Hey wow! You really need some Time Off! The more stressed you get, the worse his behaviour is going to get; kids pick up on our tension levels & the result isn't pretty.
Its been many years since I had a noisy little tantrum-thrower so I don't know how affordable/accessible good quality childcare is these days (not family day-care; that's more like baby-sitting). I'm talking about a child-care centre w/ the little loos, little play equipment & a ratio of something like 1 (qualified) worker to 3 kids. They are miracle workers; it made such a difference to my daughter's social skills, table manners, speech etc. And gave me the time off I needed (sometimes I just went home & slept or had a bath). I wasn't sure at first so she only had 1 day a week. I bumped it up to 2 tho. I couldn't afford any more than that but it made such a difference. I had to catch 2 buses to get there.
The other thing I did was make her room completely tantrum-proof. If I was at my wits end & totally not coping, I'd make sure she wasn't hungry, thirsty, hot, cold or wet  then put her in her room so I could just go lie down with some ear-plugs & have a good cry. I'd leave the earplugs in while I washed my face, blew my nose & had a cuppa, do some deep breathing, & then (when I was calm); go & be a completely different mummy...
My friends all told me that her behaviour was much worse w/ me that when I wasn't around... I felt so hopeless! Now I know that its very common for kids to turn their worst behaviour on their mums; its a back-handed compliment... They know we are going to go right on loving them anyway; they aren't so sure of other adults. Maybe it will help to know that your son is so confident of your love... Please get yourself some time off tho; you need it!

Hi
Have faith in yourself hugs and lots of love sent your way.
You are doing a fantastic job
If you were not tired would you feel this down.
Look in the mirror and do the wiggles mirror march.....
Sing
I look in the mirror and what do i see
one beautiful person looking back at me
and i think to myself
there's no one in the world as lovely as me.
and then believe it.....
If nothing else it will make you giggle....
Head up and soldier on
Luv Deb

youre a great mum you do sooo much, dont be so hard on yourself.

with my son he can get a hand ful and hes 3 in May. when he gets cocky with me, smarty pants, doesnt want to listen , tantrums, i give no attention to him at all and  i send him by his hand so he walks like a boy to his room. I yell at him back by command that im not happy, dont upset me. etc etc it works.!  "Go and  think about your behaviour and dont mess with MAMA, coz when mama is not happy no one is!! get some attitude mum its totally cool to put your foot down and he will sooo LISTEN, hes just waiting for you to break so he can find it funny.But you wont break. its his control over you. you need to get it back.

exhaustion is where anxiety lies, you are not a failure as a mother, find something about you that means alot to you. hobbies, time for mum, get away, be selfish. i know i am sometimes!

best of love to you mum xoxo 

Hi there

What about putting your little one into childcare for just 1 day. Look at it as a "me" day where u can get things done or even crash out for a whole day of undisturbed sleep! Mmmm, sounds like heaven doesnt it!

i have just gone throught the same thing and have a wonderfull three year old and a 8 month old

please ring me  0265734394 i would love to talk to you and help and share alot of tips and information of people who can help you and where you can also go for more help and support

i realy feel for you i have had the same first hand experience

chin up and we will try and help you get through this

cheers

greaters(karen)

 

When he screams at you, don't get mad (or don't let him see you), I know its hard, but keep your cool, and say something calm like I understand that you are frustrated and you want this, but you can't, but you can (you fill in the blank). If you want to exercise, go for it. Put him in a stroller and go for a walk. If you ignore his cries (once you know they aren't anything but him being frustrated) he will get used to you exercising. Explain before you go that he will be in the stroller THE WHOLE TIME and maybe tell him if he is good he can (you fill in the blank). We have had to do this with ours (she is almost 6 months) b/c I have to go grocery shopping. I mean my husband works, and sometimes I have to run an errand and she is getting used to the stroller. Good luck. I know how you feel.

Hi you beautiful mum, I am hearing you love we all have gone through what you are going through. I have three great kids range in age of 17, 13, 11, I had my trials with them and most the time not much support. My first bit of advice too do not be affraid to say at the to of your lungs STOP THAT NOW!!!!!!, he your son is on a power struggle with you all the time,  you dont need to do the crying etc, it will not work he thinks this is cool I got her crying yippee what else can I get her to do.

With respect to the tantrums, I found the best cure for two/ three/four etc year tanties, they need to experience what you are going through, so I am going to tell you to throw  the biggest tantie you can muster. This may sound stupid but when you are shopping and really trying to concentrate there is nothing worse than a screaching kid trying to get his own way, All my kids did it and experienced the mummy tantie they tried a couple more times after that, but finding that mum has a plan to take the attention off them,  and on to mummy, so you throw your self on the floor and just lash out  you can do this at home or at the shops just , it only lasts about 10 seconds give or take a second or two.  Mummy has won this time. The one thing you need to do also is have a back up plan at all times, example tough plam/stroller very strong straps, ear muffs lots of jelly babies you need to keep up your strength. do not give the kid the lollies they belong to you and he will want them, do not give in, we all need this at time to time.

Yes this is war but you can make like a game, and as long as you dont belittle him and are fair with him, you can travel this journey in relitive peace, Now for the best, can you tell me where you husband is in all this?. because if you are not understanding with out his sperm, your son would not be here so my advice for him, pull your head in and take some of the pressure off your wife, she is a person too, just because you  are a 24/7 much you do need help and well if he wants more sex best he start to help you, and also do not use your tv as a baby sitter.

OK good luck and do ask for more help when you want we are all here for you and cheering for you too woop woop we are great mums and dads, oh and the idea you have let your self go that is not true you are tired and well kids are the hardest job in the world to do worst thing is you cant just say right going on a holiday see when I come back.

so sit on the floor do some sit up walk on the floor on your bum, bush your hair look you can look great while trying to be a mum so enjoy, have fun cya

i would suggest that you seek advise from your clinic nurse or doctor to look at ways that would help you recognise why your son is feeling like this, as some kids get bored and the only way to seek attention is to behave the way your son is.. Another idea is to put him in day care for a couple days a week, and have some you time, as there is nothing wrong with having time out for your self, also see if there are play groups in your area or mother groups you could join so that gets you out of the house and also allows your son to interact with other children... All the best and i hope you feel better soon.

Honestly I was first going to suggest seeking help from the GP for anxiety/depression.......But On thinking more carefully I think maybe you just need a break from Fin for a while(and there is nothing wrong with that)Every one needs their space and Mums/Dads tend to get so caught up in caring for their family they forget about them selve's. Could you possibly put him in day care for a couple of hours 1nce or more a week? This will give you a well deserved break and let you objectively work out whether or not you have a deeper problem.Now with master Finn......maybe you are being to accommodating to his whims,perhaps he needs a little space from you as well(in the nicest way LOL dont take offence)See I think you have to get yourself tended to before you can work on Finn,kids feed off your anxiety etc so you need to calm yourself so when he goes off you remain calm and non reactive.Hope this helps regards MERLE