes a little depressed.  Lack of interest in things, not bothering to look for more work..could this be possible?.  Maybe hes in a rut and finding it hard to get motivated to get out.  Talk to him about how you are feeling.  Make it clear how you feel and that his current behaviour is unfair on not only you but your whole family.

Hi There ,

One of the things we are all really capable of doing is making excused for why NOT to do things . Finding the reasons why we should dig deep and look at ourselves to fix the problems is never so easy as it can be very confronting . But this is the way life is and always has been . Running away from issues never sorts them out . But neither would bringing another child into the world into a not so happy atmosphere . There is a very real possibility that your husband may be going through a crises of some kind or simply that he cannot be bothered anymore  with much . Marriage is always about shared responsibility . My husband and I always talk about issues and our feelings , never on paper . Some may find this confronting and some may not be talkers but you ask any older couple who have been together 30 , 40 , 50 years and more . They will tell you that comunication is the key even if we sometimes don,t like what the other has to say .It seems to me that you may have much bigger issues to sort out than having another baby right now . All the very best to you for a much happier life and brighter future .

D

Hi
Sorry but sounds like the only reason he really doesn't want another child is he loses his meal ticket and have to become the bread winner again and he is happy sponging of you.....
Like you said he spends it on anything and everything
When he worked did he spend HIS money on the same stuff or is it jsut yours.....
Sit down read your own question as if I wrote it and tell me what you would answer
You know what you have to do
Heres a hug for support
Luv Deb

I think You and He need to get away and find your feelings for each other again.......It seems like he could be in a rutt Men get into these too.Try and find ways of positively encouraging him to go back to work.Perhaps he could go into another field of work? As for more children this is something you both need to be comfortable with.May be you could both agree to take a 6 month time out on that issue and then think on it very carefully weighing up all the pro's and con's this way neither of you feel that the other is just thinking of themselves. Best wishes Merle

Maybe you could write all your feelings down in a letter for your husband, it's a bit less confronting than talking and you can tell him everything without getting interrupted.

Give it to him as you're walking out the door and tell him that you love him and you just want him to know what's going on in your head.

Hopefully when you get home you'll both have a chance to sit down together and talk about it and come up with some solutions together. Maybe even suggest that he write you a letter in reply so you know what's going on in his head.

I hope this helps.