yesterday i had a messege from my step daughters mother asking if i can take my step daughter on a train over a hundred miles away so she can meet me and she can have her for the day and then bring her home on the train again and expected me to pay for it its not me wanting to see my daughter and why should i trust her to bring her back without my mother and step dad even if she was playing the court order says she is to make regular contact at my step daughters home daily phonecalls and a weekly letter she does none of this please help i am confussed and dont know what to do
Hi
Tell her you cannot afford the trip and ask her to come to you and see what she says.
After all it would be cheaper and easier all round if she came to you even if you paid her fare if she is really struggling
My ex and I have a deal we either meet half way or we do one way each.
There are times he cannot afford to have them and i understand this and so do the kids.
Keep in mind although it is all about the kids not you, paying for the whole trip would take food out of everyone in your families mouths and that is not fair either.
As a lot have said see a lawyer but if you have court orders then she has to follow them or you are also in breach of them if she wants to get funny at all.
Just my thoughts
Good luck in whatever you decide.
Luv Deb
ive just been to a lawyer about my ex expecting me to pay fuel or transport my children 900kms to see him, even though ive done it in the past i have finally put my foot down.
over past 5 years have received a sum total of 5 child support payments and i cant keep footing the bill, my lawyer agrees and says that so will the court.
seeing your children is not just about emotional and physical connection, she needs to show effort financially also, the liabilities cant all be yours and if she really wanted to see her daughter nothing, not even money would stop her, my advice is speak to a lawyer or court register(free) if you already have ordrs in place she needs to stick to those or have them changed to reflect a more realistic situation.
hi emmie i would talking to your part er about this , Also get advice on where you stand legal on this . I use to pay half or we take in turns with girls taking them to there mothers place or she pick them up up from ours .I wouldn't be paying full price . I still get legal advice though just be on the safe side of things so you know where you stand and what your rights are in what to do . all best emmie
At this point in time if she is not following the rules set out by the court, I would be very careful letting your step-daughter go off with her alone! this women needs to first take responsibility for what has been mandated by the court for her to do! If she is willing to comply than after a period of time say 6 months if she has proven herself, than you could make plans for a supervised visit! Just remember to take into consideration the feelings of your step daughter, has anyone bothered to ask her if she want contact with her mother? take it slow and easy you do not want to damage the relationship that you have with her! If this women cannot even take the time to call her own child then I would have serious reservations about letting this child go off alone with her anywhere. What does your husband have to say about all of this? Tread lightly and be very cautious!
Hi Emmie, could you not discuss this with her and come to some sort of understanding? i don't think its fair for you to pay the full fair, maybe you both could meet 1/2 way. Although if she is not doing as the court order says then maybe she needs to come all the way over to you and spend time there, i would discuss it with her and let her know you have concerns about her traveling. Goodluck
I agree. Most parent pay half. If you could talk to her and get her to pay half would you be happy with it?
I know its annoying when one parent wont stick to their custody orders... i go through that... but every visit should be encouraged, even if it is irregular
Good luck :)
the deal was she pays to see kylie and she can either stay with kylie in her room if she stays sober long enough or we will pay for her to stay in a b+b
it would seem that she should pay to see her daughter if she is doing nothing else responsibly, there has to be some show of committment, whether monetary or other, get some advice and stick to your guns, its not fair for your daughter to have an on and off again mum.
firstly i would talk to my hubby first about this, but i would make her come and get her or go to her place with the daughter.
you put that she isnt even keeping to her side of the court order so i wouldnt let her go anyway, but this is me.
I would also seek legal advise on the matter too, just so you know where you stand.
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