I hate that selective deafness! Along with what everyone else has said, the most effective way I've found to elicit a response from my daughter after I've politely tried to get her to talk to me is to chose the wrong answer, eg I know she likes stripey socks most days but some days not, so if she wont answer when I ask her which pair, I'll deliberately say "Oh, I guess the plain yellow ones". Usually gets her talking!

kathryn

My girls do this to me sometimes but not as often anymore since I got down to their level and told them with a stern voice that when I ask them something I expect an answer.  With mine the TV is a big distraction so I would turn it off, yes they'd cry but it got their attention.

i am having exactly the same problem with my kids. I give them 3 warnings then if they keep going i give them a five minute time out. If they still dont listen they have something taken off them. My kids are 5 and 2 i find this usually works but there are days that nothing seems to work i just walk away for 5 minutes to regain myself and cool off then i sit down and talk with them about their behavior. Good luck with it

I have an advice article called the 10 commandments to good parenting. One of the 10 commandments is to respect your children and talk to them kindly (not being judgmental at all when i say this) and yelling is not kind.
try to talk to your children and act towards them how you wish to be treated!
If you wish to read the advice article you can find it here

Ok heres my 2 cents and u can take it or leave it.
Stop. When they are annoying you and your about to explode (I know what thats like) take a deep breath. Go get a glass of water or something.
Try not to yell. Instead get down on your knees. Hold them by the hands or upper arm and say talk to them. Make sure you have their eye contact and your not raising your voice.
Tell them you want them to listen to you and not to do what it is your not liking. Direct them onto something positive. At 2 and 4 the corner will surely work wonders. It has for me. A warning that you dont like their behaviour and then if it continues then the corner it is and tell them WHY they are going there.
What is their routine like? Kids with the same routine every day are more tollerent and settled.
Remembering that you have a 2 and 4 year old that are of a different sex maybe try  giving them DIFFERENT activities to do. This is a big age gap for them to be able to play together for long periods.

do u get down to their eye level and make eye conact with them ....... i know it sounds silly but you may find you have more luck that way

Hun this is the real world -the behavior in what u have said is VERY normal sorry to say but maybe Parenting Help will help as some health clinic have them and they do give great advice and have general chat-but it will get better as long as u dont give up Hold your head up high and feel postive u r doing a great job Take care Tracey