Like everything in life I believe we need to give them balance. Enough crying for them to build up some coping skills and not enough for them to think no body cares. I started the controlled crying method( I think thats what its called) from six months and its been a wonder for me but I can see how it may not be for everyone.

Immediate comforting. Wait for them to settle and not be crying before leaving the room.

Then come back to them after one minute of crying. Settle

Then come back to them after two minutes of crying and settle

Then come back to them after three minutes of crying and settle ect, ect

I dont use this method anymore as I feel he cries out for different reasons now (1 year old) but it worked great at the time and he has great coping skills enough to know that I will come to him immediatly if its urgent and after a bit if he really needs me.

 

i never tried the crying it out method, my son was quite good at going to sleep. I did however find that from about 10 weeks old my son wouldnt let us hold him till he went to sleep, like you little one he would wiggle about and cry untill he was put down.
I found that if i put him into his bed and rubbed his back or belly that this helped.
Good luck - do only what you feel comfortable with. If you dont want to let your baby cry it out then dont, and dont feel bad for it.

My daughter was not a very good sleeper from a very early age. I went through night after night of little or no sleep. Once she hit the 8 month mark I had enough so tried the crying out technique but I modified it for her. I would settle her in her cot and then sit beside it with my head down. She would cry and cry at first but all I did was put my hand on her belly and start to rub her very gentley. I combined that with some music that was really repatative playing softly in the background. It took a few goes but she finally went to sleep with me just sitting there and then on her own. All kids are different and different techniques work for them. Just be consistent with whatever you choose to do. hope this helps in some small way

xoxoxox

i hated that people used to tell me to leave my son to cry it out it was awful... my advice is get yourself really tuened in to your baby, just watch her for a day her movements her facial expressions and the sounds she makes... it will help you to recognise when she is getting tired rather than already tired and put her to bed then... stay with her for a while and sing/hum and then wave bye and leave the room quietly... it also helps to have a distraction such as a small fluffy toy for her to hold when you leave... eventually she will fall asleep... if she cries after you leave go reassure her and give her the toy back... this is what worked for us hope it helps.

There is a brilliant "Sleep Disorders" book by Richard Ferber.  I read this bbok and it saved my sanity.  I was surviving on 2 hours sleep a night when my daughter was 9 months old.  I used to rock her to sleep in her pusher - which could take anywhere up to 2 hours.  I would then take her down to her room.  But, 9 times out of 10, she would wake when I picked her up to place her in her cot and I would have to start all over again.  If I was successful in placing her in her cot, she would only sleep for 1/2 - 1 hour MAX, then I would start the process all over again.  I stopped functioning and I felt like my day consisted of me walking around on "auto pilot" all day.  I could not take any more. SO, I researched sleeping author's and found that Richard Ferber had the best information and stats written about him.

Because of his book and his methods, my daughter was going to sleep, sleeping right through the night, WITHOUT crying, in just 4 days.  I highly recommend it.

If you would like to know exactly what I did to achieve this, let me know and I will be only to happy.

Here is a site which basically explains one of his methods, which is pretty close to what I did:  http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bsleep/0,,7fp0204j,00.html  and my daughter was usually asleep withing 15 - 20 mins when the controlled crying training was happening.  good luck.  ursh

My son fought tooth and nail against sleep at that age too.  All kids are different.  Here's what we did, I guess it's the modified crying it out technique, as I can't really handle hearing my son cry for hours, but like you, he would cry no matter what we did.

So, first off, try to get into a bedtime routine.  Ours is, daddy puts his jammies on, brushes his teeth and reads him a story.  Then he sits with me and has a little warm milk.  Then I will carry him to bed and sing him a song.  Most always the same song.

I think having a routine lets baby know what's going on, but also makes them more secure.

After we put him in bed, if he cried, we'd time it.  We'd wait one minute, go back in, rub his belly, tuck him back in and leave again.  Rarely speaking, so he wasn't getting the attention he was looking for.  Sometimes we'd have to do this a few times, but after about a week, we didn't really need to do it any more.

So, we definately weren't letting him cry for hours or anything.  I don't really beleive in that, but I do think there is something to be said for giving a child the chance to learn to soothe themselves.

And I'll tell you what, he's really good at self-soothing now.  He rarely gets upset and when he does, he's really quick to settle himself.  My little bear is very confident and happy, and almost always falls asleep in my lap now, before I even get to the singing stage of our routine.

You have to do what's right for you and what you feel comfortable doing. The most important thing is to try and put her to bed as soon as she starts to get tired because once she is over tired it's so much harder.  Crying it out is an option but it has to be your choice as it's not easy.  MummaBear had some great advice but unfortunately not all kids are that easy as my oldest wasn't. He would only sleep for 30 mins at a time and never on his own and i was at my wits end, i was tired and stressed and just needed some time to myself. I tried to do the crying it out method at home but it was just too hard and i couldn't stand listening to my son cry so i decided to go to Tresillian (he was 8 months old)  where they teach you how to do it and are a great support. They teach you how to look for tired signs and how to settle them. The Midwife is there with you 100% of the time and talks you through the whole process. It was hard but worth it!!  I never regreted going and recommend them to anyone. Speak to your community nurse or Doctor if you feel this is an option for you.

Also see this advice.

Sounds to me like she is getting over-tired. I never let my daughter cry it out, but I always made sure she was going to sleep when she was tired, not overtired.  When she starts to yawn or rub her eyes or grizzle it's time to put her to sleep. My daughter went to sleep in my arms or with me next to her. She goes to sleep in her room, in her bed, with me reading a story and stays asleep now so don't let anyone tell you that the ONLY way to teach them to go to sleep is by letting them cry it out because it's just not true.  Mine is 3.5 now and is a very settled child who is emotionally secure in our mother-child relationship because I was/am always there for her.  Stick with it, if you don't wanna let her cry it out then don't.  But I would get in before she gets to the stage of screaming and wriggling away and not knowing what she wants.