I need you guys to settle an argument between my husband and I. I have a 9month old baby that I am sure is high needs, he is very unsettled, very switched on and extremely tempermental. I might get a couple of good days/nights out of him but for the most part he is a nightmare.
We also have a 10yr old who can be quite demanding in his own right.
We live away from family so I dont have a baby sitter and my husband works nightshift, therefore I NEVER get a break from the kids.
I do my absolute best to give my husband a decent shag atleast once a week but as the only night we are in the same bed together is Saturday nights. If I have had a rough week and I am tired on Saturday night, he doesnt get any. The maxium I will let it go with out sex is 2weeks.
My question is how often do you all have sex with your partners? Is my husband being greedy in expecting it atleast twice a week? Or am I being a hold out?
hey i feel bad now my hubby is lucky to get it once a month as we have a 15 month old and im am pregnant again but most men believe that they are hard done by when they don't get sex as often as they would like but the bottom line is they don't do what we do and there for have more enegry and what not but i won't give my hubby sex nless i want it but because he works all different hours it makes it harder and the fact our son doesn't sleep much at all doesn't help. i hope i have helped you to work out wether he is greedy or not.
well good on you for focussing on the sex. we (me and my partner) often talk about it and then oh it's all just too hard, have another wine and go to sleep! But when we make the effort, it's good and we always say, we should do that more often! I did read in a magazine somewhere, sometime, that this woman and her man made a joint decision to have sex every day no matter whether they felt like it or not and they reckoned that they got along a lot lot better and sex got better and communication channels opened up.
cant say I've tried that as yet but we do have our phases. we used to keep saturday night for sex night mainly because he worked shift work as well and it was the only night, same as you but once he went onto days, we got a bit slack again - guess because it's always there?
but stick with it, have lots of sex, then you will have just so much leverage......but do it because you want to not because you feel you have to. you be the schemer if you know what I mean...you take the control
OMG!!! You have all made me feel ashamed of myself my fiancee is lucky to get it once a fortnight i feel awful ive got a good mind to shag him non-stop for the next month!!! He usually whinges that he doesnt get it enough and i tell him tough luck, if you help me with the boys more then you will get it more often! Tell him to take the kids off your hands for a few hours a couple of times a week and you would be more than happy to compensate him
Some of you are just little nympho's LOL Im jealous, I used to be one too. Its just so hard lately. I feel like everyone wants a piece of me!
My husband does understand most of the time, I had my period for the majority of 7months after my baby was born due to different contraceptives not working and he was very patient. I think he misses me and thats why he's been so on my case about it. I miss him too, but I miss my sleep more.
Its especially hard with him on nightshift. Some of you suggested giving him a bit through the day? He is asleep through the day. He comes home in the morning and is up for about an hour then goes to bed. Baby is usually up at this time and if he's not, I need the time to have a shower or else I dont get one coz my baby is a nazi.
There are lots of complicated reasons at the moment, I dont have enough hours in the day, I cant even get on minti much anymore coz the nazi has taken a shine to my computer, every time i touch it he tries to turn it off or gets around my feet like a puppy dog.
greedy hubby LOL no way.....i think he is underestimating himself if anything LOL....
A majority of men think of sex every 3 seconds and put it into action at least 1 time a day LOL.....
To be honest sweetie, tired sex equals bad sex and it would be like having sex with a rag doll (pardon expression)......
You aren't being a hold out at all! Lately i am luck to have a shag 2 times a week..... but i used to have a nookie once to 3 times a day!
Its sad that anyone feels under pressure to be with someone in this way. I know the feeling too.
Hubby complains about getting it a few times a week. He thinks we have it once a fortnight. I wish! It is exhausting trying to meet everyone else's needs day to day.
Women and men are different and all people are different. I get a headache thinking about it and sex doesn't make me feel better!
Hubby is good sometimes - realising that I need help and love but it almost feel a bribe at times - he wants it so he spoils me. Not sure if its a good or bad thing :o
i dont think he is greedy just needy, men think that sex is love this is their way of showing you they love u with a hell of a lot of pleasure for them. i have 4 kids aged 4 and under and we have a sex date every week oh and by the way no# 5 is 7 weeks away. if sat night is the only night for u make it special. get the kids to bed, have a long shower dress nice have a lovely meal with no tv on stare at each other whatever it takes but make sure the tv is off and maybe just talk for a while things will start to change when u feel special too.
