As I am a little confused  Is your step daughter his daughter from a previous relationship? As others have thought she was ur child and he was the step parent.Maybe it is just that a 4 year old is less work then a 9 mnth old (the ages if i have read the information right)a four year old will play happily at the park by him/herself ,but a 9 month may cry or need a diaper change.Maybe when your  baby daughter  gets older he may like to spend more time with her and do the same with her.If she is your from previous relationship was she older when he was 1st introduced to her ,maybe looking after a baby frightens him ,I know my husband was scared of feeding ,changing our children until they reached a certain age. Sorry because i dont fully understand my advice may not be right.But yes I agree why not make it a family thing and you and your baby join them.

Maybe he feels guilty that your 1st daughter's egg donor abandoned her so is trying to make up for this.Could he be taking your eldest daughter to the park in essence to give you a break?I am just trying to put a more positive slant on the situation.I am doing this as I feel that if you keep feeling negative toward the situation it may start you resenting your eldest and this will not be good for any of you.I think also that by him be the sole carer of her in the beginning it no doubt would of formed an extremely close bond between them.He may also feel a bit of one on one attention between him and your eldest would help calm her naughty behavior,just a thought.He may also be thinking that you and your youngest could have some one on one without any interruptions.Please try and look for some positive reasons for his actions as well.I do think the family needs outings as a whole as well,just one on one time all the time is not going to strengthen the family unit so yes I agree some planned outings would be a terrific idea.All families need to play together as they are the ones who stay together.Hugs Merle

why dont you just suggest the next time he wants to go out with your step daughter just say to him ill just go get our baby and the baby things cause we would all like to go together?

im not making excuses for him ,, but didnt i read about your step daughter having a hard time with her mum?correct me if im wrong...... ( he might just be having a little father and daughter time also with her only cause shes going through alot but is not thinking about what its making you feel inside ?

but in any case a little father and daughter time is ok BUT he does also need to intergrate his outings into the whole family thing and not seperate it all the time ( if hes been doing that  all the time )

My Ex was exactly the same with my two youngest boys
Even now my 9 year old still asks why his dad doesn't like him????
In my case it was down to the older of the 2 being much easier, he is not hard work at all, very easy going, reliable and won't cause trouble or wander off
The youngest (with ADHD) was loud, impulsive, straight talking and honest, short attention span and very demanding.
Have you spoken to him about this and make it clear that not only is your daughter missing out on quality time with her father, he is also missing out on getting to know your daughter
xxx

It may be that your partner is more comfortable taking care of a child that is a little more independent. The 4 yr old is vocal, can walk & run, and may be potty trained. It may just take a little nudging on your part to have him spend some alone time w/the little one so he can learn how to handle her. Leave him alone for 2-3 hours w/the little one a few times so he can start to get used to her.  Good luck!

I would have to ask their ages and a little more information before I could really accurately and fairly answer your question.I would think at the very least it sounds as though you need to talk to him about your concerns hugs Merle