I'd go, yes it will be uncomfortable but these are the bad parts of dealing with families. Try to fill your time while you're there with other activities so that you're there - but not there all at the same time. Have you're activities set up nice and early (like before you get there), so that you're mother in law doesn't think you're deliberately jumping ship to get away from her.

she sounds like a dragon if she dont wanna see you i would say dont let your dauughter go

Dont go!!! I think you are doin the right thing maybe because i do the same. I dont want to put anymore stress onto my self bec of her and i dont want my hubby and i to fight bec she had stressed me out and im not going to put my precious little gals through that either so i JUST STAY AWAY. Special occ sometimes we have to sit in the same room but speak only if i have to , she has her other daughter in law to talk to.B4 you dont go have to talk to hubby and see this view is on you not going? If its going to cause trouble come to some quick and short arrangement.You have to look out for your self and your family and that you kids and hubby. Good luck with it all and dont let her get to you.

Why are you stressing about a visit that is over 12 months away. Build on your husband standing up for you - very very difficult for them to do. They like to please their mums. She is not a big part of your life - just the visit is such a marathon when it comes around. By then perhaps you could stay 5 days go off for 2 days and come back. Would break up the tension. You and your husband could also do more together as a couple and let grandma enjoy her granddaughter. She will mellow. She is adjusting to seeing you both as aprents as well. Move on forget it, you apologised for swearing at the airport forget her grumps. Work together and put things in place to reduce the tension next time. Stand together as husband and wife visiting.

well said llmunchkin .. you partner is the one that should also be putting a stop to this ,, my mil enjoys finding faults with anything i do in a sly way right down to me having a bottle of cold water to mix with boiled water to make up a bottle ,, i get do you only give him bottled water he needs tap water cause it has flouride in it etc,,,,,,, he has told her to stop or we wont be going there

Well, who suffers if you stay away?  If you are ok with leaving your baby (who will be a toddler by then), in the care of your hubby and your outlaws, without worrying or stressing, then by all means stay away.  If you think that you might be concerned about your child's welfare, then you will have to be with your child... But will you have to visit?  I think NOT.

Yes, grandparents play an important role in their grandchildren's lives - however that time spent is a privilege, not a birth right.  If your OUTlaw (MIL) truly wishes to have a relationship with her grandchildren, she is going to need to start to respect the mother of them. 

You have got 15-18months to prepare your husband - to back you up and assist you in this endeavour - and your OUTlaw to make sure that you have a wonderful holiday when you are there.  Make a list and go over it carefully outlining how you would like to be treated, and the type of situation you would like to experience next time you visit.  Include some time-outs for yourself, like some sight seeing, any other activity you like, or a pampering - that will give you all some breathing space, and make it more special for you.

Keep the OUTlaw up to date with a newsletter (email or however), each month, so that she is aware of your lifestyle and the progress of her grandchild.  That way, when you get there, she will be better prepared (or she will have no excuse not to be), in regard to the routine and lifestyle that you provide for your child and assist accordingly. 

If this doesn't work, then you know that you have done your very best.  At the least, your progress reports on your lovely child should warm even the coldest meanest MIL... Just remember, she was a mum once too, so she can't be all bad.  Good luck, whatever you do!