Well, here l go with me and my hubby it can be once or twice a day.....every heard a man complain about having it well in my house it happens all the time. We have a 14, 12, 9 and nearly 4 year old and are tryin' for number 5. Since l stopped the mini pill l have been crazy. See now everyone knows...hope this helps.
bit of an invasive question there pmsl. but i do get what you mean well we have a six month old and we probably get in 3-4 times a week usually... when she has been up lots it might go down to two just depends on my mood really, blokes are alwase ready lol... just gotta have a chat and have some time even if the kids are still asleep in the morning if thats better. because you have had a rest. we usually just avoid nights because we are both too tired really. hope this helps... good luck :)'s
well i have to say no he isnt greedy. mine askes for it every night and if he has 2-3 nights without it gets moody and bitchy at me, the only time i get half a break is when i have my period. even if i am sick or have a migraine he says it will help it get better.
there was a point after my son was born and my daughter where i couldnt have sex with him as (with my son) i tore really bad and took so long to heal and the scar tissue would move and really hurt, everytime we had sex i was in tears. and with my daughter i had the depo shot and found out i had bad endometrosis and PSOD and was bleeding for 6 months at a time with a few days grace. we almost came to split over that but he was understanding.
im not sure about your hubby but mine wants it to show his love. as well as stress.
at the moment with my depression he will get it every other night and i know this is sad but if i really dont want it i just roll over and let him "have" me if you get what i mean. but it stops fights and i really dont care.
Oh Sweetie
Be very careful down this path, of letting him have it!!
I have been there myself and it is totally demoralising and made my depression so much worse that I was suicidal.
I used to cry but got told off for spoiling it for him!!!!
In the end you end up having no self respect and no love for your partner either
I had lots of other issues going on too with my marriage but this didn't help my mental state at all
Hugs for you
xxxxx
i dont do this very often at, but yes i still do do it. my hubby really doesnt like it either so it is a last resort type thing. but now that my sex drive is going back to pre kids my depression is getting a lot better which both hubby and i are happy with. :)
I know how you feel. I have a 2 year old and an 11 year old, but I also suffer from MS. I run around taking care of the house, the kids and the other half. My partner and I agreed that the best time for fun is when the kids are in bed. We go and have a bath together, when I politey ask for a shoulder massage, talk about our day and see where things lead to from there. You know that there is more than one way to please a man . If you are willing and he is acceptable use your imagination. The sky is the limit.
once every 2 weeks isn't very often, so i can understand your husbands frustrations but i can understand yours aswell as i know the feeling of being tired and just not up to it, have you talked with your husband about how tired you are and that you understand he needs the closeness and that perhaps you could both try to schedual some time during the day while bub is sleeping or something
for the past year my husband has been working away 2 weeks on and 1 week of so its usually ever day that he is home but before he worked away it was about every second day
My Hubby is the one not wanting any to the point where I counted back to the time of conceiving now 16 month old A.J. and since that shag, we have done it 5 more times. 16 plus 9 months of pregnancy (which let's face it, is really 10 months of pregnancy) is 25 months, over 2 years.....two years and one month = 5 shags in our house.
I dont think you should be pressured into having sex at all,especially in the first year of a babies life.I would suggest to him to perhaps take some of the full on parenting off you the night before your sex date and then give you a nap during that day followed by a massage.....then he may cook dinner for you.Yes it sounds a lot but we primary care givers work on call sometimes 20 hours a day 7 days a week.So if he really truly wants lurrvvvvin he will do it for you.And you may just actually look forward to it because you feel so appreciated and pampered Good Luck regards Merle
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OMG!!! You have all made me feel ashamed of myself my fiancee is lucky to get it once a fortnight i feel awful ive got a good mind to shag him non-stop for the next month!!! He usually whinges that he doesnt get it enough and i tell him tough luck, if you help me with the boys more then you will get it more often! Tell him to take the kids off your hands for a few hours a couple of times a week and you would be more than happy to compensate him
