Why is it that grandparents feel they can do what they want? My mother got in from the plane tonight at 9:05pm, she went to visit my brother then came here at about 10:15. She woke my daughter up to tell her that she was here, but she only stayed 5 minutes. Sure, she did a nice by buying us something when she went away but did she have to wake my daughter up to show her? Now I have a 3 year old who is tired and cranky and knows she wants to go to bed but is too tired to do anything. She's on my lap at the moment, so I'm going to bed with her. Just wondering if anyone else has this experience with family members or am I being ungrateful?
no your not being ungrateful your mother is being inconsiderate, my husbands family knows that we have struggled to get our daughter into a good sleeping routine but yet they insist on calling the home phone at 10pm,11pm,& sometimes 12am.
Last night my sister in law called at 10pm. I have asked them not to call after 7pm but they didn't get the picture so I have had t resort to taking the phone off the hock, now they will try the house phone but we don't answer because it is off the hook so they call our mobiles and if we don't answer our mobiles they will call the house phone again & leave really nasty messages. So once again you are not being ungrateful.
My father in law used to do this with my son when he was a baby. He would rock up unannounced and then talk really loudly and slam doors (by accident of course NOT!) so that my son would begin stirring and the father in law could then say "oh look, hes waking up...I will get him, u sit down" The cuddle would only last 5min cos he would have to go or my son would begin crying and he would be promptly handed back to me!
It would be hard reading this if u didnt have parents as one reader wrote below as I guess u would be happy to put up with it if it meant having them in your life again so I guess you need to either bark at them and tell them to back off or gritt your teeth and put up with it.
I dont think being ungrateful even comes into it. I think it is more of a lack of respect for you in your house with your family with you calling the shots. Best of luck tho!
i have the same problem with my H2b parents except they treat my children as if their theres they really go over bored. then the other day my father in law said that i could look after the kids that he could do a better job,so now untill he says sorry he is no longer welcome at my house
I lost both my parents quite some years back, and i really do wish i had them around so they could stir me like that.... so i think yes in one sense it is being ungrateful of your mum, but in a second sense no....i think the opposite....that you are being a caring mother who just wishes for her child to be comfortable etc etc.
I think grandparents just get excited after being away from their grandchildren for a period of time and feel that the children deserve to know that when they are home, they are safe....it builds up trust and safety in the child!
Also...i would like to add....what would happen if you got a phonecall today saying that your mum had been in a terrible accident and had been killed?
It's always nice to have your mum visit you, no matter how late...because she is the one who provided for you when you were little and she is the one who loves you dearly!
You'd never forgive yourself....trust me....i still feel that i am to blame for my mums death and that was just over 10 yrs ago!
You could think of the alternative which is that what if they could not visit anymore, would you visit the impromptu visit then? My parents passed away so I envy what you have. If this only happens once in a while, maybe it's not so bad.
Maybe it is because of all the crap we did to them when we were kids this is just their way of saying gotcha...
I wish I had an answer for you. My parents I let them go for it. Only because I know it is going to be years between seeing them again. As for the hubby's folks well they know better....
you're definitely not the only one, i get the same thing in our family but in my case the grandparents feel it is they're duty to discipline my children over the top of what ever i am trying to teach them in the first place which is a total disregard of my authority with my children. i often find myself having ask them not to but in.
we also clash on they're disregard of my children's sleeping patterns often trying to convince me that it doesn't mater if matter if my children miss out on naps through the day just to go shopping. my mother still doesn't seem to realise this is why on those days by 3pm my son is bouncing off the walls.
I'm not sure what your relationship with your parents is like but i find it helpful to hypothetically turn the situation on them and think how they might have liked it if someone had done this to them when they were still raising they're children, being sure to note to them the repercussions of they're actions.(like in your case your now having to sit up to all hours with your daughter because shes cranky) , i find this works for me anyway it tends to get the grandparents thinking about the inconvenience that has been caused.
You are not being ungrateful. I know where your coming from. My father in law is constantly questioning what we are doing with our 5 month old, drives me nuts.
That happens all the time in families the best thing u can do is gently tell her what happened and say to her that u dont want any one getting her up when shes alseep and tell her u appreciate but also just b firm in a nice manner
I have the same thing going on also not with my parents as they live no where near us but its his parents
honestly it doesn't matter what your say to the grandparents they always seem to do just what they want until you end up in a screaming match with them over what should happen just try telling her that when she does come over that there is to be no waking up of the children this won't sink in to start with but in time it will but if continues just get firmed with her until she has no choice but to do as you ask it might hurt her feelings but what i think is that is better her then your child good luck your ganna need it
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