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HELP! I need advice about my 13yo girl's horrible new attitude!
WOW! Thank God there's others going through this. Well not that I'm excited in your pain by ANY means, but this can be a lonely feeling. My daughter is 14 and will be 15 this summer. OH MY GOSH, the attitude kills me like a knife! I was brought up VERY respectful with adults so it is a HUGE pet peeve in my eyes when I see teenagers or children disrespectful to adults. I have to say she's VERY respectful to teachers, neighbors and authority, it's just her family at home she's lost her mind with. She's VERY mean to her 10 year old brother. It breaks his heart and I have to keep reminding her that he CAN'T take this so personal. Poor guy loves her to death, but she will admit, she loves him but DOESN'T like him at all. AND IT SHOWS! She's very good with my finance. He lives with us and she loves him a lot. He's VERY good w/ the kids and she has never crossed that line of disrespect to him. A lot of it is her attitude when she talks with the family, her body language, her facial reactions and she can't stand to spend time with the family anymore. She HAS to have a friend there or life isn't worth living! I'm very consistent on taking away her cell phone, I Pod, no friends over, no going out with friends during the day, ect ect. We stay through with our punishment, but it isn't 2 days back in to it and it's MUCH worse and we have to start ALL over. I've taken it pretty personal and after reading this blog, I realize I need to ease up and not take it as serious and understand this is just a phase and my sweet daughter will come out one day. Tough Love!
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HELP! I need advice about my 13yo girl's horrible new attitude!
Yep Been there done that!!!
Its an extremely hard and unpleasant experience parenting a moody, independent and forceful teenage girl
I'm afraid you will have to accept that you are not likely to be "friends" for a while
You have to be the mother and the disciplinarian, You don't have to alienate her, but she does have to know there are rules and they will be kept to.
at the same time, when you catch a good moment, make the most of it, do something fun together, even if its just as simple as watching a chick flick. Or the two of you grabbing a coffee in town. Talk about general and safe topics this time is all about bonding not about picking your moment to have a discussion. However at the end of these moments, make sure she knows that you will always be there for her, she only has to ask!
My daughter, now 19 and I had a highly volatile relationship for years, but perseverance is worth it, she is now my best friend and daughter, we tell each other "I Love You" every day and always greet each other with a hug, so stick with it. you are in for a rocky hormonal ride.
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HELP! I need advice about my 13yo girl's horrible new attitude!
Hmm, you are her mum first and foremost - not her friend. At this time she doesn't need a friend, she needs a mum. She is going to push every boundary you ever heard of and more, whether she is taking anything or not - some girls just do. Just because you weren't like that at her age, doesn't mean that she won't be.
Set the boundaries and keep them in place. Make sure that she is aware of the consequences if she decides to over step the mark. Find out what (if anything), does motivate her, what does she like? Use these as rewards for when she does do something well - whether it be school work, being on time, being civil, being tidyish...
Your hubby need not be seen to make the rules, however he does need to show support for you and be a united front with you when she is around. Otherwise she will exploit this weakness... GOOD LUCK what ever you do : )
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HELP! I need advice about my 13yo girl's horrible new attitude!
almost every friend of mine has gone through this or is going through this now,, i know we where never like that but it seems that most our like that now times have changed life rules are differnt ,,it could be a number of things the group she hangs out with also might be like that ,, the school , also when you take things away from her extend the time that you take it from her make it longer ,,,
could it be that shes going to be getting her period soon ? their hormones are going nuts inside ,, not that im making excuses for it but they do go realy weird i have noticed just when they are going to get it ,,,
i dont have any girls ive just seen what my friends with girls have been going through with them
my boys have been up and down with their hormones they are not bad boys but at times the things that come out of their mouth 
have you both tryed to sit down and have a talk about whats going on with her and how she can make things better for you all ?
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I didn't have this problem with her last year & its getting worse, she speaks to me disrespectfully at home & although I punish her with things like grounding her & taking away her beloved cellphone she'll do it again & again! It's almost like suddenly shes not happy with rules & thinks she can either change them or ignore them. I was a pretty rebellious teen myself but she seems a lot worse! My hubby isn't the most confident or experienced stepdad & he also doesn't have a clue what to do with her. Why can't teenagers see when theyre acting like complete idiots & digging a hole for themselves? Our rules arent even overly strict at home,she has it pretty good, I try to be her mum & friend but it just isn't working & I'm going slowly insane here :)
Lexi xxx
