I so hear ya, sometimes I just wish my hubbie would just go away.  It's so much easier doing everything myself, without tripping over him, or listening to him complain all the time.

And 2 of the kids are his from a different marriage!

I think it's harder to deal with tantrums and such when you're not home with it all the time.  I mean, I'm home all day, if DC pitches a fit I just roll my eyes and step over him.  But my hubbie works in a relatively quite office.  When he comes home (the time when he's programmed to think it's time to relax), all h*ll breaks loose.

I just managed to have a chat with my hubbie about all this stuff, and he says that when he complains about stuff that's not done, etc., it's not because he thinks I doing a bad job, but more that he's disappointed that he's not stepping up and helping me more.  So we had the misunderstanding where I was hurt because he thought I wasn't doing a good enough job and he was angry at himself and then I'm getting angry at him to for being a jerk, and then he gets defensive.

Try and get a sitter even for a few hours each week.  Make yourself sit and talk to your hubbie about everything.  Maybe this will get some of the mis-understandings out of the way.  I think it's important to reconnect with your hubbie on a fairly regular basis; when the parents are on the same page, the kids are happier too.

Hi

Its all a lot to deal with for you and your husband. I imagine you feel as though you're holding it all together and so when your husband can't deal with it you have to carry on... I am only guessing at your feelings here.

Of course when any member of the family is working its very hard, especially if there is illness, night waking, tantrums and just general day to day happenings. However, you are a family and a team. Both of you need support from each other.

I know its always easier said than done, but perhaps it would be worth talking it all through with your husband and as some of the others here said seeing what (if any) may be at the root of the tantrums? I have a younger son, so have this joy to come. I hope you find a solution that works for you all

hi there,i agree with below its hard for the working parent to come home and deal with the kids when they are away working everyday

i no what you are going thru my husband gets angry at the littlest things but is getting better,maybe you need to seek help with your daughter and her tantrums such a little thing to destroy your relationship expecially when you love him.

seek how you can stop her tantrums post a question on here with ideas on how to try and stop them.geez i am with my kids 24/7 and have been for 9 years and i no some times i get up and go because i cannot handle them at that point of time.

as i said i feel that you need to try and sought your daughters tantrums out first before you leave your relationship.

i hope it all works out well for you